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Well... I meditated for quite awhile yesterday. Practiced breathing. I read a little bit. I did my best to relax. I exercised. I tried hard to believe in myself even though no one else cares about me. It was another crappy day. I survived. I'm not sure what to do today. All my plans for...

It's really hard when your emotions come back after being turned off for a long time. It's confusing and awful. Been there, done that. Suicide is not an answer either. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Let the people there help you. Be patient with yourself, THIS STUFF IS...

@DMerish! You crack me up. :laugh: :roflmao: :laugh: and I really needed to laugh today! I thought I was the only one that acted that way. (And I love how you put it into words with hyphens.) Only, well... I don't drink coffee (YUK!) or any caffeine. Oops. When I'm like that it's mania...

I'm grateful my husband is taking the kids out for the day. I can't be around him for another minute. I need the break from him. I'm grateful for some time alone.

I gave myself a break. Yes, things aren't going the way I want them to go. Yes, I didn't get my goals done yesterday. But I am determined to be nice to myself, to be kind, to be understanding.

Haha, @Britt.f7, yeah, well, I was good about the gym on Thursday, but yesterday I didn't do anything. :unsure: It happens. :oops: And Britt, sometimes I have A LOT of trouble just leaving my bedroom. Good for you for trying! It's hard, but every time you succeed, even just the little...

I'm so sorry, @TroyW. What you're going through sounds awful! I'm so sorry everything is so bad right now. But I think it's so good that you see that drugs and alcohol aren't a cure, they just delay the inevitable. This stuff all sucks. Flashbacks suck. But the only way past is through...

Oh @franciemarnie, I'm so sorry you're not sleeping! It's bitterly cold here in the Midwest, am I right? It's pissing me, off, too, because it's interrupting my daily walks outside. The wind whips right through my jacket and I can't get warm even once I'm at home under blankets! And I *LOVE*...

I was kind to myself this morning, got up, showered, that sort of thing with minimal fuss, minimal rushing and minimal pressure. I have a lot I want to get done today, but I'm trying to be kind to myself and just get into a good mindset... I'll do the best I can and be happy with what I'm able...

I'm kinda inspired by @Ms Spock here... I mean, this seems a weird thing to be grateful for, but well, I am, or rather, I hope I will be one day, I'm keeping the faith... I'm grateful I was able to get through yesterday as well as I could. For some stupid reason I decided to write in my Trauma...

Well, I survived yesterday and I did really well, I think, even though it was a seriously crappy day. :sorry: I ended up completing one of the goals I was thinking about, renewing my library card, so that was really good. :joyful: My goal today is to work on getting the house clean. I've...

Well, yesterday was a crappy day, no doubt. :sorry: I'm frustrated with people. :sour: I'm frustrated with myself. :confused: I'm sad, edging towards hopelessness. :unsure: I'm overwhelmed. :eek: @KP the nut, oh, I'm SO sorry! I really hope you feel better soon! :hug: (if you'd like...

Thanks. :) (Sorry if I seriously over shared. Your post was really timely for me... I've been freaking out about this stuff for awhile here, just like what you're saying below... except for the million times healthier stuff... I mean, I'm on the path, I'm hoping I get there someday, but I'm...

I can't say I have hallucinations, but every single little noise of the house settling, every creak, every little noise of people moving around or the wind blowing outside can set me off. I've found white noise and music really help me. I usually have a fan going somewhere and I'm never...

@FindingMyself88, Great job! I know that must have been seriously difficult to address. I agree with @Kas_Can_Fly, do something to reward yourself. Do things to take care of yourself, you deserve it. And this almost goes without saying, but I'll say it anyways... I'm so sorry that happened...

Hmmm. What am I grateful for today? Headphones. I couldn't find mine for a couple minutes, and I was freaking out. Then I found them. And I'm grateful for music, which is why I need the headphones. ;)

Got through the doctor's appointment yesterday. It didn't exactly go smoothly (just stupid paperwork issues that were supposed to have been addressed before I got there) but I survived. I had some other goals for today in mind... but it's turned into kind of a crappy day. So, my new goals are...

Thanks @Definitely..maybe! It was relaxing. It was nice yesterday. Today it's really bright and sunny and 23 degrees F (windchill is 9 degrees F), and while I love the cold, I really need a new winter jacket. I gave my good, warm one to my daughter last year because she wanted to wear it...

Crappy. Sad. Upset. I can feel the anger in there somewhere, but I don't do anger, I'm too afraid to show any anger. Nauseous. Annoyed because I like couldn't figure out how to spell nauseous for the longest f-ing time. Upset. F-ing pissed off that my Flash player decides to crash like...

Um... I worked out, ate breakfast without a big fuss and stupid discussion in my head about whether or not I deserve to eat food... I just ate food (yes, I'm pathetic, but this was a big victory for me, that I didn't overthink it or really think too hard about it at all). Later I went for a...

K and I had a great time yesterday. In the past, I might have worried a lot more and cancelled out of fear of what could go wrong... but I did it! And everything worked out. Yay! :joyful: Today... I've got a doctor's appointment (not therapy, just regular stuff) and I'm just hoping to get...

@intothelight, this really, really spoke to me. I'm constantly bouncing from one edge to the other, back and forth. I'm trying hard to find the balance, and it's *so* difficult. I actually wrote myself a document on my hard drive to remind me that I am worthy and smart and that I deserve good...

What am I grateful for today? My health and the health of my family. Turkey leftovers, YUM! The rainy day outside. Music. :joyful:

Hey @Abstract, You're speaking my alien language here. :alien: I'm sure I don't fully understand everything you're trying to get at, but I certainly relate. Your post made a lot of sense to me. (Should I be worried about that? :confused: (I'm just kidding around. ;))) So much about my...

@Jane.l, I'm so sorry this is causing you so much anxiety! I do relate, however. My therapist cancelled a session at the last minute, just once, and that sent me into a tailspin. Then the next time I just couldn't bring myself to go. It's difficult. Obviously, you have so much going on in...