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An email I wrote that I shouldn't have.

I go into a full mini fight or flight pattern. I want to run but there's nowhere to run with it. My whole body shakes, my heart races, I forget to breathe, and feel like I'm going to pass out also. I'm learning to breathe through it. This is awful. I feel like this now and it is a constant...

I thought the ambien was supposed to aid sleep. Well it's not! I don't think I'll ever sleep well again.

I recently had my Abilify dose increased by 5 MG. I'm having hot flashes where my face gets flushed and hot to the touch with no fever. Anyone out there ever experience this? Does it pass? I'm on day 1 of the new dose. Also I have a lot of energy.

I deserve a stress free tomorrow.

I am feeling very crappy and down.

I am missing my Mom and my dog, Shamu, who both passed away a few months ago.

Happy to be getting the help I need.

I woke up throughout the night.

I am feeling sad, angry, like I'm going to cry, and not in control of my mood swings.

I feel tired even though I slept for 11 hours. And I feel worn out.

When having survived everything else in life is nothing in comparison to going to the dentist. I am terrified of the dentist. I was already on two anti-anxiety meds and had to take a second dose of one once I got to the office.

Everything worked out with the loans there was a major glitch with the system. Misul, I understand completely about studying on your own so it will be easier. That is what I'm doing right now. That's a lot of credits per semester. I will only be a part time student taking 6 credits a...

I am feeling drugged. My medications were increased and they are making me feel drugged and sleepy. I don't think this is going to work out. I can't stay awake let alone drive.

I didn't sleep well is putting it mildly.

So I got into a masters program and have everything I need for it. I even started to read the text books. And now this-the school's website says that my financial aid was rejected. I don't know what they mean by this because two days ago I had the maximum amount of loans available. I...

I am afraid of not being able to go back to school.

I slept through the whole night last night. It is not looking good for tonight though.

Upset and disillusioned.

I woke up from 3 a.m. until 5:30 a.m. My doctor increased one my dosage of Klonopin to see if it will help me sleep better. Only problem is I start night classes at the end of August and cannot drive much less stay awake for a three hour class twice weekly on the increased dose. This is what...

So I was wrong and have been up since 3:30 am. Why is my sleep this sporadic? I take sedating medications at bedtime that used to knock me out cold. I just want to sleep.

I know that I can recite what it is I am supposed to be doing to feel better but I've derailed. And am not doing these things. I would like a little sympathy which she didn't give. And I am forever grateful for that because it made me realize that I am in control and can help my symptoms...

If I could change one thing I would stop trying to forget my past and instead embrace it in a healthy way to move forward.