Dom Violence Just got the holy hell beat outta me

[River]

This morning my boyfriend hit me, punched me, choked me out and threw me down the stairs. Why? Because I didn’t have a hot pocket ready for him. I can’t stop crying all I want is for him to apologize but no he texted me that I deserved every bit of the beating and wished he could have stayed home to kick my ass more. Of course I have absolutely no one to talk to about it I really just wanna kill my self but I care too much about my family to actually do it. I know you’re all thinking leave this f*cking guy what are you doing and yes I think I should leave as well but I have no where to go. I don’t know what to do. I just wish so bad this wouldn’t have happened. I have bruises around both of my eyes and I don’t know what I’m going to say as to how I got it. Walked into a door? f*ck.

 

[Teasel]

Hi River I'm sorry you'e in this situation. He sounds horrid. I don't know which country you'e in but can you contact a local DV place? See if you can talk to them about possible support / refuge / any other help they can offer?

 

[Gs172003]

Go to a shelter. Your life is at stake.

 

[DharmaGirl]

The first thing I felt was shame, like perhaps I deserved it. I made up stories. Everyone knew because he wasn't careful. I got in trouble because his sister confronted him about it. He told me I told her, but I didn't. My best friend at the time told me I was stupid for not leaving but at first I was afraid, then I got pissed. He had almost killed me. I thought if I was going to die, I would die leaving. He was a major crimes detective so I told him I had pictures and I had gone to the hospital instead of work. Not true, but he believed me. I told him I didn't want to ruin his career, but I wanted him to leave or I would have my mother release the pictures and hospital report to his boss, and to the newspapers. Cowardly man left. I was lucky because someone hired some unsavory men to threaten him. Leave when you are able. Do the best to protect yourself. He will come back wanting your forgiveness, maybe even asking you to marry him. He has isolated you. Reach out to old friends and family. You don't deserve to be beaten.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I spent most of my 20s too scared to leave in multiple domestic violence/abuse scenarios, after having experienced both sexual and physical abuse in my childhood and teens, and was too scared to ask for help in most cases as I felt I'd be viewed as the one causing it all, based on how I'd been treated by parents and authority figures in the past.

I finally met a dear friend who was able to show me I truly deserved much better than the shit I was receiving and that I was continually seeking out and allowing myself to be exposed to.

There weren't any shelters around the area I lived back in those days, and even the cops weren't much help when I finally called for their assistance, unfortunately, but I still called as I was desperate for my life and for someone to help. Please seek help in whatever ways you can. He's proven he's a danger to your overall well-being and to your life.

It very likely won't ever get any better, at least it never did in the scenarios I experienced, although he may say/do some convincing things along the way, the violence just gets worse once that line has been crossed. Been there and barely lived through that. Wishing you a healthy way out and a safe existence.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi @river... You need to go to a shelter, they will take you in, give you a place to rebuild your life again.
It's not love anymore it's violence, control and treating you like shit. You deserve so much more but he isn't the one. Please leave and go to a shelter......

 

[shimmerz]

If there is a crisis team in your area that would be a good start.

 

[LuckiLee]

Either go to the police or a domestic violence shelter. Get out of there ASAP!! Be careful!

 

[courelly]

I'm so sorry River. I don't know what city you live in, but if you message me I'm happy to help look up a shelter for you.

You don't deserve any of it. Not over a hot pocket, and not over anything.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Your boyfriend is a f*cking jerk and the only people he can confront or abuse is women. He’s a coward. You need to find a way to leave. Shelter, police, clergy, crisis team. Anyway you can, you need to get out. He needs to shove that hot pocket up his ass. What a jerk!!!!