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I am in the same situation. I wanted to modify my original answer: 1) no drama filled people - they need a mommy and/or a Parole officer - neither of which I am. One of my big "defense mechanisms" (see Janet Greeson's book "It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you" for List of some...

I think we have all made that vow and then broken it! Lmfao. What I have learned is to date “safe” people. If a guy wants to invite me up to his apartment too soon - nope! Scratching you off my list at least as a romantic partner. By having intense emotional flashbacks for the past 1 1/2 I...

I wanted to ask everyone what techniques they use to connect with their body/feelings? for me being seated is good but being in bed laying down flat really works! Most of my feelings and somatics are at a volume of about a 1 and my busy day of running keeps these feelings at a distance. I...

Great! I had a flashback about a year ago and was surprised that inside was a suicid urge. I waited it out and the next day I felt incredible. I think when I feel suicidal that is the time when you need to journal to se what it beneath it. I personally believe that abusers are “clever...

I would encourage you to go. After 34 years after I lost a boy I loved i went to his grave. I didn’t have any feelings while there I was just shocked. When I drove 3 hours home I started to cry like I’ve never cried before! For about an hour I physically cried using every part of my body - I...

Thank you both. Do either of you get “dual flashbacks” at one time so for example, a somatic (feeling) flashback and a “picture” at the same time? Mostly I have singular flashbacks so only a picture or only a somatic. I had only 1 time when I experienced dual flashback symptoms at one time. I...

I have been having “somatic flashbacks” for about 8 months now and I seem to be stuck in the same place “experiencing” the same set of somatics again and again and again! when will they stop!? I think they are increasing in intensity but very slowly. Shouldn’t they be about to “burn off/go...

Wow!!! I am giving you a standing ovation!!!!! Yes it is time that we as survivors stop being bullied by “the rapists” that try to “help” us! By telling us lies such as: your growth is stuck at whatever age you were molested at. It’s insulting and simple untrue! (You can see my diary for an...

ye dove noticed this about myself. What I’ve come to notice is that when I am in bed at night or sitting on the sofa or even in a chair I try to relax and connect with my body. During the day when life is busy it is easy for me to “ignore” my judy but at night when it is quiet it is easier to...

Omg! Us? So basically he abused you and “she” covered it up! I am so sorry for you! You are strong and are still here!! I have begun to realize that my grandfather encouraged his 2 sons to abuse me and some of his male friends!! What the hell is wrong with people?

It is a unpublished song by Metallica and he is saying that he has lost his connection to himself and/or the death of his lover. The song lyric was “widower of one” I changed it to widow because I am a woman. I agree. I had emotional fallout and it was painful but it definitely helped.

i agree! I think that in this very “negative world” stuff like this is disbelieved. I personally find it fascinating and helpful.

Me too! I call them “re-rememories” and I will write them down one right after another after another - back to back to back so that I can “see“ the progression. Many had nothing to do with being sexually abused as a kid. Some end with me Remebering a “non-sexual trauma”. For example, Mike c. I...

I am glad this topic was brought up. About 2 weeks ago for some odd reason I did a google search about an ex boyfriend of mine from 35 years ago and he died in August 2019. I keep a diary and searched his name and sure enough may 2019 his name came up AND my belief that he was gay. Sure enough...

As an aside, I will have a cluster of memories that I have not had in 30 years. Right now I was thinking about my college friend s and how I had a crush on his brother. S married an ex roommate of mine T and are very happy. I see myself talking to his brother when suddenly an old painful memory...

Aren’t dropping me?

I had a similar experience during a “flashback (FB) I heard the word “veterinarian” I was like ok I will write it down and sure enough months later I realized that that is what my grandfather would tell me to pacify me and lure me. I agree when you say you have got to Figure out what was going...

I wanted to make some key points about maladaptive fantasies: 1) it never occurred during the day only at night. 2) I believe that when I sit or get into bed I “connect”- aka my mind and body become one. I think maladaptive daydreaming is a fun way to “block” whatever is coming up. So it is a...

I have been having the same “somatic Fb” for about a year now. It is always the same symptoms. During the day today I had a memory about the 1 week in September (sophomore year) the most popular guy in school liked me. Is this “memory about him” a reference to the date that the “FB somatic” took...

? What do you mean? I am curious if you want to discuss.

TODAY is the future!

wow! That’s impressive. Speaking of pulling out - one night I was in bed having my typical “somatics” before bed when I don’t know what I did but I stopped it!! Wow!

Thank you for supporting me! I really appreciate the kind words of support. I think we’ve all experienced so much negative that Hearing kind words is so much more warming to us/me!!

Aw!! Deanna I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Fortunately, I am not a real widow - it is from an unpublished Metallica song meaning “the death of your inner self” due to abuse. I really identify with what James was saying that I use it as my moniker on many forums. It seems to sum up the way...

Thank you for saying that!! I told her the same thing! Basically I have been believing that you were my best friend and that wasn’t the case. Omg the time I wasted on her makes me want to barf!! Yes new friends! I knew for a very long time she was lying to me. Finally about 2 years ago I started...