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ive been trying to figure that out, and honestly the only time i'm not completely paranoid is when i'm at a convention or in a big city. I'm not sure why, but i seem more content knowing i'm hundreds of miles away from the physical people who hurt me, doing things they never would admit are fun...

i don't know, i have to learn a lot more. i just wish i knew how to make it stop. because it's just showing that most of my personality was created by my abuse. and i'm not who i am, i'm a product of my mental reaction to years of abuse and suppression.

again. i am always hyper vigilant. the compulsive behavior addition to this post was an after thought that i noticed i was doing today.

I'm almost always hyper vigilant though. so anything else is something else.

I'm really new to understanding what is going on with me. i didn't know it was called hyper vigilance. i'm like that almost 24/7, even at home. i think i just figured out why i'm so stressed and sick... does anyone know ways to help? I also feel guilty for what happened to me, like i caused it...

i daze off and get a really angry look on my face. really intense. usually i can pull myself out of it, but it lingers for a while and i'm a little testy for a bit. the worse ones i start to shake, feel really cold and sick, then cry. i had one in an english class once and had to lock myself in...

thank you everyone. thank you so much

hi, the only thing that kept me together for a while was acting like i didn't need deep emotions. I've grown past that for the most part, only because i had repressed memories that surfaced and have forced me into a constant state of anxiety and depression. i shake a lot, i grind my teeth a...