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to update:- I raised it, she was very apologetic, and admitted that this an ongoing weakness her supervisor has been pushing her to improve. She said that after last week she had been full of resolution to change, but it had got away from her again, she'd been late for me and she wasn't even...

I was replying to Friday's question It's not the trauma, but my response to it that I think may be manufactured. Since I have always known about traumas that spanned the first fifteen years of my life, I find it hard to believe that they can now be having so great an impact. How on earth can...

I haven't looked. I think only one clock, facing her. I'd have to put my glasses on to see what is on that table. It sounds as though you think it is a shared responsibility to be aware of the time?

I can't have been clear - we can and we are, to a greater extent than any previous T. Don't we also discuss issues in a healthy relationship? It isn't solely about her setting the boundary, but also about recognising and resolving a problem? I'm here, working out ways to resolve it and...

I know you didn't mean it to be so, but that was a really useful answer. It has set me thinking about the size of the tools, and about my assumption that will power is enough. I think I said earlier that most things have come easily to me, so I'm not used to having to apply myself consistently...

Yesterday, we spoke about the effort needed for me to arrive promptly, which I always do. I told her I set three timers, to ensure I meet deadlines in getting ready to go. That day I'd arrived, one minute early, to find her entrance gate still locked. It was a tough day in a tough week for me...

If you know you are imagining both the conversation and the child, how does that have an impact on the present? I'm much more likely to fantasise about hiding now than I did as a child, though as child I was usually alone anyway. I can spend long periods thinking about how it would feel to be...

Why is the gender of your mother the characteristic that you carry through to other relationships? It could be something else - you could reject working with brunettes, or smokers, or denture wearers for instance. Or (like me) run from people who won't give a clear answer. I have no idea of...

Looking at the range of answers, they seem to fall into procrastination - delay in starting the work, for various reasons being better, but staying for ongoing support/social connections being better but still having more to heal taking time to find the right treatment/tools/techniques ongoing...

There would still need to be someone to guide that child as I grew. I'm not sure where I'd find that support, because I don't know how to do it. In the end I'm not sure a panda is enough That in itself is a bit of an odd statement, because I brought up two children who seem to be mostly OK...

No, it has never been considered. I was treated with four different anti-depressants over the first couple of years, with effects varying from nothing to strange to dangerous. The pyschs concluded it wasn't worth trying anything else. I've always thought I was distressed, rather than depressed...

I have worn make up three times in the last seven years. I don't even clean my nails, except they get cleaned when I wash my hair. I aspire to clean knickers and socks daily, but the rest of my clothes are just what I wore yesterday. I don't look in the mirror, so It doesn't matter. But yes...

Which is where we came in. Why haven't I done enough to recover? Because I just don't want it badly enough.

The only thing that gets me out the door is committing to do it for someone else. At the weekend I went out twice - OH wanted to go to a market, so I went, though with inner representment at having to. Then I'd committed to going to the Holocaust memorial service, so I did that to honour the...

From a mechanical point of view, I understand processing aims to move traumatic experience from being stored in the "here-and now" part of the brain to its correct storage location, in the past. I believe it is achieved by having one foot in the trauma and one in the present. So it can be done...

But I need to, I need to earn money and I'm not capable of that. I was volunteering, two hours a month outside the house, eight hours a week of homework. As soon as it got difficult I ran away, just as I ran away from work. That can't go on, so I need to identify what the problem is and change...

I don't know - that's why I'm asking. On my part it is mainly lack of effort, but surely there can't be that many lazy people? But I was more motivated when i could see I was doing harm to my family. Now that I don't bother them, it is easy to sit in stasis

Yes, Ido think the reasons for not doing the work can be complex and often related to the experiences that got us here in the first place. Perhaps being able to suppress things so efficiently reduces the sense of urgency? I can conceal most of my symptoms, so I'm not bothering anybody

I wasn't being rude, I was asking the same question I ask myself, in the same way. There is no word of criticism in what I wrote, so you may be being oversensitive. I suspect that most of the honest answers will fall into one of the two categories you have identified - those who didn't do the...

I've been desperately clinging to mine, as the only source of comfort or protection in my life. Without him him I would be cast wholly adrift, with no hope. I have to spread his little arms as wide as they can stretch to embrace and protect as much of me as he can. That can only be fake -...

Why aren't you better? Serious question - plenty of people apply all the tools and get better.

Which one? I think it has an obvious answer too, but it isn't the same as Freida's obvious answer. Perhaps your T wants to know your answer.

Ignore. Utter self indulgent waste of time

Three things First, my therapist wants me to support and encourage this inner child when tackling something difficult. I'm focussing on cooking and getting dressed. T's suggestion of what I might say is along the lines of "it's Ok sweetheart, I'm with you , we'll do this together", but I...