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wow thank you for such wonderful input. Let me tell you what I believe my problem to be is. I think that this might help other people. In fact I will start a new thread on this. I believe that because of my personal trauma, partially due to family, and partially due to being an aspie, I...

thank you so much for your input. Absolutely I have structured lists, in fact, in my 12-step group, we track our time aggressively with a timing app. Maybe I need to clarify myself. I got myself in this jacked up quandary by overworking myself 7 days a week for many years. and I recently had to...

I totally hear you, I would not want to be in any state databases either. It's not exactly friendly in the United States right now. However, it might be something you want to try for a couple times. But if you already got spooked out from it really bad from before, I wouldn't be so sure about...

Thank you, I really appreciate that

thank you so much for asking! So it is been over two weeks, and I have zero craving for cannabis, sugar, or chocolate. I believe that these are the last, or among the very last of my Addictions. I take no other medication, and have not for a number of years. as expected, I am having some...

Exactly. But I'm wanting to even take this a further step. Playing video games, doing puzzles, taking a planned hike involves planning and goal directions. I'm talking literally doing stuff that does not require planning or executive functioning whatsoever. I'm not saying this other stuff is not...

I would like to ask you good folks a question. do you think one's symptoms could be attenuated by adopting habit of unstructured, zero goal directed activity for certain periods of time? I ask this because for me, constantly having goal-directed activity I believe it's very toxic and causes...

oh my God, I totally hear you. I have deeply messed up parts of my frontal lobe being in constant analysis. This habit needs to be broken as soon as possible. Let me explain to you what's happening. this is a type of dissociation. In that this is a defensive mechanism that is kicking in because...

Oh I hear what you're saying! But I was a f****** goddamn basket case way before I even touched this stuff. I was depressed, suicidal, and a nervous wreck as a little kid, and as a young woman. So I was definitely self-medicating to suppress severe mental illness and psychotic thinking way...

thank you for the deep insight. oh yes, I'm only halfway through the 4th step, and the flashbacks have torn a new orifice. I suppose this is what ego death feels like. I killed part of my ego several years ago with ayahuasca, and obviously I have some ugly residue. I am going through these...

These are very sweet words. thank you so much for taking the time to write these for a stranger. I will meditate on these words. but not having support, not having any level of professional success whatsoever, and living below poverty despite extreme efforts is getting me really down. I feel...

I am in a 12-step program for a process addiction and I am working on the 4th step, which is an inventory of resentments. I am 47, well educated, a good person, hard-working and I have literally failed at everything in life. I have had two marriages that were abusive, and they basically ended...

yes, it does have a long half-life. however, I think that I may have wrongly attributed my dissociation to cannabis. And I think I used cannabis and knowingly to treat the dissociation that was there before. so I think the reason why this is bothering me so bad is that the dissociation has...

Well, I have dug into the scientific literature, and there seems to be a lot of confusion there. So so I wouldn't call it exactly misinformation. However, some of the descriptors for BPD are a bit vague, thus causing confusion for a lot of professionals and investigators alike. For instance...

Okay guys, I found the paper by the NIH which distinguishes C PTSD from BPD. I want to direct your attention in this paper to table 1. it appears that for me, my issue is with C PTSD, rather than BPD. I hope this helps other folks Distinguishing PTSD, Complex PTSD, and Borderline Personality...

Thank you guys for your beautiful responses. I am very blessed in that after decades of being on various Pharmaceuticals, heavy coffee use, and fairly light cannabis use, that the only thing I put in my body today is black tea. I was on at least 11 medications in the past, and for me personally...

I am not a heavy user of cannabis , but I was a consistent one. A week ago I had some personal revelations that led me to stop cannabis for personal Improvement and development. I am incredibly blessed to live in a beautiful city in South America. As I was observing myself over the past few...

Ronin, thank you so much for your very thoughtful answer. I've been locked up in the nuthouse and on and off because of psychosis and suicide attempts. it probably has to do with my oversensitivity, but when any human being is under stress, psychosis can happen for a myriad of reasons. I asked...

Thank you for your service Friday. I have had several therapists mention this, but honestly I do not think that they were trained enough to know the difference between C PTSD and borderline. I have studied the nine traits of BPD, and have read extensively in the scientific literature, being an...

I have some severe complex trauma due to abuse in childhood as well as in adulthood. I am also on the mild autism spectrum. I have also struggled with long bouts of and psychotic breaks, possibly due to a schizoaffective issue. Surprise, surprise! have recently discovered that I have...

You know, ever wonder how Job (biblical Job) felt when god took away everything on a bet with the devil...and supposedly replaced it all after the fact? Do you think he was as righteous as before? I think he probably had CPTSD, if I could venture to guess. BTW, I am not a believer.

Thank you for you insight. While this is true about nature in "rare" instances, social networks in the animal kingdom must have trust to function. For humans, if we don't have social contracts, we don't have civilization. If we do not have fair competition, like we do now in the western world...

This is what I have lost in the last 7 years. 1. Career as a scientist 2. 2 marriages 3. stable home (10 moves in 9 years) 4. 2 cats to being eaten by wildlife outside my home, 1 to other circumstances 5. My FOO 6. Two businesses 7. Endless string of toxic "friends" 8. My mom and grandmother...

Tons of golden stuff here. Luckily, the major part of the brain that gets damaged with PTSD can grow dendrites and actual neurons. So, in many aspects, a lot (or at least some) of the disability from this can be reversed. I mean, I know I have some vulnerable, tender patches, I have a regimented...

Wow what a great discussion. I sincerely hopes it helps a few of you out there. I just wanted to share my experience, and what I am having to do to have a life worth living. It wasn't just foods, I had to eliminate my FOO, an abusive and dangerous husband, exposure to extraneous, uneeded...