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Oh @Hojay - if I could like that a million times I would! My vet told me that he could see i had ad precious little TLC in my life and he was going to shower me with love and affection. Hah! Isolation, verbal lashing out and threats of physical violence don't square with my idea of love and...

Chiseled abs and movie star looks. Sigh!

No one is questioning your support or your level of commitment. But clearly you did have an expectation in return - even if it was only that he would follow the advice of his treating health professional and TRY to "get better". Our comments are cold because we face the harsh reality daily -...

Ha - mine told me in the early stages of our relationship that if we ever had an issue that we needed to talk about that we would sit together on the same lounge and hold hands and look into each others eyes while we discussed it. I CANNOT believe that I fell for that! :rolleyes: Last night I...

He's literally fighting for his life right now. I wouldn't expect him to have any energy left to spare on you. This can be the case longterm with PTSD. It can be very hard to deal with as a partner - especially when you go through a crisis like a miscarriage and he STILL doesn't have any...

I favour the 'say nothing' approach when anything I say will be wrong. It worked with my combat vet dad when I was a kid. My combat vet partner on the other hand will yell "Speak!" at me. So silence is not really an option. Sigh! Nothing helpful to add - just wanted to let you know you...

I guess "untreated" and "not adequately treated" get you to the same place - up shit creek without a paddle.

Mine was the bloody Company Sergeant Major... Nuff said.

@Snowflakes - I've noticed my vet takes at least 10 minutes from harmless incident to crazy reaction. What the hell goes on in his head in that timeframe must be one hell of a shitstorm. @leehalf - it's no coincidence that for the first time in my life I'm on anti-anxiety / antidepressants!

All the freaking time. I have NO idea why he does it. TBH I'm over him picking and pushing until he finally gets a reaction and then blaming me for the reaction.

Google trauma bonding. And co-dependency. And then remind yourself that if nothing changes then nothing changes. So, if she is happy with who she is then nothing is going to change. Do you really want this for the rest of your life?

Um... no. Why would anyone care? It's our choice. I'm a supporter of a combat vet. I know exactly how painful it is when he suddenly is emotionally numb or lashes out at me. I get that. But does anyone else care how much pain he causes me? Nope. Who would? My family would rather I left...

My vet will often ask me if something he is experiencing is normal. Usually I say "no, sweetheart. Most people do not have to suffer that."

As my old man (combat vet) used to say "Whoever told you life was going to be fair?" My partner is also a combat vet. He too was given questionable orders. He argued with his CO trying to change the orders. He considered trying to arrest his CO to prevent the orders being carried out. He...

@Frieda - do you know this at the time? Or are you convinced at the time that it is him in the wrong? My vet hardly ever acknowledges that HE is reacting rather than me being a bitch... Sigh!

Just out of curiousity... you're ok eating pigs? But not cows? You do know pigs are not vegetables, right? ;):)

Be very careful about having children with a combat veteran with untreated PTSD. I say that as the child of a combat veteran with untreated PTSD (and the partner of a combat veteran with treated PTSD.) Feel free to PM if you would like.

Right-oh. Here you go. You should never show him any negative emotions. Never ever show him that you have any wants or needs in the relationship. Be available whenever he wants you to spend time with him or do chores for him, but never ever complain or ask him where he is or was when he...

First and foremost - you cannot MAKE another human being happy. Each person's happiness is on them. Second - do you have evidence other than what he has told you that he served? Sadly, there are men out there who pretend to be veterans and use that as an excuse for their player behaviour...

I've spent almost 5 years feeling like we never resolve anything, we have the same fights over and over, we never talk about the underlying issues etc. But I had a major breakthrough recently: "Stop hoping for a better past." I realised that on some level I thought that if I understood better...

@Freida - thank you for the insight. I always thought my vet was impatient with "whining" because of what he had been through. You've helped me realise that perhaps for him its not in the past - its what he is going through - present tense. Hugs if you accept them.

Sigh! I wish my vet was well enough for me to ever forget about his PTSD. In my world, 24hrs without an "incident" is unusual enough to be considered a "good streak"...

Its all a bit vague in our jurisdiction. We are trying to work with some people who are involved with the accreditation to find out what it entails.

We have been looking at getting our pup accredited as a service dog. My vet takes her most places anyway, but it would be nice to know that she could go with him.

When my vet came home from Afghanistan to find his wife of 20 years had left him - and taken all the money he had sent home - he "hit the track". He lived out of his car, camping wherever he could, moving on when he wanted to or was made to. But first, he went to the pound and got a dog that...