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I started the therapy with my T more than a year ago. The subject was difficulties that I had with my family ( my parents and brother). They were very depended on me and it made it very difficult to focus on my son. She helped me a lot in this issue and setting boundaries with them. Few months...

I started exposure therapy with my T. She said that we are going to write "the story" and read it many times. The thing is that I don't have real memories only the flashbacks. So I wrote on paper all the flashback , dreams, body memories etc. we had 2 sessions of reading the list of thing that...

My heart goes for you. your reaction is so natural. I would feel the same. Honestly I don't think that I would have the strangth to understand him. It is very logical thing to understand that something happened to him and right now you are emotional. what works for me is to acknowledge my...

Amen to that!!!

What is pure? What it means to be pure again?

I had the same experience. 8 years ago i started to have body memories of sexual abuse but no "pictures" or "movies". Decided not to deal with it and closed the thing inside. Few months ago it started again. same body memories. no pictures. no face. i suspected someone but i wasn't sure. This...

wow!! i was touched by this. if i could cry i would. i never thought about it that maybe i feel that i belong to him it feels right and sad thank you

me too - when i sense his presence its like when he was young not the old and sick person that i remember very well. and then the flashbacks begin. its like a warning sign. its like he is in my blod system moving around. our brain is such a flexibal and strange thing ....

the logical part in me knows that its my thoughts. but when it happen i become haunted and afraid. yesterday when i read my son bed time story i felt that the abusers spirit is in the house angry and something bad is going to happen. i was terrified/ tried to tell myself that its just my...

Thank you !!!! I feel better :)

today i went to the grocery shop and wanted to buy 10 bagles. and than i heard his pressence again and felt that as if he is telling me why you are buying 10?!! 8 is enough. and i bought only 8 because i became afraid. after i left the place i thought to myself that if i will tell this to my T...

Thank you :-)

can you ask him what he ment when he said that?

I mean not in a bad or abusive way just feel his pressence as if he is near you? this person is dead for 4.5 years and i never sensed his pressence untill i started to work on the abuse in therapy. usually after this feeling there are flashbacks so i get ready. to be honest (and i am going to...

Yes. It is because I spoke about him. I just didn't know how much it will effect me. I also can't say his name. My T used his name at that session. And those flashbacks started. It's if she opened "Pandora Box". Today we had 3rd session in exposure process. This session was terrible. I was...

i know exactly what you mean. i have the same experience. i am a freelance and work from home so most of the time i am alone with the flashbacks. but if it happen when i am with my son, i freeze. only when he starts to shout "momy!!!! you are dreamimg again" i do my best to come back. its...

spoke to a friend about it she said that its emotional flashback. it feels like it will never end tired tnx to whoever read my post

Hi, When do you recommend to try EMDR?

Hi everybody In the last few month since the abuse came up I had all kind of very strong flashbacks (body memories, pictures, emotional (especially feelings of horror). It was day and night and so terrible that I started to think about suicide although I am not suicidal. And then after massive...

Very touching ! Thank you for sharing :)

If you listen closely you will find out that trees speak too. Each tree had its own vibe. Honestly!! :)

I know that she will hug me I I ask for it. The thing is that: A. I am afraid that she will feel how disgusting I am B. I will make her dirty C. If she will hug me. What will be the cost? What will I have to do to "pay" for this act of love or compassion. When I read what I wrote I feel sad...

I know exactly what you mean. We started to work on the CSA few months ago. And somtimes I ask her not to walk me out because I can't stand her being near me. (She is so pure and I am so dirty and damaged). So a hug is too much now. And I also don't want to be confused as I was with the other T...

My T told me that some of her clients needs a hug and she hugs them if they want. But with me she is careful because we are dealing with child sexual abuse. I told her that I don't want a hug and asked her not to touch me even accidentally. I had hugging therapists before. They used to hug and...

Is there something/ topic you want to tell your T and you don't? Or do you feel that there is something you feel wants to come up? How would it feel when it will be it? What do you imagine it will look like? In my T after 10 months I felt the same as you. Felt that we were just chatting and...