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It can be really hard to pick up the phone. I still haven't called my therapist and it's almost 7pm. I can feel myself slipping further into a dark place and putting walls up around me. I feel like I have no voice.

I can relate to feeling like a "freak", but encourage you to reframe that message you are telling yourself into something more compassionate (I need to do this, too), like remembering that not everybody has had the same types of experiences you have and it's perfectly acceptable to feel the way...

I really appreciate your replies, @HollyBeans27 and @JEKBreatheandBelieve. Thank you. I wish that my therapist accepted e-mails, but he will only take phone calls and I don't know what to say. I feel as though I cannot speak and have so much shame right now it's unbearable. I want my...

Thanks for asking, @JEKBreatheandBelieve, and sorry to hear that you're still struggling too. Monday was really hard. I was and still am finding it very hard to hold it together. I told my therapist about the feelings of hopelessness and shame and my thoughts about suicide, and I continued...

Welcome! I, too, love your user name. Being mindful is tough, but it sure does make a difference when we can do so. I struggle to put things into words, too. I find it a little bit easier to do when I am playing with something like putty that my therapist gives me to hold and squeeze. I...

What others have said...it's never too late to seek out disability services, have your disability documented, and have letters written to your professors stating the accommodations that you need. The only people that need to be aware of the nature of your disability are those in disability...

You may want to buy the book, 'Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body' by David Emerson and also search on Youtube for 'trauma sensitive yoga' or 'trauma informed yoga' because there are a few videos that take you through a practice. But I hope you can find a practitioner because...

I hate that you've had this experience. It is so upsetting. I live in the city, too, and have been cat-called and made to feel unsafe on several occasions and it's always very triggering. There's a really neat and empowering worldwide movement to end street harassment called 'Hollaback!'...

You were a victim. Keyword: were. But you survived. You're a survivor now. I think using the word 'victim' to describe a person who has survived a traumatic event is disempowering. I feel pretty triggered when I'm referred to as a victim because I feel like being the victim means that ALL...

Same to you. And thanks again. Nighttime is the hardest for me, so I'm getting extra cuddly with the animals tonight, reminding myself of why I'm still here. The self-harm urges are really strong at the moment, but I'm hoping my bedtime medications will kick in before they become overpowering.

Yeah, I was just brainstorming ideas to conquer the readings in my other thread about grad school with PTSD. I have to break the reading up into small, manageable bits, and take notes to retain the information. I actually really like reading and find the material very interesting, but the PTSD...

Great idea, @KwanYingirl, thanks! Right now, I'm focusing on grounding. I'll be able to attempt the readings again once I feel present enough to focus.

Thank you so much for being here, @JEKBreatheandBelieve. If I make it to tomorrow perhaps I will buy myself some more art supplies. That's actually a really good idea because it's a reward for making it through a difficult period and also a motivation to keep making art. Maybe my therapist...

I did some very gentle yoga and also drew a little bit in my sketch pad. I told myself that I had to try a soothing activity for at least 20 minutes before giving into any urges to self harm. This has helped me to not cut or burn myself yet, keeping to the agreement that I made with my...

It's been a while since your original post, but I just wanted to say congratulations on finishing up a graduate degree -- no easy feat, especially with PTSD! Your post gave me some hope as I move into my third year of graduate school and attempt to begin research for a thesis. I am feeling...

Good plan, @Samantha_38. I definitely can't read any more than a chapter at a time right now. My concentration is shot. I have A LOT to read before Friday, which is overwhelming and adding to my anxiety. I think the only way I'll be able to do it is to break it up into sections and tackle...

You know what's really getting to me? The readings. I literally just started classes a week ago and am already overwhelmed by the amount of reading that I have to do, particularly for one of the weekend intensive classes that I'm taking (two Friday evenings and two all day Saturdays and...

Thanks for being here, @Chava, @Sammyiam, and @JEKBreatheandBelieve. It was really comforting to read your messages when I woke up this morning feeling really alone. Animals are just awesome, aren't they, @Chava? My dog is big, too, and I find it especially helpful when I'm really ungrounded...

Thank you so much for checking in with me, @JEKBreatheandBelieve. I'm still struggling to keep myself 'here' and safe, but I've managed to make it through to now without self harming. I will take my bedtime medications soon and hopefully get some sleep and write more tomorrow.

I was going to post a thread about eating disorders and PTSD, but then I saw this. I became anorexic when I was 13 years old. It was triggered by a sexual assault that exacerbated the fear that I already felt from having been abused. I wanted to disappear, so I starved myself. I wanted...

@JEKBreatheandBelieve, the sketch pad idea is a good one! Drawing is very soothing to me and I keep a visual journal that I share with my therapist. I wish I had the energy and motivation to create in this moment, but it's as though my entire body is shutting down and fighting my attempts at...

@Justmehere, thank you for saying I have nothing to be ashamed of. I needed to hear that. Right now, I'm grounding with the dog and cat just by snuggling up close to them. Walking my dog is my usual go-to for grounding when I can, but right now I just need to stay inside and not go out or be...

Today is not a good day. I need help grounding and coming up with non self destructive ways to cope with the debilitating anxiety and depression, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks and dissociation that I am experiencing so much of. All I want right now is to self-harm, either by cutting or...

I would definitely suggest looking into somatic therapies, i.e. Somatic Experiencing, and some forms of expressive therapy (specifically dance and movement). I have done a little bit of both SE and dance and movement therapy (DMT) and it has been helpful. Also, I cannot say enough about trauma...

Yes!!! What you've said really resonates with me, @Cherokee. I have always been a loner and had a nomadic like spirit. I've moved a lot in the last ten years, always searching for "home", but never quite finding it. I haven't experienced a sense of belonging in any one place. It's like I'm...