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I think it is wrong to seek a separation to change someone's behavior.Your husbands behavior isn't right, but it doesnt' seem like two wrongs will make a right here. A marriage is really special. Not for emotional blackmail, even if well intentioned. If your husband doesnt' see it like you do...

Sorry Angel2 write that you go that had to go through that and your mother blamed you at 6. My mother didn't blame me as she didn't know I was being molestered by my stepfather. However when he wasnt' getting a compliant 9 year old any more to go into his room, he turned violent to everyone...

Hi Lila, I can also relate to your introduction. Welcome.

Wow, this is exactly the sort of stuff I am processing right now. It is hard to let go of the feeling you are responsible for other people's bad stuff. It is like an illusion. My family was a like a magic show, because they kept making believe I had some sort of magic to stop them from their...

Has anyone else have an illusion they can control bad things that happen in the world, when they can't. I have trouble accepting that I just can't control everything bad that other people do. When I was raised in my family I was constantly blamed for the abuse and domestic violence by both...

Responsive parenting 5 Building a child's positive self image by Saf Lerman. My psychologist bought me a copy she thought of it so highly of this book and series. It teaches about correcting behavior and not using labels. Try to get a copy and make your husband read it. The fact that he lied...

Oh dear waterworks after reading this page.

Welcome to the forum. It is nice you are not isolated here.:).

When you get therapy, as time goes on you will get less disacotiation. That happened in my experience. I spent most of the day under a blanket 13 years ago, and then 8 years into therapy, was disacotiating about half as much. Unfortunately that changed when I got into therapy again for the core...

I think it sounds like you are going through a rough time, and probably have things coming to the surface, that are upsetting you at the moment. Dissacotiation can also be a sign of progress, it can be a part of the healing process.It is not always a bad thing, though it sucks. Make sure you...

I've noticed on the forum that moderators often correct people on their grammar by asking for paragraphs. However when they explain a paragraph, they actually explain what a sentence break/paragraph break is, not what a paragraph is. Sometimes moderators explain that a paragraph is bunch of...

I'm not sure I have the confidence, I think a few things contribute to it, not any one thing. When I got a certain amount of councelling, the energy started turning into protective anger, I guess I have a good instinct for seeing 'the vulnerable points' in a domestic violence relationship as...

Sorry you have this short term memory problem. I have it too, my husband tells me something like close the door if he is doing something, and I forget it 2 seconds later and don't close the door on my way out. It does feel like alhzeimers. I'm afraid mine just got worse and worse worst the...

not really. You make sure your safe. I learned in the firebrigade Safe yourself, before safe others. It is the pleasant words and ignoring and trying to covert them to good and having 'balls' and bravery are the things that scare them (the ones that abuse women and children). I use a magic...

My dad was a psycopath(psychologist said). Pretty sure he had a third instinct about who is vulnerable and makes a soft target too.But not all women who were abused and are victims of domestic violence are 'soft'. My dad was scared of me at 9 years old. We know how to scare the hell out of them...

I think it is helpful to identify dissacotiative forms of PTSD. Then they can help target treatment better to individuals. I know exposure therapy and putting myself in situations where I was triggered only 'flooded' me and made my symptoms worse. I was on a high dose antideppressants when I...

I know this sounds ridiculous, but sometimes I pretend my house is taking care of me and providing me with lots of work to do. This work keeps me well.I find it comforting to work sometimes.

flooding, thanks Hellipig. Going to look that up now.

I have the opposite problem, I am addicted to praise. Because I learned that I caused my dad's violence to my mother. So I seek now to be perfect in order to not cause violence from other people to happen. It must be hard to also not accept praise. Sorry you have to deal with this.

F*** you, that was my first thought at a response too. Great minds think alike.:giggle:

It is a normal thing I think to be angry at a community after something you have gone through. I found that when I was attacked (not sexual but abuse years before) the attack was also on the community. Bad things/ views can come across from the abusive person. I was so angry, I just do things to...

That is how it started to feel at my last appointment. I went through this experience that was horrible. I felt this anger like I'd never felt before. My psychologist used a link to my memory I had been working on for 2 1/4 years. I must have been too scared to use it own my own (haven't had...

A computer walled off. I can relate to that. Therapy putting fragments together made me realise what my attacker said in my trauma became a walled of computer program that was running. Every time you try to go around the programming, the system crashes and releases all the viruses...

Has anyone got a survivor mission? It is like a lifelong pursuit to put pain. Mine is being healthy and positiveness. When I feel pain, I put this energy into something like being healthy/ active and postiveness. My psychologist has a rockery and she adds plants to it when she feels pain.