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This is a little like the Letting Go thread. What makes you think that if they erase you, you will be happy Scott

Where are you from? And where are you now, and every place in between? Still think you need to get on Prozac :) Scott

sounds like you need some antidepressants pretty urgently, more so than temazepam or any other benzos or even alcohol. You had better put that psychiatrist to good use. I think you might need hospitalisation if you have more suicidal ideation. Yes, really. Scott

You dont have to go to a psychiatrist to get temazepam, i do wonder why you haven't got one though. Are you on any benefits or anything?

OK, go for a walk around the block or something. Do you have a psychiatrist, etc.? Might be worth discussing this with them... if you've taken temazepam i would suggest steering clear of alcohol for a while. Scott

Sounds like you are in a similar position to mine when I was popping them. Cant sleep with them and fall apart without them. You really need to see something like a sleep disorder clinic. In answer to your question it depends if you wash them down with bourbon or something like that, and how...

OK I'll answer this one, I go to AA... PTSD has always been all consuming, and the relief of it was also all-consuming. My drinking was all consuming. It was my 24 hour a day occupation. Everything I did, enabled me to drink. If it involved being sober, in the end I didn't do it. My sobriety (9...

I have a colossal social phobia. 0 social skills, etc. I had PTSD while everyone else had a social life. Sometimes I wonder if I'm autistic. It's that bad. I dread answering the door, and not because the knocking sends me through the roof (sometimes it does). I just have no idea what to say. I...

Like my muscles feel taught and ready to snap. Scare me and *I'll* snap. Scott

Me too in the early stages. Maybe just my circumstances have changed - things were pretty unsettled for me then and i had less than no support...

Hopefully not benzos. They work really well for me, at night but during the day make it worse (Temazepam) but after a fortnight they wear off at night as well. They've been a problem before for me. Scott

You bet, I feel that too. Many of my friends have disappeared... Scott

I've thought about this from time to time. But right now I'd like a relationship that lasts more than 6 months... Scott

Oh yes I've never got over Yeti's eyes. STILL makes me shudder

Americans are *EXTREMELY* narcissistic about America. It's as though it's the centre of the universe. I would go so far as to say narcissism is a national trait. Period. Scott

I agree the US is pretty plutocratic. Too many vested interests in keeping a broken system broken, anyone who tries to fix anything at all is going to face immense opposition. I wonder why anyone bothers...

I usually don't dream. certainly not lately, but while I was 'using' I would have vivid, technicolour dreams. And usually wake up after them, the dreams were so real i would check to make sure everything was OK and the dream had not actually happened for real. Scott

If your mother denies anything wrong with her side of the family, that's where you should start looking ;-). In my experience there's usually massive denial/idealisation/devaluation running in families. Scott

Indeed. If your parent has NPD they will not get better. They will get better at it. They will get better at appearing normal while the underlying pathology gets 'fine tuned'. Yeti is getting worse/better by the day at being an N. I've had to sever all contact with her. Scott

I have intergenerational trauma throughout both sides of my family. Yeti's grandmother was married to someone who came home from WW1 and became an alcoholic. Maybe he bacame an alcoholic after he had discovered just what he had married (by most accounts she was ... temperamental). Yetis mother...

It means that some part of your personality "splintered off" from your awareness, thereby letting you survive when you may very well not have. Very good at the time (ie you did survive), but not so good now when you need all those bits of you together. Scott

You betcha. Yeti used to LOVE making things worse. If there was care to withhold, she'd do it... Scott

When you started treatment, eg. medication, etc., how long did it take before everything settled down and you could at least function? This is really crippling me at the moment. Not to mention pissing me off. Scott

I've had MAJOR problems with Effexor. Did very little for my depression and made the anxiety (slightgly) worse. That made me even more of an insomnic (*CHRONIC* problem) and when that happenned both depression and anxiety went through the roof. Scott

My last two (Rotty and Pepper, pepper in the avitar) have been my best dogs ever and were rescues as well. Can be hypervigilent, etc. Rotty used to have panic attacks with hyperventilating etc., i think he was happy to have an owner who was understanding. Scott