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@tiredtexan That's a great list you provided. I can definitely use some work on speaking less and listening more. I didn't think I had a list, but I guess I do. Here's my list of the things I try to do each day: Respect his need for time alone and know it's not about me. Keep my focus on...

@tiredtexan It seems like we only feel the need to set boundaries when we've experienced something(s) that indicate we're no longer able to go along with the status quo. If the boundary you're drawing hadn't been repeatedly violated, there'd probably be no need to set it. There doesn't seem to...

Congrats on making progress! Is your list specific to your SO or general enough that it might be useful for others? If the latter, I'd love to see it.

@tiredtexan I like the idea of a "Progress" thread. I'm only just starting out. I don't think I'd claim to be successful until several years out.

I want to thank everyone on this site, both Supporters and Sufferers, for sharing your experience, advice and encouragement. I especially want to thank the folks who are willing to call a spade a spade; it's one of the things I most enjoy about this site. When I came here, I thought the...

I'm primarily on this site as a Supporter, but I also have PTSD that is mostly in remission. After spending over a decade (~1984-1996) doing various types of therapy, after six months of EMDR in 1996, I "graduated" from therapy. Since then, I've been completely free of the most devastating...

I was in a similar situation. It's really tough to bear. I'm unsure if my experience will help you, but it worked for me. I sent him an email talking about my experience of him escalating and how it affected me. I also told him in the future I would simply say, "you're escalating love." If...

The feelings you're experiencing seem very similar to mine. I'm new here too. This forum has been so helpful to me, mostly in helping me to focus on myself and take care of myself. Like me, you sound completely focused on her and walking on eggshells making sure you say just the right thing...

@Dead Link Removed I think you may have misunderstood. In no way are we sharing fiances.

@Junebug No, we don't live together. We talked about it and decided it wasn't a good idea. He's not even local currently; he's across the country for a few months (Sept - Dec). We primarily communicate via Hangouts and email.

@Sweetpea76 Thanks, this is just what I needed to hear. You couldn't be more spot on.

Maybe I shouldn't have included the back story, as it seems to be distracting from the real issue. The real issue is whether it's better to deliver bad news when the Sufferer is already stressed dealing with a similar issue or waiting until they've recovered from that stress knowing that you...

S and I have been dealing with money issues, and I've been freaking out as much as he has. I let the money issue get me so stressed that I lost my center and ended up giving him unfiltered access to my head, which didn't go well. It's led us to deal with some general relationship issues, like...

I too understand where you're coming from and don't have any answers. S and I tried for about a year to make things work to no avail. We parted for six years, thinking neither wanted to be with the other. We just reconnected in June. Our connection persisted throughout the years, and we're...

@EveHarrington Thanks! He has mentioned a few times that we should put things on hold until he's cancer free. He realizes he's not able to be there for me now. Not only isn't he able to offer me much while dealing with cancer/chemo, he's also shut me out and won't tell me much at all about...

@EveHarrington Thank You! Your response was extremely helpful. I started this thread precisely because I don't think I understand boundaries (and I suspect I'm not alone). I'm so grateful to have found this site, so I can bring my confusions and concerns here instead of acting inappropriately...

Here's an example of my struggle: S was feeling fragile in general and particularly about a conversation we were beginning. He expressed concerns that I would reject him. I affirmed that I'm not going anywhere. I also told him I'm scared he'll leave me. His response was that he's too...

I'm reaching the point where I see that for me to maintain sanity amidst the chaos of loving and supporting a PTSD Sufferer, I need to keep the focus on me and take care of my needs. I realize I need to set boundaries, both for myself and for my Sufferer. I've been reading a lot of discussions...

@Kriamjolee Wow, thank you so much for coming back and sharing again in retrospect. I'm in the thick of it and have realized my issue is staying focused on and taking care of myself. Your response reaffirmed that taking care of myself is key. It's going to take some time, but I too hope I can...

@Litha I feel your pain. I'm going through it too. On top of cPTSD, S is also dealing with cancer and chemo, which makes it all MUCH worse. It feels like everything's an issue. He doesn't want me to have expectations of him, yet he has a long list of expectations/boundaries for me that he...

@Friday Thank you so much for your two cents; it's easily worth a dollar :P It helps to hear and be reminded of what may be going on in his head. I know asking me for financial help triggers him and makes him feel very fragile, but helping him get on benefits may possibly be worse since...

@Sweetpea76 Yes, I'm planning to suggest he apply for disability as well, though I'm unsure how well it'll be received.

@Ragdoll Circus Thank you for your response. It was very helpful. You especially hit the nail on the head that I'm always concerned I'm just postponing the issue and we'll have to come back to it in a few months. @NaeNae75 Thanks for your response. I do think our issues are quite different...

I'm really regretting have made this post. Earlier I tried to go back in and edit it, but I'd just missed the editing window. My stress level has been off the charts the last month, and I don't think I'm thinking clearly. After posting I realized this is crazy. Of course this isn't a valid...

S and I have a history of me lending/giving him money. It happened several times when we were involved for about a year seven years ago, and it's now the second time he needs money (we've been back together since June). It's very difficult for him to ask for help because of the shame he feels...