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Unnecessarily hot. I don’t believe we should go from 55-95 in a week but it is Chicago so...

@shatter eyes I see what you did there lol Spending time in the garden, outside.. Listening to my dogs and their weird noises when they sleep. The smell after it rains.

I ate pizza

I have 15 or 16 tattoos I stopped counting. My most recent one is of Calvin and Hobbes on the top of my arm where Hobbes is happily tackling Calvin. I have birds on my front shoulders that say “mom” and “dad” in the middle of my chest I have a sacred heart tattoo that says “family is forever”...

Update: my nightmares have decreased in intensity. Now they’re just weird and have a lot more snakes? The hell? I’ve also gone from nightmares and barely sleeping to sleeping way too much like 10+ hours and a nap from the meds I believe. See psych next week. There has to be a balance? But I am...

you pushed me off the deep end and told me to work on this process (mindfulness without dissociation) that I told you I didn’t understand and was incredibly difficult and then seemed genuinely surprised when I had a keepin it real moment w you this week about everything.

@barefoot i actually did have a sleep study done and I don’t have sleep apnea which everyone was surprised apparently lol. I have been stressing out bc I have 2 court cases that should be coming to a conclusion soon and they are regarding my injury and being attacked at work which just brought...

@barefoot i appreciate the feedback and skepticism. I also am skeptical of meds and I’m not happy about it. I keep getting told I’m a “difficult case” or “maybe we need to find something to take the edge off while you work through this”. Then I also get told I’m not ready to work through...

I tried GoodRx and it actually didn’t save any money for me plus my pharmacy wouldn’t take it for that med. I looked at other pharmacies and it was the same price as the cash price. I only got 15 pills bc I see my psych doctor again soon. I’ve been on it 3 days and still having nightmares but I...

Just the 2mg tabs. It’s 50 dollars so I’m skeptical I guess.

@EveHarrington my doctor prescribed prozasin today for me...is it worth it? Apparently my insurance doesn’t cover it. Also have me seroquel. Just keep piling the meds on lol

I have not, is that sleeping drug? I’m in regular talk therapy now. I started EMDR and I was way too uncomfortable. I guess I’m not there yet, which sucks. Thank you, appreciate your kindness.

I’ve been having bad nightmares for the past week and a half. They’ve escalated from things just mildly uncomfortable to people killing me. Like the other night my therapist came up behind me and stabbed me in the chest and whispered “is this what you wanted?”. Needless to say I was confused...

I actually just heard that song today and haven’t in years! And then The titanic song was on right after...oh the feels.

For a long time I thought about being a meteorologist and took some classes but then well math happened. I wanted to understand weather so I could predict my fear and not have that bad thing ever happen to me or anyone else again. It’s been 28 years almost since the EF5 tornado but I remember...

Under water

Yeah they’re not...always tactful. The doctor today said the anesthesia could have caused an increase in symptoms of depression. However my therapist and family also have said I’ve been under a severe amount of stress for the last year and a half and they don’t know how I’m functioning so it...

I see the surgeon tomorrow and after I rage quit therapy and my brother and friend yelled at me they talked to my therapist and are going to try to go to a session w me. I slept most of the day. My brother mentioned it could be the Vicodin too bc I don’t tolerate pain meds well even if I need...

I had surgery on my arm last Thursday in 3 places and I was anxious before surgery, this is still from the work comp injury over a year and a half ago now. I know anesthesia has messed w me a bit before but all week I’ve felt super hopeless and depressed. I’m supposed to be resting and...

Today is my birthday and I actually allowed myself to have a good day. Which I usually hate my birthday and there’s a lot of negative thoughts and memories tied to it. So maybe a small step in the right direction. Hope everyone has a good day today.

@whiteraven i had a disc replaced in my cervical spine last year from this injury and prior to that just a gallbladder removal. I know mood can affect things. I didn’t prep very well for that before my spine surgery bc I was so scared. My mom had brain surgery and never recovered from it so that...

It’s just been a year of non stop crap not to mention the last few weeks. I was feeling comfortably numb and now the depression is creeping back. It seems I go from being totally numb to intense feelings. I feel I complain a lot here, sorry for that.

So I’m sure I’m posting this in the wrong category again but here it goes... I followed up w an orthopedic doctor today at the request of my neurosurgeon bc I’m still having symptoms from my work injury. And they gave me a cortisone shot in the shoulder (cortisone shots hurt don’t let anyone...

I’m very sorry you’re in this place and hurting so much. The hospital can seem scary bc of the stigma associated and bc of the unknown but I can assure you the people are there to help you. They are prepared to see you through your worst and help you get back on your feet. This isn’t your fault...

I also watch horror movies but more specifically paranormal movies like the conjuring. I think w horror for me it is bc typically the good guys prevail in the end in some way and that’s why I’m drawn to it. I can’t watch movies like Saw or anything though, that’s too much. But can read about...