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woof. That is really rough. I'm sorry. :(

I live in a place where marijuana is legal for me to self-medicate with. Every other medication I have ever tried has failed to help me with my issues. I hope you are managing your harm risks carefully with a view towards long-term harm reduction. Other than that, I'm not judging at all. Feel...

So... f*ck ups and all... this is someone who my therapist gushes week after week that she's never had a client with a partner who is so supportive. I really like my husband. If there is something that needs to change he will be down. He will do whatever I want. I just have to figure out how to...

If you google "feel like I'm falling while going to sleep" you will find lots of information. It's pretty common even among non-traumatized people.

I have certainly reevaluated a lot of my bdsm activities. I no longer identify as a slave. I am not all that interested in a power imbalanced relationship. I've been around the scene long enough that I've seen that most of the "Masters" are losers. My physical masochism changes in weird...

@shandemonium Specifically: not many people have ever wanted to get all upset in defense of me. It feels nice to believe that there might be people who would.

Ok, let me answer your questions. In most scenes there is a safeword, yes. In specifically negotiated consensual non-consent scenes both participants make a conscious choice that for the duration of a specific scene they do not want a safeword. In the past I sometimes used safewords and...

Thank you very much for that validation.

Yes, @The Albatross, @Pencil does have a point about the *rape* part of bdsm being done for me. I feel pretty good about no longer needing to relive those experiences. I am happy that at this point in time my sex life is about the sensations I'm having right now this moment rather than being...

Heh. I still like the occasional SM. But I want it to exist in a very carefully limited bubble these days. And *sexual* violence is less appealing. I still like spankings and canings and single tails. :) People are *so weird*. There have definitely been a lot of shifts. I just don't feel like I...

I had a rough housing accident with a kid in February where I got kicked in the throat. The adults in the group have decided that I'm the problem. I've been flipping out ever since. I have not stopped being activated in months. Which means... sex has been hard anyway. Ok, back story on our...

This is BS. Please stop commenting on my thread. I have had a higher sex drive than every man I've ever dated. I am not appreciating your input.

Wow. Holy f*cking shit. I lie there like a good f*cking wife 5-10 times a f*cking month quite happily. Sometimes when I'm asleep and someone wakes me up by yanking my pants off and f*cks me without a how-do-ya-do and then finishes before I can wake up to even consider consenting.... I don't...

For the record, if you compare the men who don't want oral to my overall #s... Around 10%.

I have slept with 10 guys who don't like oral. Your beliefs are incorrect.

Pencil, I appreciate it. Part of the problem is we have both been flailing for a while and that feels bad for both of us. Neither of us has anything to give and that means we both feel like needy pits. Yeah, I think part of the problem is that he is supposed to be the one who is safe. This...

I feel murky. I feel icki and unloved more than I feel raped. I feel like he was an inconsiderate lover. I feel like he was selfish and short sighted. I've been raped a lot. I'm not sure if this is me trying to excuse things or if I just genuinely see it as different. Things in my relationship...

You get why this is a fuzzy topic. We've had a lot of "dream sex". It has been a common thing in our relationship. Mostly it goes over fine and I have fun. I say I'm not sure how to feel about it because we have an established dynamic where initiating sex is fine and I need to say "no". But...

I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to say that autism is an excuse to rape.

I have been tremendously slutty with boys and girls. I have slept with far more women than the average man (way the heck more than you, Hooper) so I feel somewhat qualified to wax poetic. People vary. There. That's the thing. People with trauma have weird little things. People without trauma...

I don't know what to say either. I'm probably not going to up and leave. I feel so lost.

My husband is autistic. He misses subtle little cues. Mostly I handle this by responding to things with all the subtlety of an anvil to the head. He's thrilled that I will pretty much write scripts for him to follow to be supportive. But right now he feels like he is drowning and not getting...

I've been assaulted by 12 men. I believe you. I'm so sorry for your experiences.

It sounds like you do need some counseling. You *do* have to just deal with it. That's what we all have to do. She has to deal with it. You have to deal with it. It sucks. It is tooth grindingly hard. It is horrible. It is wrong. But it is what there is to do. The alternative is wrecking your...

I'll be nice and say probably triggering. I don't know what kind of acting out to which you are referring. That's ok, you were vague on purpose. Yes, I think fear and sex became very entwined for me. I was incredibly active in the bdsm community for a few years during my young adult period. I...