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I'm trying super hard to focus on positive stuff. Feels like it's gravity dragging my thoughts down but I know better, I can change direction if I concentrate on steering this out of the awful darkness.

I'm sad and hurt. Haven't tried much 'sad' since the long awaited miracle of the right antidepressants. It's different being sad without it rapidly descending into misery and despair. I know it'll pass, the hurt-sad is part of this moment and it will not last forever.

I'll see if the feelings come out later, they're hiding right now.

I'm really confused and afraid to admit that anything hurt.

I'm sad in a strange way that I don't really understand. Not sure which skills to use to manage my way through new situations but I know I'll find a way to be okay. It's just going to hurt for a moment, then it will pass.

There's tidal waves of emotions flowing that I've got very little experience at handling or even feeling, usually they get repressed before reaching the surface. I'm not even sure what it is. Until I figure out what this is or how to express it I'll settle for keeping myself balanced, centered...

I'm having a harsh moment, boundaries are difficult. I know I'm making a good decision, but it's exhausting trying to keep myself healthy while letting unhealthy people know that their behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable. Hopefully with practice I won't have to focus and concentrate so...

I'm so glad everything is crowded and I have an excuse to stay home- my new doll got a few things in the mail today, I'm done being grown-up.

@Anrish Oh, I hope your grandmother is doing okay, and I'm glad she has your mom there to make sure she gets proper care. I've been pretty okay today. Starting to be almost productive, but it's scattered and disorganized. That's still progress and I'm trying to be content with it. It's...

@gizmo Would you take yourself out for a fancy coffee because I'm too far away to share a treat for doing the most healthy thing you can even when it's super difficult? Mocha-latte-frappa-whatever, you deserve it. I don't even care that it's snowy and yucky outside, this warm gooey feeling is...

Thank you @Cashew I appreciate it a lot, and I had a cupcake. It's enough for now, I'll try again later.

Some kind of crying, confusion, and at the moment I'm struggling with loss of appetite- I'm diabetic, I need to eat even if I don't want to.

It's horrid, but that's temporary. Not thinking too clearly but I'm okay enough to remind myself that while it sucks right now, it'll be a lot better in the months and years afterward. That's a difficult concept, challenging enough to distract from my nervous system howling like a wounded banshee.

Oh the meds, day two and the switch to a less-potent benzo anxiety med is horrible. Silly me, read too far down the page after confirming that yes, this is withdrawal and not the 'mild to moderate discomfort' that my new p-doc told me to expect. I guess this weirdness can sometimes last for...

I'm still feeling the physical effects of google maps telling me to do insanely stupid things while driving yesterday, I did it anyhow because it was still less scary than getting lost. Worth it, I'm pretty sure the new p-doc is going to be much more helpful in the long run. I just hope I get...

Thanks @DharmaGirl , I'm doing a bit better today, not quite all the way but much improved. I'm trying to hold onto the feeling of being able to help a friend- it means a lot when I get to help someone. Maybe focusing on that will make it easier to drive to a new place to meet my new p-doc. I...

Think I caught some kind of cooties, mostly achey and tired with a strong worry of spreading these germs.

Numb. I've been on a game binge again. No clue what hurts or if I'm angry or what could've bothered me. Eh, could've went for liquor or drugs, I think I'm okay with letting the addictive stuff come out as video games.

I feel like I got a free pass. Mom decided I shouldn't visit dad in the hospital (for the fourth or fifth time over the same thing) because I might catch something if I go. Relief- he's such a brat when he's ill, but my poor mother...

I'm afraid that the needy scared thing inside might give off a smell that attracts predators. In other words I'm kinda lonely but far too skittish of humans to go near one- doesn't matter who approaches whom, I'd dart off like a spooked little bunny so I might as well just avoid that thought...

Tired and having tea after t-time. I'm pretty sure the new T is one of the really good ones- I explained the lingering effects of going through the first part of my history at our last session so we shifted and worked on mindfulness.

I started getting a feeling I haven't seen enough to know a name for yet, but it crashed into a tidal wave of invalidation and shame. If I had energy left, I might be confused. Everything hurts, I'm eagerly awaiting meds and bed.

Antidepressants can help- I was quite confused, those three or four days of thinking about suicide were there for so long that I was actually frightened until I did some math. I don't do math if I can avoid it, I really thought something might be wrong with me. Not sure which antidepressant is...

hugs @gizmo and more hugs because I just don't know what to say. You acted out of love and concern and that's still what I see in your posts. Don't forget to love and be concerned about yourself, maybe have a pajama day tomorrow?

How about an imaginary pet? Your user image could be the fictional pet and mentioning it in the 'about me' section would throw people off if they had bad intentions. I'd fake having a cat because I'm known to like dogs and reptiles, rearrange the assortment of possible pretend pets until one...