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All wise ideas. Really trying to avoid ED

Trying to be safe. And i know need to communicate it before too late

How do i tell dr whats fully going on and are very close to just not being here anymore...? Im ..... I dont really have the words :/

Yes CA seems only thing that would really happen is a 5150 even if go in voluntarily they can still 5150 you dont trust cleanliness there is reason county is on watch list Thank you for sharing all good points and yes to melatonin. I think big one is proper sleep. Have not looked at turmeric. Im...

Thank u. And no physical dont want to be touched Oh man sounds like a journey. Im glad to hear resolved❤ Dont trust people, germs, being POC in medical system, got hurt last time was there.. It forces you to be "normal" or at least pretend(nursenhelped me with that said to eat socialize etc so...

Brain thinks that sounds so nice also brain thinks want to be SO DONE

All good points. Why do you chicken?

Ronin your amazing your words are comforting. Make me feel a little more normal for "going whacko" and instead of trying to keep pushing through(which will get me no more) and stay "strong" to just let go and go to hospital for even just a few days...but at same time terrified as last 2 times...

Idk. And wow i never thought of going to hospital as self care ❤ and yes i guess pos

Your words are amazing. And they know bio mom was bipolar and had lupus dont really share she killed self. As for step bro no. My brain thinks hospital to stay alive yet not good. Hospital horrible.

It doesnt help that my bio mom lost her fight and more recently like 1.5 weeks ago step brother(werent super close or anything) lost his fight too they found him in a parking lot OD It just seems like if you add everything up my fight is futile. Defeated

Hey JL. Led to ptsd abused in process of being adopted, abusive physically/emotionally adoptive parents, sexual assaults growing up and being sold for sex by female cheer coach Physical health isnt best joint issues overactive thyroid eating disorder....anxiety literally makes me sick GERD body...

I appreciate you saying all this i get out when can but at times have to come right back home get dizzy drenched in sweet feel like pass out..i try to breath distract etc but hard to get out. A stock pile of pills...safer to throw away but drs just keep prescribing more stuff hard not to down...

Im not even sure more meds is good idea. Im starting to have a real good stock :/

Been various ones through years mirtazapine, sertraline, quetiapine trazadone, hyland rests, hylands calm tablet, diphenhydramine, z quil, advil pm, tylonel pm No i dont. I dont have anyone i trust enough.

Multi-racial black irish dutch even dr agrees being black in world of health care is disadvantage...had therapist where even b4 meeting told about SH then 9 months later told me ahe couldnt help

Im very specific told them over and over how many times wake up, average sleep is 4 hours, what i do before bed etc etc. Dr even like well seems like your doing everything im supposed to. Why keep fighting if what one does doesnt make difference? I need help with getting to place where can...

Oh i get that. But when some says "they dont understand how to get Me to talk and are frustrated with themselves. But maybe im wrong to believe what THEY said.(even though in email) hmmm.. Trust me i would of stated i think they dont understand if it was that. Hence why wrote "they dont...

Thanks. Same.

And yes to be blunt pretty fd good way of putting it

Hm pretty much me. Adoptive mom helps somewhat financially but besides that not much of relationship. Im the person people call when they need a resourceful person beyond that keep to self(no one really hits me) dr and psych nurse but they are struggle psych nurse called and most of convo was...

The SH, constant suicide thoughts, severe lack of sleep, pretty much verbally mute these days, .and other things

Reached a threshold. Hiw can one have hope when eve professionals struggle to help? So over this shit.

Your words are perfect. Ive been in tears on and off since 7 am. Tried cutting no reprieve. Tried eating just made me feel sicker. Been watching Disney movies bit cant focus on them so its just noise. Cleaned a little but do that every day throught out day Im so happy to hear you were able to...

U all are amazingly brave for sharing. It freaks my out/ disgusting but only way to make them stop is to M(can't type word) which is even more disgusting. I start to get to point which then something happens i get really terrified feel like peeing and just stop. Confused disgusted ashamed and...