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Go as often as you NEED to go, for as long as you NEED to go. Who cares what anyone else thinks, anyone doing intensive counseling is an intensely brave and courageous person! I think we all have varying needs, varying internal rhythms, need varying amounts of time to process a session, and/or...

^ I want to like this like 15 times! I'm so glad you made the call and got support from your partner and are telling yourself good, true things about it!

No one can make you talk about your trauma. That's your choice. There are things out of your control- but who you disclose to and when are totally within your control and are your choice. It sounds like your thought pattern may be something like "I'm scared of talking about all this stuff, and...

I posted this question midway through another thread but the thread died and I didn't get an answer so I thought I'd try again, because the question is still bugging me: Say you have a history of abuse by a male and as a result you are simply more aware of the fact that men can and do sexually...

Wow- what your post described actually described something very similar I went through for a few months, after a few years of therapy. (Actually it was very reassuring and normalizing to hear you describe it. My T always said it was okay and part of healing but I never got comfortable with being...

I honestly don't know. It's so hard to see past the gender issue. I mean, if you were negotiating to buy a car from a used salesman who happened to be a grizzly bear, your (very legitimate) fear of grizzly bears would make you totally unable to evaluate whether the deal he was offering was a...

Wow. I can see where that would have been uncomfortable. Some people really struggle matching what they are feeling to appropriate, encouraging words! :-( I'm sorry. I am still in therapy but felt ready to work on my (BIG) issues with the opposite gender so with my T's encouragement, I decided...

I don't think it's unhealthy as long as you don't sum yourself up in a package of labels. You are more dynamic and complex than any labels, if you grasp them too tightly I think there is a greater risk of getting stuck. But if you use them as tools to help understand how to untangle yourself...

I just wanted to chime in and add to the chorus that I don't think anyone is untreatable who wants to fight for themselves, even a little. I also saw a number of therapists who really had no clue until finally finding one I clicked with and who really understood trauma and it made such a big...

I read your post about your therapist nodding off- and I'm so glad you are taking action to find someone who will engage with you. I drove nearly 90 minutes each way to see my old therapist. I kind of liked the drive because it gave me time to prepare my mind and on the way home to kind of...

You've taken a big leap! I'm so glad you trust her to hear the details, that's such a big deal to get to that point. I hope it hasn't been too rough for you. I kinda don't think it is awkward... but that would be completely based on my experience with the T I disclosed to. Although, now that...

If you are a visual thinker, you might check out mind mapping (see examples by looking up mind map on wikipedia) It's basically just creating a very messy flow chart- but by laying it out visually you can make connections you might otherwise not be able to see.

Gosh, that's a big question. Maybe someone else can share the "theory" behind why that's so important in the treatment of trauma, but in my personal experience it was valuable because I had this mess of memories and triggers, like, vacuum sealed tightly into a dark part of my brain and I never...

I think it's incredibly normal to want to tell the details and a really good sign that you have a good relationship and are starting to heal. Would it be helpful to know how others broached the topic? For me, I first told my T by writing stories in third person about another girl. That gave me...

I think a little bit. I actually picked him because in build/age/complexion he looks like my primary abuser... so no surprise it's going slow... I knew it would progress faster with some old professorial type guy but I hope the difficulty of this will pay off in diffusing those triggers... We...

Going on 9 weeks.

Well pat yourself on the back. That's a huge first step towards change! If you are in the US, expect to start with some paperwork and to be cut off before you say almost anything with a disclosure of when the counselor would have to break confidentiality. It's an awkward way to start, but...

This is a really interesting thread. My question would be: Say you have a history of CSA by a male you and as a result you are simply more aware of the fact that men can and do sexually assault women. The news every single day reinforces that that is a fact. So if you were to see a male T and be...

Maybe that's okay? I had that same fear when I started working on my trauma with a therapist, I told her and we talked about it (a LOT) and ultimately I decided it was okay to become dependent on someone, to NEED someone, for a little while if it meant healing and learning a healthier...

I'm sorry you feel stuck in that loop. It sucks for sure! Can I encourage you that slowly, eventually the frantic-ness goes away with a good T? I have struggled with really, really significant attachment issues. I'd had a similar previous experience with therapy. A T who wasn't experienced with...

I think you are really brave for identifying a need and working towards it. You may be able to find a kind of general group. The group I settled into is really generic, just anyone working on dealing with a painful past- and that's kind of nice cause I don't have to worry about whether I fit...

I don't feel like I have anything relevant to contribute in terms of what is or isn't helpful or okay to ask for from your T- however, I did want to say that I have definitely had this need met in a safe way through participating in groups. Have you thought about trying a group therapy...

Just wanted to say I've sort of been through something sort of similar and can sympathize. Circumstances change sometimes and even a really good therapeutic relationship has to end prematurely sometimes. It sucks but it's nobody's fault. I'm really glad you have a few months to process the...

Have you tried journalling or even making a flow chart to block out the parts you remember and maybe fill in some blanks? That often helps me. If it really bothers you, I think it would be okay to text or email your T and explain you can't remember and you are distressed by that and if she...

I think so. Even if you weren't able to do much work on your trauma, just adding to your brain's catalog of relational experiences an experience of feeling safe and heard and understood by another person would be valuable and helpful. Even on the flip side... I met with a not-very-good...