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I should probably hope for the latter option but it feels so icky to hope for the better option even though it’s what I want. I should probably try to figure out why I feel that way. Feeling hopeful is so hard these days.

That’s pretty good advice. I keep thinking I needing to let my walls down completely but it’s healthy not to trust others completely right away. I definitely relate to this. It’s kind of what I’m afraid of. I don’t want to force myself to do this and end up worse for wears. Then again if...

That’s really good to know. I hadn’t really thought about what would happen when actually getting therapy. That’s a whole new level of discomfort. Hopefully the good kind that will eventually lead to some kind of resolution. I should probably manage my expectations before I get disenchanted and...

I forget that I don’t have to commit right away. I could ask for a consultation and ask questions to see if they’re a good fit. Somehow I forget that I can ask questions and don’t have to just accept whatever they say without my own input. Have this same problem with relationships with others in...

I guess I’m just waiting for the apprehension to lift a little bit. I have hefty walls around my emotional self. Opening up to others didn’t really make me feel any better in the past and in a lot of cases made things worse. It’s a conundrum. I know I need the support but at the same I can’t...

Sugar detox. Bought Nutella for my brother and I’ve been the one eating it. Go figures. Speaking of Nutella… Nutella or Peanut butter?

I’ve been lurking here for maybe a week now but decided to bite the bullet and introduce myself. Guess I needed to canvas the place to make sure it’s safe. My name is Kim. I’m 27. I felt since I was kid that something was “wrong” with me. I wanted to be a psychiatrist starting in high school...

I’m not a man but I’ve also had a history of sexual abuse. My ex also did and the perp was a female. I’m glad you were able to come here and seek community. It definitely helps to know you are not alone and that talking about your experience is welcomed.

Non-trauma related books I have read lately have been about pretty dark themes: Motherthing by Ainslie Hogarth Perfect Days by Raphael Montes The trauma related books I haven’t finished but read parts I relate to: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker (brought me here...

I am grateful for my little brother and cousins. They remind me that there are people I am safe around.

I’m still going through the forums but I found the article on the difference between triggers and stressors helpful. It helped me realize that a lot of my reactions are to stressors in my life so I should focus on telling myself I am safe and the thing I stressing about isn’t a danger me.

A couple days ago. Somehow it feels longer. lol

I think instead of looking for a specific diagnosis it’s helpful to find techniques that help you. The diagnosis is primarily there for the therapist to inform treatment and for you to understand yourself better. A lot of diagnoses can have dissociative symptoms. If you think you might have a...

Hi Nettie! I’m also new here! It seems we’re close in age. I’ll be 28 in August. Nice to see another new person here! You can call me Kim!

I feel disgusted and apprehensive. I read something that reminded me of past dating experiences. I want to date because I want a husband and kids, but I don’t feel ready to date. I’m so apprehensive to new people and especially to anything romantic. I’m honestly surprised I can hold...

Sight

I don’t even know anymore. I’m avoiding dating and anyone who could possibly be interested in me or I in them. I don’t trust whatever draws me people and them to me. I guess I could say the things I’d want in a partner, entirely based on what I don’t want. Patient, compassionate...

I’m glad it worked out and that he’s giving you the space you need. It’s completely understandable that you would be upset. It’s very frustrating to have your boundaries not be respected and to have to keep setting them. It’s especially troubling when we’ve had problems setting boundaries in...

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I can today accept all parts of me, even the overwhelming emotions.

I definitely understand why you would feel upset. It’s hard trying to be there for someone while also trying to work through our own stuff. I think the tone of the message came across as dismissive. You weren’t trying to come across that way. You were probably just overwhelmed and not knowing...

I’ve been reading psych books on trauma, so I’m wondering how much of my childhood was a normal experience or just based on trauma. Now just numbly or blankly doing things seems to be my default and I have to shake myself out of it. Sometimes I straight up dissociate and lose connection with...

The most vivid early memory I have is of sitting in front of the tv just blankly watching it. Not really reacting to anything on it. Then my mom came home and she gave me a look that said I was in trouble. I remembered that I had thrown a tantrum at day care and they callled her about it. I felt...

The song The Death of Peace of Mind by Bad Omens.

McDonald’s The new Spicy Ranch Club sandwich with fries and a Sprite. Helped myself to some dessert too since I skipped lunch and had an early breakfast.