Relationship Retired Army Sgt - Recent Rage And Alcohol Absue

[Phantom Shadow]

@Phantom Shadow - how exactly is the table supposed to help? I'm 5ft and weigh 59kgs....

All I can tell you is that it worked for me. Sorry if I made it worse.

 

[grimalkin]

Take out the alcohol, and holy crap, 1 through 4 sound familiar (both the 4s...). My sufferer is a combat vet also, but I never attributed any of his behavior to that (it sounds like the Navy was the best thing that happened to mine at the time); however, he was a correctional sergeant, so...did have the snap decisions, life on the line job in that.

I have an English degree, and boy howdy does that get mocked, along with hearing "Now I may just be a dumb prison guard but..." and I have NEVER called him stupid or talked down to him for not having a degree. To the contrary, he's incredibly intelligent, and I have told him that's one of the things that makes him attractive to me.

Any standing up for myself in his tirades was met with "If you don't like it, leave, this is how I am." "I need to be alone, I can't deal with you or anyone else," is coming now, after 7+ years of living together.

He's also untreated, and the only skills he has are those he taught himself, and a few he's had from an anger management class he took in his work, and a brief stint dealing with the PTSD his work caused (which is, ironically, not our current problem - it's complex-PTSD that is the main issue that's splitting us up).

I hadn't read this thread previously because I didn't think it "applied," since I don't think of my sufferer as having combat-related PTSD. But, maybe his time in the corrections field is about the same thing.

Ah to be able to turn back time and know then what I know now...

 

[Snowflakes]

@PTSD-GF I just got to your thread. Reading your post breaks my heart. My sufferer did it the reverse order than yours. She was an alcoholic and had to get sober very fast or she was going to die. I spent years in Al-Anon to learn how to keep my sanity living with an alcoholic. To answer your question of whether you stay to help or leave to save yourself....I can't answer for you. If she hadn't looked up through the fog with one foot in the grave, saw me, and decided to want to live because I wanted her, I'm not sure how much longer we would have been together.

She was using the alcohol to numb the pain of trauma. Now we deal with her CPTSD and severe GAD.

I don't have an answer, I only see the road you will have with a sufferer that self-medicated with alcohol. I'm sorry and I empathize with you. Take care.

 

[LuckiLee]

Thank you so much for your replies. It definitely makes me feel less alone. A few other things to not...

He needs to be in therapy ASAP. Nothing will change until then. Good luck.