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:) Thank you! My husband is not "crazy" not even close and he is not terribly hurt. Just a little bit. There have been no changes in our relationship. He was already back when we started dating. Is this still the right board for me? My husband works full time and he is "in control" of his...

Welcome to the boards, lovemyman. What a beautiful name! Hope you find some answers and encouragement here. When did your fiance disappear? Why did he disappear? Did you have an argument or something like that? John, thanks for your information on tetris. My husband engages in this and need...

I noticed I have not introduced myself yet. I am the wife of a Vet... but that of course is not whole the story... because he is more than just a Vet. He is the father of my kid and the love of my life... and I do not want to see him as some kind of "project". We have all of our lives in front...

Welcome :)

Would you also hear the story of a supporter? I had a hard time dealing with the fact my Vet never talks about his feelings, so I went to a forum and posted about this. It was not a board for Vets... but I met a Vet by chance and he told me so many of the things I said about my H reminded him...

Why do you think that she does not trust you?

RussH, that sounds like great fun but we do not have the money. I am sure we will come up with something nice. amethist, planning a meal together is a great idea. Happy to meet somebody who is in the same situation. I sometimes feel like my little family is not normal because of things like...

My husband likes to pretend he does not have a problem with New Years Eve / crowds / noises... When we were newly married I was so confused because we would always make plans and then he would say we are not going and come up with an excuse like "It's is to cold / too hot / looks like rain /...

Me and my hubby made a plan for New Years Eve, have a babysitter. The problem with this: It is not going to happen. Why? Because my husband hates to go crowded and noisy places + doing some google-ing I learned that New Years Eve is not nice for people with PTSD. Often H will promise me to go...

Why do you want a family so soon?

I was not talking about a Vet-culture but about a culture-culture ;) What do I think? I think that things are as they are and my culture is as it is and that I am not letting my husband down by not keeping the promises I gave him. Hubby does not want me to discuss him with a therapist. I can...

Well... me and hubby are from a culture where Vets are supposed to be strong. and period. Hubby asked me not to discuss some of his issues with other people. I gave him my word and I am bond to this. I was talking to some other spouses but then my husband asked me not to discuss some things...

Albatross, Thank you for your opinion. Why did you consider cutting off contact with your mother? Change, I don't think I need to guess around about the explanation. My husband behaviour startles me. That's it. Could also be something else in addition, physical, psychological whatever... it is...

I am a bit stubborn here. I'd rather be trembling than spending hours at a shrink's office + my husband does not want me to discuss him with a shrink. Well... but you are probably right about physical issues that can cause tremors. So I should see a doctor. Still I think that it is stress...

Did you as somebody who has not been diagnosed with PTSD ever have a tremor... or however this is called... because of your loved-one? The fact my H sometimes seems to be quite stressed makes me feel stressed to... and in fact I sometimes just cannot stop trembling. My hands have a little shake...

Thank you, Hashi!

Hashi, could you perhaps explain to me why it is soothing to do this?

Well... I told him I don't like it + it makes me feel horrible. Sometimes I also get angry. He said that it is his tool and there is not need for me to feel horrible about it. Said it was very useful for him, did not hurt - how can it be that this does not hurt? Said "it's okay - no need to be...

Yes, he finds it relaxing. I am not trying to stop him. I used to hate it but not anymore. I was just curious because so many of the guys here wrote about their / their husbands OCD-like behaviour.

Just curious. Since I have started talking to other spouses I have realized that a lot of our hubbys sometimes do act OCD-like and I have been reading a bit on this board now and also realized that a lot of the guys here act OCD like... ... and I am just curious if any of you shines his shoes...

I have been reading what you wrote... and I just thought "boy, there is another someone whose husband washes the dishes three times in row", or does he only wash them after they are dirty? I don't want to talk bad about my husband but some of what you write reminds me so much of him... for...

Thanks for your opinion.... Why I don't like it: 1) I admit, it's hard to look at and also a poor example for our son but also 2) he hurts himself with it, for example he hurts his lips by biting them 3) people react negative to it and of course hubby does not like that He does not like it...

I got some tips at another board which I would like to mention here: * worry beads * give him gum to chew * hold both his hands in mine

If he does not like to be there would it be possible for you to celebrate it at your homwe but without him?

We don't have thanksgiving where I live and I don't know what it means to Americans. ... but I know what you mean. My Vet likes private celebrations but he HATES going to public places and he has acted like this on numerous occasions. We planned something and in the last minute he came up with...