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Oh man, I feel you. Seven years, almost 8, almost six of those married, and POOF! "I think I don't love you anymore." I'm trying to stop myself from regretting the last 7 years, which I know is part of the grieving process. But still. In the last year, we've had "Do you want to open our...

Exactly. I've been reading a bit in the "sufferer" section as well. There is definitely a difference between those who are getting treatment successfully, those who are just starting out (and/or those whose issues are more debilitating) in their treatment, and those who are not currently in...

It sounds like you need to decide how much is enough. Even though I don't consider my sufferer abusive, and even though he's the one instigating splitting up, if he were to say "I don't want to split up after all," I wouldn't agree at this point. He would need to get help, and own his behavior...

Yes. My sufferer lashes out when stressed, and his behavior is what I consider abusive at times. I didn't consider him to be abusive. I guess for me, the intent has to be there, conscious or not. The only times I HAVE considered it abuse is when he tries to justify his abusive behavior, instead...

Take out the alcohol, and holy crap, 1 through 4 sound familiar (both the 4s...). My sufferer is a combat vet also, but I never attributed any of his behavior to that (it sounds like the Navy was the best thing that happened to mine at the time); however, he was a correctional sergeant, so...did...

He cheated on you and got someone else pregnant? I think you are well within your rights to establish boundaries on what you're willing to tolerate regarding his contact with other women (and everything else), and what he needs to do to earn your trust back. My own path with my (soon to be ex)...

Oh no. I am so sorry! Losing a fur baby is so hard, I can't even imagine when that fur baby is also your lifeline.

*smile* Yeah, I can see it would be none of my business, and that was the day I dropped the subject entirely. It was genuine concern on my part because, well, he was eating a LOT of cough drops (like, 40+ in a day), and his dentist was even concerned for the effect on his teeth. He had been...

He gets triggered by...well, just about anything that involves what he considers "controlling" behavior. That lovely comment came after my being worried about his eating too many cough drops and his even WORSE response, for which that was the so-called apology. It was more an example of his...

Others have said this too, but it definitely takes a willingness on his part to own his crap. If he's not willing to own his crap, and actually figure out what he's doing and why it's not acceptable, and still blames her for his outbursts, he's not ready to be forgiven (if that makes sense)...

The hardest thing I've had to do is let my sufferer go. We went from a counseling session where he said he wants me in his life, he loves me, he needs me, I'm part of his family and can't go anywhere...and which caused him to panic attack pretty badly. Then, the same day, he misunderstood me (in...

Ooh, this has really made me see another side of my and soon-to-be-ex-husband's relationship. I never even thought of resentment entering into my frame of mind, but I know it did. I felt like (and still do) we had to play by "his" rules of engagement, and that was that. It wasn't until our last...

Is he in treatment? Is he willing to get treatment? My advice (on the tail end of a 7 year relationship with someone with Complex PTSD, not called that until a few months ago), is get your own support/counseling. Establish your boundaries. Decide what you are ok with putting up with. Insist he...

Depression is insidious. I was first diagnosed with depression as a teenager, and really started treatment for it in my 20s. I'm 42 now, and for the first time in my LIFE, I feel I can say my depression is in remission. Even on my best days (where I thought my depression was at least not as...

I've found my soon-to-be-ex has a very hard time with making decisions. He is willing to go along with whatever, just to not make the decision, then blame me for the outcome if it turned out to be not what he wanted. Ironically, he also has to be in control. So basically, I'm beginning to...

Exactly. I put up with a lot from my partner because I saw all the good that went along with the crap. I didn't know it was C-PTSD at the time, just "mental illness" (depression and anxiety and stress/anger management issues because that's what he called it). I didn't have my boundaries firmly...

I WISH I could get out of here, or he could. We seem to have come to some sort of...well, definitely not good, but at least tolerable, compromise - I try to have the hard conversations about finances when I'm at work (we talk better online), so he is alone and can process. Right now any reminder...

My boundaries have to come because we're stuck in the same house right now, until we can go our separate ways. It's...difficult, to say the least. He needs to run so badly, and financially it just isn't happening yet, because, hello, didn't plan on this. He's made it very clear he is very done...

Yup. That may be the hardest part, right there. Which is why I'm letting him go. The things I post here, are things I can't tell him, or say to him, because it won't help him. As soon as I realized what we were dealing with, and how PTSD is different (and complex PTSD even more so) from any...

Intellectually, I know this. My brain knows it. But it's so, so hard to hear it coming from him. I know it's not me, it's him. But to hear the words...that's the hard part. And I know that I'll "get over it," and my intellect will finally win over my emotions, and I'll be ok eventually. The path...

I feel you, too. Five, almost six years, of marriage, no "diagnosis" of PTSD until the last six months, though now that I have more knowledge, and retrospect, so much of our relationship was defined by PTSD. And because of triggers that he admits just happened at the wrong time, I'm still...

Ugh. Now that I'm on the tail end of our relationship - he said it when we first got together, that he'd only break my heart. But, as we got to know each other, he said he was in it no matter what, and he wouldn't run from our relationship. The complex PTSD diagnosis from childhood trauma...

Disney World is Florida. :) My mom and I are making plans for road trips to the California coast. It will be nice to get away, with someone who can explore.

@MoriMermaid We're kind of forced to take it slow. He's made his decision that we're done as a couple, but we are good friends still. Of course, I heard this before, about his second ex-wife, "We were better as friends." Anyway, we aren't in a financial position to split up the household just...

I have a feeling that's what it is for (almost-ex) husband and I. Love and responsibility and feeling needed, and feeling need, are all triggers for him. So, my very existence is a trigger, but not. He has no idea what to do with unconditional love. Throughout our relationship, he's been able to...