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I have written on here several times. I guess some of you can relate to this.I know some of this could be his Alcoholism or some could be his ptsd. But with my Vet our relationship has changed in the last 8 mos or more I think because we have had some conflicting discussions not really arguments...

I am dating an Alcoholic that has been sober 30 years after going to AA but he still has so many issues. He started drinking really in Vietnam at 18 until he was 41. After reading someone's post on here I started going to Al-Anon. I think Al-Anon would be something you might really find helpful...

I get so frustrated when my Vet gets depressed and it seems like nothing I say or do can make it better. I have posted on here several times before. I usually come here instead of the Al-Anon board because I think all of you probably understand the 'whole' of him better because of the PTSD. He...

Give her a break! Her intentions were good and she has some valid points. No, not any advice anyone says is going to apply to everyone. Hell when you post something on here how can you possibly explain the complexities of your Vet in a few paragraphs. So how can anyone expect very good advice...

Yes, I am still with him. We have been 'dating' for over 1 1/2 yrs now but I have had to accept the 'limits' he has put on our relationship and realize that I cannot change him. The Al-Anon has really helped me to try and find some serenity and work on myself and not react at some of the things...

"you wanted to be his wife in spite of these issues"? I don't want to be harsh but take your time and think this out. I just got a divorce after 30 yrs of marriage not to someone with ptsd. I am dating someone now with ptsd. My point is marriage is tough anyway with anyone without bringing...

Thunderstorm, You have grown a lot to realize your happiness doesn't depend on him. There is a plaque hanging in our Al-Anon room that states 'The key to my happiness is not found in someone else's pocket". It is taking me a while for me to really learn this but I am working on it. It seems...

Yes, I have definitely learned a lot from being on this forum that explains his behavior. This week we have decided to take a break from each other. We haven't talked at all. He says he doesn't want to end it. But his actions to me seem other wise. Sometimes, well it seems like lately a lot of...

From what my experience has been so far with my Vet with ptsd I know when he is depressed and stressed he can say some things that are hurtful and do not make any sense to me. I will have to ask him again what he meant to get things clarified. Sometimes he just doesn't verbalize it in a good way...

I think I am going to go to some of the AA open meetings. Like I said they seemed more friendly and more active group.

OK My Vet and I have had a few what I call breakups (he says they weren't really) over the past 1 1/2 yrs. So each time I go around my apt and put up all the reminders of him. He made a country album in the 80's--in my closet, Bath and Body works Lotions in the cabinet, pictures in the drawers...

I think what you said focus on your own goals and what you want to have done. It sounds like no matter what you do he is going to complain about something. He is probably just taking out his frustrations on you. Like a counselor told my sister in marriage counseling once you are the 'safe...

If you ever want to try it again they have a great online forum alanon activeboard. They have online meetings and chat which is nice. I am going to try the first online meeting tonight.

I am going to still go but I expected more talking afterwards with the people that were there. Even the lady that I talked to didn't say anything like if you ever need to talk to me again I am here etc.. or call me.... My first meeting I went in the AA room by mistake. I hadn't sat down for 2...

My ex was so negative I swear I would never ask him how he was feeling because I knew he would always bitch about something!! LOL

Lmm, I'm just thinking whatever is going on in his life that maybe he feels like it is out of control so he likes to control everything else. Again, I would think with something like the flowers you just plant them and that's it. Am I oversimplifying it by saying if he doesn't like it then just...

I am sure I am older than you and my guy is a Vietnam Vet but he is so negative it drives me crazy. I went through a divorce 1 1/2 yrs ago so I am not really setting goals for myself except just keeping in the 'right' direction. But I try to work at keeping a positive attitude. But he tends to...

I have posted here several times before. My relationship is complex with my Vet but I thought I could talk after my Al-Anon meeting to someone about a recent issue but something she said was very upsetting. In about 20 min. it is hard to explain a situation to someone. There is a lot going on in...

I know calling a black person the N word seems like it would make a person a racist but in his case I have talked to him and I am not really sure it is the case. For example, last Halloween in our somewhat smaller town we had news that the KKK was going to show up somewhere downtown so parents...

Here I am on the roller coaster again!! After I wrote this I saw him tonight and he was more affectionate than he has been in a long time. It was nice but I try to brace myself that it may not last and enjoy it while he is feeling that way. Wow, what a ride!!! It's difficult.

I just go to the point I had to have some other support group. The depression of my Vet was getting me down too much. So I think the Al-Anon will help with that.

'buttocks'??? Are we not allowed to say A$$ on here??? I can slip and say some cuss words I guess I need to watch it!! LOL

If you consider yourself a 'workaholic' maybe going to Al-anon meetings would help you or AA. I started going because my ex was a workaholic that had an Alcoholic father. He really was an Alcoholic that didn't drink. Plus my vet is a recovering Alcoholic I have been dealing with so much anger...

My guy is 71 yeah quite the age difference!! LOL But when I first started reading the posts on here sh*t it all sounds the same no matter what their age is. Some guys run off physically. My guy 'runs' off even though I am sitting in the same room with him. It is such an eye opener but...

Yes, you need to take care of yourself first but I can understand when you love someone it is hard to let them go. I have a very hard time with someone that says "Run and never look back". I am 55 yrs old and I am sure much older than most of you. Not that that really makes a difference but In...