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I had big issues with the nondisclosure thing too. T ended up letting me ask her any questions I wanted as long as it didnt turn into focusing on her and her problems. She understood based upon what I told her that I cant open up to people I dont know. I have always been protective and reserved...

Can he or both of you find another thaerapist? At least he went before so may be open to some anger managememt work - no one deserves to be called names. Change is so stinkin hard but you gotta look out for yourself. Next time, I would simply say "I dont deserve to be treated this way and will...

Thanks for these excellent responses. I agree that trusting your T is the first hurdle. We've come a long way in that area and have worked thru a few ruptures which is like any relationship tho not without it's challenges given the objective. Two forward, one back. I wasn't talking only of...

Therapists say you are not intended to see them forever, yet it feels like the old Pink Floyd song..."there' s no way out of here when you come in youre in for good."

I have been thinking about this big mountain of a project that sits in front of me, the one called "healing". Sometimes it feels impossible to find a way. My therapist occassionally asks what my goals are and usually I mention something about trust. I am pretty guarded, still so with her...

I love to close me eyes, too, because the world can be so overstimulating. I like to hide in the woods.

Agree that freedom is escape from symptoms. For me, that would be in the form of fearlessness - learning to trust and baring my heart.

You are obviously brave, intelligent and very self aware. There is no courage without fear, right?

This being the free world 'n all, Id buy him a cookbook and apron for his birthday. Ungrateful, indeed. Hand on hip, "this aint no restaurant".

I got fitted this morning for a guard and am looking forward to getting that. I had an inexpensive one from the drug store and when it got too badly discolored, I put it in the dishwasher and it shrank up something awful! So don't every do that! :O_o: Thanks to a change in the insurance, they...

How do you self soothe? Journal, exercise, meditate, read, nap..I find it helps to keep my body moving. Keeping my mind occupied is good, too, but I think there may be value in not being avoidant and healing by learning to sit with the feelings. I hope that helps. I know how destructive it all...

Grateful for a kick ass trainer...not needing to work because I dont want to...creative talents...heading back to therapy after a 2 month break...and chai!

Are you asking if there are people around whom you tend to dissociate? Maybe. I dissociate in therapy because we talk triggering topics. I can dissociate in a restaurant with my spouse if she isn't talking to me. I can dissociate alone if my mind wanders. My family is far away so not a factor...

What do you want? Is it possible? I like to occassionally lay down a challenge of not looking at the phone for a day. Amazimg how much more we interact. Do you ever go out? It is too easy to slowly resign to the downward spiral of coexistance. Recovering and maintaining it takes work. Saying...

I so look forward to packing up the Christmas decorations, cleaning the house, and wallowing in alone time. Spouse has been working from home over the holidays, throwing off my delicate need for silence. Love her, love my space. It's a fragile balance.

Ive been stuggling with this as well. One thing I read was alters hold memories while parts do not. My "parts" have been throwing memories at me that are horrible of which I have no recall. My T threw the DID label at me. Parts only show up in writing, dont talk to me, never appeared until we...

My .02: I like a vague personal message like "While I appreciate your interest in collaborating with me, and I take that as a great compliment, Ive thought about it and it's not the direction I want to take my business right now. If I meet anyone interested in Psych K, Ill gladly point them your...

This year I took two breaks, one for a month and one for two months. Sometimes therapy is overwhelming, I think, and we need to let the dust settle before continuing on. There's nothing wrong if you need to slow down a bit. Your therapist will understand.

Happy I drug my hairy yellow butt to the gym. Happy all gifts and groceries are bought. Happy to get back on ly Ts calendar after two months of wasing in a mental quagmire. Happy to be doing art a little bit anyway after months off. Sorry for my liver as there has been to much drinking...

@MisterCatLady I absolutely love your post and it made me laugh out loud. My therapist and I get into it every few months because I don't like something she does and then I dont like her reaction to me saying that I dont like it! Pfffft! Humans. Sooo annoying!

Sounds cheesey, but marriage is hard for normal people. Pile on all of our crap and it's surprising we can make it work. It is always a take and give that is out of balance with trauma. My spouse has trauma and dysfunction in her past, too, but not PTSD. She has a severe medical disorder that...

Online relationships can be odd. You only see what people want you to see and there are often a lot of blanks to fill. Example: she gives you a three word reason for short responses, "sorry, really busy." Is it true? How can you ever know? I met my spouse online so I am not going to bash it as...

I dont think you can control it because you are asleep, but I was told it can be stress induced so maybe some relaxation exercises before retiring? I havent tried it but am a grinder, too. Ive done quite a bit of damage and had to have a cracked tooth pulled last month. :-(

^^ I think that sounds like a good plan. I would still need some bend from her about what sounds like such a uncompromising 'no'.... if she leaves the door open for eventually doing the work that you want to do.

Thanks, gizmo. I wrote my shrink today and told her I was having a hard time finding the courage to come in and hesitation around digging back in. I likened my sadness to T-Rex picking at my mind with a pair of tweezers. ;-) I look forward to some gentle persuasion in response, assurance we...