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Thank you, wish that hug had real arms! I appreciate your kindness

I am drawn to older women and men and deeply crave their attention and affection. Many older men have mistaken that want for sexual desire. My subconscious often reverts to sexual thoughts about older men and women, I think as a way of trying to get that affection any way it takes. Very...

I need to be held and feel unconditional love. Not a reality in my life. Ended up making it through scouts but lost my s%$# afterwards and drove up into the mountains with a bottle of pills. ...not smart or safe. Called a friend and had some tough conversations. Still angry, hurt and...

Had emdr yesterday and talk therapy tomorrow. ....I want to throw a temper tantrum, tell people to f%$# off, then have a good cry and a long hug. But dinner has to be made and I have a scout meeting. Argh!!!!!!

Emdr is intense, exhausting and can exacerbate ptsd symptoms for days afterwards. I feel like a zombie, just mentally depleted. The most important two things are: you need to be ready to try something new and open to suggestions and second you need to be able to trust the therapist. Emdr can...

Right now I'm in a bad ptsd spell so I put pretty much all day. However, I'm usually in 2 to 3 hour range

I'm so glad! I resisted it too for a long time but it has truly and literally been a life saver.

Riddikulus! The thousand sheets of paper start to blow all around the room and start folding themselves into paper airplanes. As they circle you instead of dropping stress hormone they drop pieces of your favorite candy! Today my boggart is my best friend! I imagine she's plotting to...

Mine are visual. I describe them as walking onto a movie set and seeing it in third person. I also have visual and auditory hallucinations. The most severe flashbacks also bring physical pain and I've been known to completely shut down. Freeze. Like temporary catatonia.

I started emdr in April. It's exhausting and I'm usually pretty zombified for a few days but my flashbacks have gone from running two weeks to three days. Once processing them through emdr if I am triggered the flashback doesn't stay long and doesn't completely derail me for days. It's not a...

I'm taking prazosin and no other psych related meds. Prazosin is actually not a mind altering med per say, it's a blood pressure med and used for prostate hypertrophy. Because it's an adrenergic blocker it lessens the body's symptoms to adrenaline. Takes some of the adrenaline edge off of day...

Welcome! I lurked as a guest for about a year before I joined too. I'm also dealing with complex ptsd and using talk therapy and emdr.

@Junebug I usually have horrible flashbacks when he's gone, my routine is messed with as well as my safety. That on top of my surgery and extreme vulnerability at the moment and fears of the future. My two supporters are unavailable right now. It's all made for a perfect ptsd storm. However...

Thanks for your kindness @Heather I want to lie and say I'm great but it's been a rough day. Fortunately and unfortunately I've been self harming since I was 3 and have become proficient at minimizing actual damage. Physically I'm OK, mentally fragile, emotionally upset, tearful and worried...

I did Journaling on both questions. The first about therapy gave me shred of hope of how high functioning I really am. I could see a little potential in my hopes, they aren't completely impossible. That felt good. The second question about trauma never happening was much harder. I never had...

Disappointed with myself, shameful. My husband left town for two weeks, I freaked out and hurt myself to find quick relief. What a way to start day! Argh!!! I need a reset button, anyone got one?

I'm totally game! A boggart is chasing me in the shape of a man with a gun through the forest!

I hear you loud and clear! There is a fantastic conversation going on in another thread about this exact thing and our distorted thinking. I'll post the link, hopefully it sticks. https://www.myptsd.com/posts/960853/ Name That Distorted Cognition (thought/perception)

I found a note from my grandmother she gave me twenty years ago when I was struggling, she passed away soon after. She wrote of loving me and some beautiful encouragement. It was like a little note from heaven.

Grateful for kind and encouraging messages from friends. Recovering from a major surgery and my prognosis for mobility is not good. It's nice to hear they believe in me.

Feeling functional today! I've identified some issues and worked through some of it, at least started on a game plan. Still feeling lonely and misunderstood but I can deal with that today.

Thank you! Also read the article posted by albatross I think on wikihow. It was like my soul was starving for this information, like someone gave a perfect description of my struggle. I'm working on basic tools like identify and stopping the thinking spiral effect. Thanks for the ((hug))

Thank you, I'm sure if my supporters read this they would give you a huge amen! It helps me to know this is a loving struggle of balance not because they despise me. They assure me they love me deeply but sometimes they struggle to cope too. Never thought of it that way.

I'm way late to the conversation on this one, but it blew my mind! I do every. Single. One. All. Day. Long. It's like a crazy, sick cycle. Printing this off and adding it to my therapy journal!

Feeling fragile today and afraid to do anything for fear of cracking. Making today a self care day. @Junebug I'm always grateful for virtual hugs, thank you!!!