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Makes sense - betrayal by those whom we trust most vs external or environmental influences.

"They" say we repeat behavioral patterns until it's cured, until you learn that it isnt working. That goes for choosing mates, too. Important insights here, perhaps, in the fact that you're asking this question.

Good point, recovery can be way different re: same person, multiple traumas. Recovering from the trauma of a head-on collision or 9.0 earthquake was a walk in the (terrorizing, fear-filled) park vs years of trying to quiet cptsd from a f*d up childhood. And perhaps we have a choice in how much...

@Freedomfighter me, too. For me, it's the final frontier.

That is one thing that confuses me because Ive read that amnesia is not a requirement of DID - though most common.

Read up.on Internal Family Systems Dealing with similar fuzzyness.

Thanks, :-) I understand it doesnt go away; I want it all to turn into celery so it can then be tucked away. Like processed cheese. I dunno. It is hard to be objective and see growth. My spouse tells me I am stronger now, after plodding thru the muck with tenacity. It seems like I'm wading...

>>Siggghhh<<...this is all rather abstract and difficult to break down for me. I have also been doing inner child work and parts work and while the focus seems to be making them feel better, I am not, and in some cases feel worse.

I have uncovered forgotten memories. I have written about them and talked about them. But that hasn't taken away their power. And I still react sideways to a lot of things. I know there is somatic work to do and so on. But once you have written, read it out loud and talked about it, but it's...

I am not sure that I have a clear understanding of what it means to "process" trauma. There is acknowledgement that something happened. Coming to terms with how it has impacted you. Perhaps sharing the story makes it less impactful by releasing the burden. Maybe support from a therapist...

I appreciate this response, @barefoot You ask many good questions and make many good points that I will consider as I take time to look at all of this. She and I have come a long way over the years, however, having someone offer and then redact in a recurring way (it is in our history) can be...

Yes, exactly. Thank you. I will mull on this for a while.

I do not know about her supervision processes. I do appreciate what you are saying about staying in and negotiating, and using the noise to work past tolerating triggering sounds. Even if I don't like it! I was shocked to get a call from her today. She admitted that she "should have been more...

Both? Her trauma skills.rock but she falls.down with trust and.consistency. Do I.keep working with her with the knowledge.that she.comes up short in these areas on a regular basis or quit because it causes me so.much freaking stress? To.my credit, I do call her out on her behavior. And then we...

@NoWhereKnowWhere thanks for your kind words. It is true that much of the work is credit to me and I need to realize that. @qwyoey I.dont want to focus on the details.of what happened on this post. Believe me, she knows, and I cut and pasted into my previous email her words about keeping him...

I have presented my frustration in email.and she blamed it on my issues rather than her poor.communication and disregard of our previously agreed upon rules for the space being off limits. If this were an isolated incident it would be easier to get past. Thank you for your suggestion. Im still...

Yes..Months ago she said she implemented a system so he would not come around at all while in session. It is triggering for me. Now she changed the rules to he only comes to get tools. And never talked to me about ilsuch a change. And there was a bunch of noise last week to which she replied...

Thanks. Fortunately, it is not a confidentiality issue.

I have had a long run with my T and it has been very enlightening, I've learned a lot and she managed to chink away at my defenses slowly and gradually until we revealed some big traumas and she has touched into places no other therapists has come close to. I would say she has amazing skills as...

I used to be married to a German and learned the joys of red cabbage. It is especially good with mashed potatoes. I just learned to make a delicious version from scratch rather than buy it in a jar. My mom quit doing holidays when I was in my 20s. Then on, I hosted fun potlucks with friends...

I was in Tokyo when the Fukishima earthquake happened. I thought I was going to die. I was trapped at the airport for a hellish 24 hours, after evacuation onto the tarmac after the first major quake, then trying to sleep on the floor thru numerous aftershocks. So, yes, I understand your fear...

Top priority today. Found a box of tissues in the meantime. Scooooorrre! Yes, sounds glamorous, but place is actually small, so 4 small bathrooms that combined would make 1 nice, big one.

We are out of toilet paper in 3 out of 4 bathrooms. We have both been out numerous times but keep forgetting. This leads to running upstairs to the only toilet with paper. We used all of the paper napkins as substitute and only have paper towels otherwise. This means I will leave the house...

Would it be helpful if your spouse put a hand on your shoulder and calmly stated, "Im here for you, I love you and I dont want to hurt you"? Or does ge lose it, too? Is there a way to diffuse the pain which may be masked by anger? Sometimes it seems impossible to objectively accept anything...

My spouse and I can both have short tempers and I hate it, too. I think it is a lot better in recent years because I let a lot of things go. It feels like she is trying to pick a fight sometimes and I refuse to bite but even that leaves my stomach in knots. I think one problem is my parents...