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Search results

  1. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I used to think that I deserved better in life until I was arrested. Now, I don’t think I do. It’s so weird...I’ve never felt like this before and so many bad things have happened it is ridiculous. I can’t stop the feelings. I wish they were gone
  2. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    Well, my ex used to say you have to break a person down and build them back up- like the military. He broke me down, but didn’t build me back up. I am so tired of the reject from everyone and the attention from people I don’t want. What the hell is wrong with me????
  3. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    Yes, still seeing someone. And still miserable in life. I will never be content. I will never be happy. I used to be happy all the time. I used to be happy!!! Reality sucks! It all sucks
  4. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I feel like the entire world lied to me. They told me things would get better, but they haven’t. When your whole marriage was a lie, and no one believed you and you were arrested, it’s hard to stand up for yourself. He lied about so many things. He set me up because I was a nice person, now I’m...
  5. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    It’s really hard to be easy on yourself when you know that you are not ok and you just need to move on. I am a “nice” person. I was manipulated and screwed over so bad and then babied by others. My dreams all went to hell. I used to feel so good about myself, now, if I do stick up for myself I...
  6. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    All of you n here that have made changes in your life just completely amaze me. Just astounding! There are so many situations that are worse than mine, but you make it through. I can’t take the pressure of this anymore. Being played by dudes and lied to. I am so not happy, and every time I try...
  7. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I used to be such a strong person with a good heart and good intentions. Now, I am so tired, defeated and overwhelmed. I wish the depression and weirdness would go away. I wish my life was sooo different. This is just insane. I bought so much stuff. I did so many crazy things that it is just not...
  8. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I just can’t take the confusion anymore. That all on top of life in general. How is it possible to not know who you are anymore? To lose your identity???? I was never a trouble maker. I never did bad stupid things. I just can’t handle the stress of being charged with domestic violence and trying...
  9. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I’m so scared of everything. I hate feeling this way. I feel this way because everything is off. I was set up and not smart enough to see it. My emotions are all over the place. Nothing worked out, and I keep digging myself into a bigger and bigger hole that I can’t get out of.
  10. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I’m not crazy like he said. I’m really not. I can’t take this anymore. I really paid the mortgage, the car, everything. I did so much. I was at that house for a long time. It was my house too. I really hope I don’t keep attracting bad men because I can’t take it anymore. I’m so tired. I am...
  11. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I am scared. I hate being scared. I hate being like this. I just want out, that’s all I want. I am tired. I am soooo tired. He manipulated me and lied about everything. He lied. I didn’t save the evidence. I didn’t save anything. I used to feel so good about myself, now I feel like crap. I want...
  12. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I can’t handle the emotional pain anymore! The pain of everything! I am overwhelmed with emotion and people and stuff and life and I can’t take it anymore! This is why I like being alone and hate it at the same time. How is that even possible! Everything in my mind is a cluster! And I can’t...
  13. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    Now my best friend isn’t talking to me because I don’t have romantic feelings for him. This is just all crazy! I am so tired of it. And dumped by the one guy I really liked. All of this stuff is so crazy. I really can’t take it anymore. My life was perfect- no drama or anything before all of...
  14. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    My life is literally falling apart. I was set up, mentally struggling....really bad with it, and I cannot pull myself together. It’s just too much. I can’t believe this is all happening. Just falling apart. The headaches, stress, everything is awful. I can’t take it anymore. I am literally a...
  15. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I know that everyone says it will get better, but this is tough. I feel absolutely horrible today. I am tired, crying and so depressed. I just wish things were so different. I just don’t know what to do. The stress in my body right now is awful. I feel like I was hit by a bus. I am so ready for...
  16. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    And how are those of you that have had your life fall apart not angry?
  17. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    Reality, even though it makes me depressed. I never should have talked to the psychics. I don’t understand what is happening other than trauma. I get that my ex was a narcissist, and that I am naive, but this is just the worst feeling in the world. And knowing my life will never be the same? And...
  18. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    So, the meditation helps sometimes. I use it to focus on my breath. Damn, I just can’t believe I am in this situation because my ex set me up. ??‍♀️?
  19. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I truly apologize. My anxiety is so bad. I’ve had this issue before - in therapy, through all of this. And my self esteem is just super low I didn’t say no one’s did, just that the breakdown makes more sense to me. But the anxiety and feeling like I am on speed is awful...I do meditate and try...
  20. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    And, honestly, I am scared that the same thing will happen to me again. I know it’s crazy, but damn...being arrested after someone pulls a gun on you and lied about it? I’m so sorry to complain about it, but I FEAR it
  21. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    Honestly, joelittle’s post helped. Most of the other suggestions haven’t. Sorry.
  22. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    So, how do you make the pain go away, then?
  23. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    I want to be a supervisor at work. I want friends, a house, a significant other. The thing that sucks the most is I am alone and I don’t want to be alone. I want a meaningful relationship, but I will never have it again. It always feels wrong when they stay, and right when they leave. So messed...
  24. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    We definitely talk about distractions, more so because if I forces on the issue (criminal charges, seeing who I really am - a nerd, not good enough), then I am constantly angry and depressed. But if I accept these things, I am still unhappy, but I move forward, but am overwhelmed. I’m so sorry...
  25. AnnieMae

    My diary of random thoughts

    Yes, she is. I also spent a lot of time with another therapist that specializes in trauma and anxiety, and he tried to reel me that I had ADHD because I looked at my purse when he grabbed it. He said that was not normal. It has been 6 years and I focusing on pain and talking and journaling about...
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