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I've been in therapy for 30 years. Heh. Ok, so it has been off and on. When I'm in good phases I try to maintain a once-a-month-check-in policy with a therapist. I'm chronic, which is good and bad. It means I need to always have treatment options in place and immediately available. It's bad...

I've had 21 therapists over 30 years. Getting dumped sucks. :( At this point I'm really fierce as I interview new providers. You need to be able to *jump through hoops* or forget it. My current therapist is an incest specialist who helped open one of the first trauma inpatient centers in the...

Yes, I've had survival sex. I had a pool of "regulars" and I would show up at their house and have sex with them in trade for a place to sleep. It was that or sleep in my car. They usually (but not always) bought me dinner and it was either them buy me food or I didn't eat. I was told "It's ok...

I guess it was the OB part? I didn't tell her that more than half the sex I was having was with women... so the opinions of men were entirely irrelevant. She was Indian and did not seem open to such a comment. :) I went and found a dyke. Turns out my birth control was the problem. The extra...

You know what? It's ok to have fun with Mr. Right Now. He doesn't have to be your forever. Maybe the good outweighs the bad for now. You seem to have clear eyes. Enjoy every moment you can. Even with people who aren't perfect.

I am queer. I am married to a man. I didn't marry a man because I switched sides and stopped liking women. I married a man because he was the individual person who made me feel best about myself. I find that at different points in time relationships with women are more or less fulfilling for...

Makes total sense to me. He doesn't want to get it.

I'm sorry that Planned Parenthood isn't an option. That is ridiculous. I'm sorry that you've had bad experiences with groino's. Once I went to see a groino (I like that word better than gynecologist for pain during sex. She told me, "It doesn't matter how it feels to you. You are only doing it...

Planned Parenthood was really good to me when I needed such services. They were really supportive of me making whatever choices worked for me. I'm so sorry you are feeling pain. There can be lots of reasons and lots of potential solutions. I hope you can get in to see a cool doctor soon.

Accidentally getting caffeine you don't want will cause you to feel wired. Nothing to be sorry for. Of course you feel angry/upset when you are accidentally wired. It isn't fun for folks who are trying like heck to calm down. I have to ask for replacement drinks a lot because I like hot *white*...

Heard back from the mom of the 2 year old. Her response can be summarized by "Oh crud. I knew she was struggling with hitting issues I didn't realize it was THAT big of a problem with your kid. We will fix this." Then she had a bullet point list of things she will do to fix it. Oh that feels so...

I'm not going to tell you how hard you should or shouldn't be on yourself. That's not my place. What I will ask is: is being hard on yourself getting you what you want or is it blocking you from getting what you want? There are a lot of coping methods that helped me get through bad phases that...

I'm actually fine with slapping toys around. That's appropriate in our house. You have aggressive, big feelings--take it out on someone/something that can't be hurt. Hitting toys is fine. Hitting the punching bag is fine. Oh man. One time our then 3 year old walked up to her doll and picked it...

Have you ever considered finding an advocate? You can talk to your local rape crisis counseling center (google that phrase with the name of your city) and asking them about an advocate for facing the police? Your psychiatrist probably doesn't have contact with an advocate program but I'd ask...

I love coloring my hair. It is so much fun. :D I had 6 colors at once for a while.

I hear you that it is hard to talk about. It will get easier over time if you work on it. At 17 I wasn't good at talking about my abuse stuff either. I didn't get "comfortable" until my 30's. If you don't have your problems solved next week that's ok. You have time.

Many spiritual traditions believe that you store grief in your hair. Shaving your head periodically is a way of letting go of things that are hanging on in ways you don't want them to hang on. I've shaved my head twice, once at 17 and once at 31. I don't have the best skull, but it was a good...

First step is talking to your psychiatrist. You can't self-diagnose with PTSD. I'm sorry this happened to you. It was clearly abuse whether or not it was "sexual assault" and that can mess you up for life too.

I don't know about other people, but I find that I tend to have the same kind of problem over and over for a while. It's like the universe decides, "How about if you deal with the same issue on repeat seventeen times in a week? Will that be fun?" Lately the issue is physical boundaries with...

If you are a woman, or an ethnic minority, or from a persecuted religion, or queer or... there are lots of voices in the world that try to silence you because they are trying to support the status quo. Often this silencing isn't intentional and it isn't malicious. People are just trying to keep...

I took my kids to a writing conference this weekend because they had child care. It's been magical. I am talking to smart people about neat books! I'm talking to other writers about our systems and tweaks and things that help! It's so fun. Yesterday I moderated a panel on overcoming...

I have lots people when I'm going through changes because they aren't ready to change with me and I can't keep having the same relationship if I'm different. I want to be different. My life will be better if I change. If those people want me to stay how I am so that they can feel comfortable...

Something to keep in mind: we aren't telling you that it probably isn't PTSD because we are big meanie pants. Part of the reason folks want you to consider the probability that it isn't full blown PTSD is because PTSD is incredibly hard to treat. It is about permanent changes in your brain that...

I don't want to read and say nothing, but no I can't relate. I hope someone here can. Welcome to the forum.

That's not a pity party. If you are only a year out from the death of your child, you are still in deep preliminary grief and telling you to hurry up and get over it is very disrespectful. I would fire someone who said that to me. I'm so sorry for your loss. Do what you can when you can.