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For me I think this would be a natural response too and can relate so much to what you say about how about the way you learned as a child that you did have to depend on yourself. I also had a pretty chaotic home life where things like meals were not guaranteed and did learn very much that it was...

I definitely struggle with retaining information at the moment. I even played a memory game with my seven year old this week and could not even remember the card which had been turned over straight after she had had her turn, which highlighted it to me even more how bad it is at the moment, as...

I hope you do not mind me posting again but I have been thinking a lot about your comment about how you trusted all the wrong people. I suspect the way you feel about this must have such a massive impact on how you are all feeling but really wanted to say so much that it is not your fault that...

I am also not surprised that this is so hard for your partner and you and your children. Taking it a bit at a time and taking comfort from the fact that you have been able to pull together for your children and bring this cycle to an end I hope will bring you some comfort, and really hope your...

I had misunderstood about that too and read it that you had known more fully about the allegations before and am so sorry that it has all had to come out into the light in this way. Again I think the way you have been with your daughters has been so good and wish you all well in your journey...

I don't think it sounds callous and can totally understand why you would feel like that. I also do not think it excuses her behaviour but just think it may explain some of what may be behind it and really do hope with it all having to come out that it can make it possible for her to be able to...

I just hope that through all this that everything can come out into the light for all involved. I do suspect that even though she may be in denial herself that under it all would be so much the part which would want to have a voice and allow her to protect not only the children she works for but...

I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to your daughters and so glad that they are able to be so listened to and protected, as I know this is so important and has such a massive effect on the ongoing consequences of abuse such as this. Though I know it is a different note to the replies...

I am so sorry to hear that you feel like a guilty child, and personally think that yes getting away from the silence is a very legitimate reason for sharing with your friend. I agree that it is like a skeleton in the closet and know for myself that when I have shut it up and tried to keep it in...

Personally I have often found it very hard when I have been going through things and been in a place where I wanted and needed support. I even feel guilty for seeing my therapist at times, but have really been trying to learn that actually there are times when I do have these needs and having a...

I have still been reading your thread and am glad you are going to do something for you today. Reading your comments about anger made me think about something a very good friend, who is also a qualified psychiatric nurse told me about anger, which is that it is a secondary emotion which has...

@Yugogypsy I am not totally certain what you are saying, but think you are referring to when I said about how it is now it is no longer the abuser causing the damage but me because of the negative self attitudes we have taken on because of the abuse. @crazy8 wrote: This was talking about the...

I am so sorry you are feeling as you do and do glad you have felt able to post on this forum, as there are so many supportive people on here and you do deserve the support so much. I agree with what @franciemarnie has said that your job right now is to be able to look after you. You deserve...

I am definitely still on the journey of working it all out, but know that for me at least starting to want to make those choices and also wanting to learn to be able to believe and accept the truth which I know God says about me is a very important part of it and a journey I am still on. For...

I have still been reading your thread and am so sorry that you really wanted to make yourself suffer from this. I really hope that you are able to find some comfort to really give to yourself in this time as I know it can be so hard. I know for myself that when I feel like that and want to make...

@Marf That is so like me too being so unaccepting of myself when I could never look at another child, or even another adult who has been through the similar things in the same way. One of my therapists used to try and get me to be in touch with my compassionate self towards myself too, but when...

That is so much what I feel like too. I have to not fall apart for my little people and find it so hard already. I know we have to take it a bit at a time as we can deal with it and also hold on to all the things we do have now and know for myself that I do have to find a balance and find that...

Thank you all so much for your support. I find it so hard to allow myself to have any break and your support and understanding is so helpful to me. @Marf thank you for what you said about about letting all the negative emotions out. I know it is something I do find so hard and even not hating...

Thank you so much for your replies. It helps so much to have people who really can understand so much and I appreciate it so much. @digger1 reminding me to separate out and recognise that the blessings I have now don't change the things which happened in the past helps so much. So often I just...

The last couple of weeks has been so hard for me with seeing family and everything, including my dad and step dad, as I knew it was better to see them and deal with the internal aftermath than it would have been to confront anything at the moment, but now everyone has gone home I am just feeling...

Sorry to hear you have had such a difficult Christmas. I am glad you are able to be honest with your therapist and Dr's and know that is so important and that as you do keep taking those small steps, which I know for me can sometimes be a minute at a time, that you will gradually be able to...

You have done so well. I really hope you are also able to feed into those parts inside which feel freaked for disobeying him that you are so safe now and are able to protect yourself and that this is such a good thing and I hope you can feel comforted from that and really begin to feel safe in...

@macca that is something I have looked up before and from what I read I am pretty sure that it just varies a lot from person to person. Some people have more pain, some bleed and some don't, and it does not seem to correlate with other things. It was a while ago when I looked it up and I don't...

I'm so sorry that you don't have anyone who can be with you right now and know it must be so hard to think about talking to your therapist but do really feel this is important. I know she does have other clients and has boundaries, but if you have her email address and she is happy for you to...

I have just read your latest posts and am so sorry to hear the way he has treated you. I know it must be very hard but really do hope you are able to talk to your therapist about all this. She is safe and I know will want to be able to help you to come to terms with this and take back the...