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Hi everyone. You were all so empathetic and kind when I shared my story last time. Original post here. Historically, I've talked to a lot of friends and family about my situation, gone to groups and therapists, but there's nothing like sharing and hearing stories from people in situations that...

You make a great point. I have no way of knowing how "trained" I am. Even though I recognize a lot of the bigger behaviors, and books like Lundy's have helped identify most of it, I can't see the flowers for the trees for the most part. You're right that they balk once confronted about their...

I'm so sorry River. I don't know what city you live in, but if you message me I'm happy to help look up a shelter for you. You don't deserve any of it. Not over a hot pocket, and not over anything.

This sounds so stressful, and familiar. I have to wonder if incidents like this have decreased for me because my partner and I have become so isolated. Our last "big" incident was when we went out to a bar with some friends in my home state, and he got irritated by something I'm still not...

I'm sure this isn't your first time hearing this, but reading your experiences is so helpful. The simple act of you sharing a real-life example of the abuse makes me feel much less alone. I know Lundy explained this, but the "build up" is a real thing. I've spent too much time trying to...

The list is a good idea. I think it's a good idea for any type of relationship. I think I've told myself that he has changed? But it's unclear if I think that because I've normalized certain behaviors that would have been unacceptable before him, and as far as inexcusable behaviors, I...

You've shared so many parallels that I identify with. War vet (though he sort of fabricated his service, initially - he never saw combat), has crossed lines and put his hands on me but hasn't physically hurt me, I feel we have a good "connection" etc. I too tried the "no hands on me" ultimatum...

I'm currently in a therapy group for women who have been in similar situations, or are in them now. What's weird about the group is that no one directly mentions the abuse they've endured, or what form it takes. Maybe it's because they're not comfortable saying it out loud, but for some reason...

Thank you. I did need to hear this from someone who's gotten out of an abusive situation.

Thank you for the kindness. Yes, I have a couple close friends who know he is abusive. Unfortunately, the last time I worked towards leaving, he utilized one of these friends to convince me to stay because he got her to believe he was trying so hard and loved me so much, etc. I haven't told that...

Thank you for the supportive message. I've been to my local center for domestic violence, but it was kind of a bare-bones experience. The intake counselor was much younger than me, and seemed kind of nervous/unsure about what to say to me. She shared a couple resources (how to get orders of...

I could, but I have a dog. If I left, I'd drive to my home state and my family.

Reading Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That?" is probably the closest I've come to understanding my situation and feeling empowered enough to leave. The problem with finding something empowering when deeply entrenched in an abusive relationship is that you're still in entrenched in that...