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I'm exhausted. I was in a weird sort of sleep-but-awake state all night. I remember calling out to my best friend in a sort of dream, except that apparently I actually did that.

Dedicating this one to our new girl, who is a drone pilot and has become the Navi to my Link, as it were. If I 'sometimes get the feeling that she's watching over me', it's because she is. Where we are and what is happening here gives a whole new dimension to the rest of the lyrics, too.

Panicked. Frantic.

I don't know where to put this. One of my friends was killed today. I don't know which one, just that we have had a fatality. I don't even know for whom to grieve.

Amid much consternation and clucking from local command, the new girl arrived. We get on like a house on fire. She gave me her phone number in the first five minutes. We sat up all night drinking to celebrate her arrival, then the Team Dad made us breakfast this morning while telling her how...

We have a female recruit joining us soon. Yeah, okay, I freely admit that I am what might charitably be called a 'rake', but I'm not just that; most of my friends at home are female and I miss having girls around to talk to. I'm really looking forward to her showing up. I hope we get along.

Les Morts Dansant. Yesterday was Remembrance Sunday, tomorrow is Remembrance Day. Today is just me sitting here getting shelled and drunk on bootleg brandy. Everyone else is wasted and talking about dead friends. I don't want to. I want to talk about fun things. I don't...I don't want to...

I don't know who I am. This place is a nightmare, but also everything I ever dreamed of. I'm a monster.

It doesn't get better. Save yourself the trouble.

All kinds of things. I'm not doing well at all just now. Kind of all over the place. The strategic situation where I am is weighing heavily on my mind. The weather and how unpleasant it is going to make things. The wellbeing of my wounded friend. The fact that my sensitivity to the local food...

Cock o' the North. It's the regimental march of the Gordon Highlanders. My grandfather was a Gordon and I served in what they became later. I wish we had a piper here. It's impossible to be scared with a piper doing his thing. And yes, I can highland dance. The other guys have spotted that...

Terrified, and ashamed of that. The others are tired, mentally and physically, and some are completely worn out. None of them show any sign of the fear that has ahold of me. The hammer will fall soon. I will stay and I will fight, but I am scared out half out of my mind. Nobody here can know.

What kind of weather event? Not weather related (unless you count steel rain) but we're having to pack up everything and move today. Just got this place feeling cosy, too.

I looked online and found the perfect jacket for my cosplay for Comic Con next year. I'm going as Ciaphas Cain.

I have attended Remembrance Sunday events for the last 30 years without missing a single one. From my first parade as a cadet, then with the army, the navy and the coastguard then on my own, then watching my son parade with the scouts. I will miss this year, but I'm sure the lads would understand.

My friend is alive and will recover fully, while another is coming back to us from hospital.

Quiet here.

I don't know what the word is for this feeling. Circumstances here have changed and I'm pretty sure I'm going to die. I've taken to sitting on the sofa that serves as my bed and rocking backward and forward. It's involuntary but at least it makes me feel better. My body feels stressed but my...

I was approached by a recruiter via LinkedIn who is looking for a first aid instructor. I am not qualified as an instructor, but I've been a first responder if various sorts for 20 years before I came here, which I assume is why they contacted me. Maybe I won't have to be unemployed when my...

All my adult life I've been in one uniform or another. There isn't anything else. I don't want anything else.

In the fight. They just sent some of my friends straight back to the line without any time to rest while I'm stuck here twiddling my thumbs. I need to get back to the front.

Lot on my mind. Thoughts racing and swirling around in there. Christmas. I haven't spent one away from home since the kids were born. I could possibly get home in time, but it would mean abandoning my friends here and I can't really believe I'm even entertaining the idea. I can't decide if it...

Clean clothes, not-horrible food and the fact that the girl in the shop continues to giggle and go pink whenever I come in.

I got issued a fresh, local uniform today. I've been running around in my old British gear since I got here and haven't had a chance to clean my clothes in weeks. Tonight I'm relaxing in brand new, spotless clothes. Especially clean, dry socks.

I served in the British Army long ago. I'm active duty with a different army now.