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It's working the opposite for me. For years I only had terrifying feelings to go on with a few partial memories. I started having flashbacks in my early 20's. I wrote them off to life with the crazies. Blissfully unaware. I felt my way through it. Many memories didn't make sense. I had enough to...

The very few times I've seen my older male sibling HE looks like he's about to throw up at the sight of me. He should. He's an idiot! :) I personally believe the derelicts who gang raped me didn't humiliate me at all. Oh hell no. They humiliated themselves and are too stupid to understand the...

I can see clearly now. ~Nash

No. I understand it completely. I'm keenly aware of the many dynamics of dysfunction. I'm aware if I had been born into a healthy family I wouldn't have been abused. My unwillingness to participate in the "family tradition" caused my abuse.

Sad,gloomy and depressed sound worse. ;):whistling:

@Pencil and KCF How many lives do you have? :)

It's taken me many years as well. Our foster care is overloaded and the police are rarely willing to take on older cases. Pedophiles roam freely. The ripple effect is sad for future generations. Society wants to hush survivors and survivors are afraid of being shunned. Very sad.

Yes! Scared sh!tless of having a heart attack. Why can't you accept I'm happy? C'mon..give me a better reason than the one you stated. Cute comment about biting. I resolved my need to bite a very long time ago. ;) My concern is for the general public. You have touchy feely,handzee and full on...

Yes! We agree. That's what I'm talking about! This isn't my first journey within. I have processed trauma before. These new memories will release a greater sense of freedom. I have hang ups I now understand. It can only get better from here. I don't want to have a heart attack in the process!

@Hashi Thank you for asking! PTS is a symptom of trauma. It's what happened to us. I refuse to allow it to define my life. You can still be happy despite horrific memories. I'm in therapy to resolve my flashbacks and body memories. As I should be. I'm going to do it with a smile on my face and...

Ignorance is believing you aren't already free.

@arfie I strive for the same. We do what we can. :) My T gave me two words to ponder for our next session. Change and healing. I want to volunteer my time in an area I'm most passionate. It's hard to choose one!

@Meadowsweet Thank you! You favor working with teenagers and beyond?

My genuine happiness stems from how I view abuse and PTS. And simply stated. It doesn't belong to me. The abuse I endured wasn't about me. I was simply a handy target. Cowards go after the youngest. Cowards abuse. Everything in this world is adaptive...including our brain. It is what it is. Evil...

Do we ever stop healing? I believe we do. I believe at some point personal growth settles in prompting us to share our experiences in an effort for change. Each one of us have different traumas that can give society a better understanding. We can't remain silent. My question to everyone here...

Excellent post!

This is a message board. Unfortunately people will see what they want to see. You know your heart the best. Go with that. :)

Solara I believe you have enough spunk to get past your trauma. But yes..I do believe you whine a lot. Here's my firm belief. We are already trauma free. The trauma we are experiencing has never belonged to us in the first place. Before I go on..do you remotely understand what I'm trying to share?

BB has a lot of insight. I do find much of her work to be generalized. I believe my T used her work as a starting point. Vulnerability is an issue with any trauma survivor.

My T hinted at this method(s) my last session as well. She also stated EDMR can be done in a way to disallow flashbacks. However,she said I have complex trauma. I'm aware I need to work on grounding skills. So for the moment EDMR is out of the equation. On therapy days I try to blank out my...

My happiness is genuine. Just as negative emotions can flood your system and paralyze you. Feeling happy can also flood your system. You can feel your whole body smile. :)

Yes! My body goes into overload. I feel like I'm dying. It's a very valid concern. My heart rate goes sky high. I forget how to breathe. It's terrifying. Yes! I will AVOID prompting those feelings.

It was unmistakable. How could I possibly see anything else? I was blamed and shamed for biting my grandpa. Deemed a biter no man would ever want. Really? ~eyeroll~ Exactly WHAT did he expect? He was a power rapist. I heard the words abortion and lesbian long before I knew what they meant. Try...

My attitude comes from being the scapegoat in my family. The consistency of my abuse was/is healing in itself. It never waivered. My siblings had to ride the roller coaster of being perfect one day and bad the next. I thank God everyday I was the scapegoat in my family dynamic! The sheer...

Dismissing neither. We have something to learn from everyone. My T made a very good call.