Search results

I'm sorry to hear that @stp2012 - make sure you take care of yourself over the holidays, you deserve it, however much the voices in your head tell you that you don't. Thinking of you @DiamondBug

I do this too. And I bring anything that feels safe - for me, that's diet coke and antibacterial hand-gel. Anything to make you feel safer when discussing things that feel scary. Keep going everyone.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you @DiamondBug - you are not to blame and you are not gross. You are not what has happened to you, you are not defined by someone else's actions. Also you are CERTAINLY not responsible for whether or not it happens to other people - I'm not surprised you found...

That makes sense to me! You really do desperately search for anything that could mean a shred of safety when you're feeling at your most unsafe. At one point during it I remember seeing someone was on the TV and thinking "maybe there's some way somehow that they can tell this is happening to me...

That's a good point @Beks - an interesting way of looking at it. Not feeling "pity" for them as such, but turning the tables. Yeah me too. But that's because thinking they have just decided/ended up being like that without any traumatic experience, takes away any empathy I could have for them...

I didn't report mine because it was effectively date r*pe the first time...but after that I went back and even though I still strongly didn't consent, it happened again and again. I don't know why I went back. Well I do, but it's a very complicated emotional thing and I was quite mentally unwell...

Thank you for your replies. I ended up completely breaking down in tears to my boyfriend. It turns out that another part of why it feels so wrong on my birthday is that I feel (this is not to say it is true about other people) that if people knew what happened, they wouldn't want to give me...

Today is my birthday. Nothing bad has happened on my birthday and I am grateful for that. So why have I been freaking out about it for weeks and now it's here feel a weird emptiness? I (sometimes quite insistently) didn't want people to do things to celebrate my birthday - I felt like I was...

I'm sorry about what happened to you @The ANP. Yeah it's very different kind of trauma. It's a good idea to try to work on that sort of thinking, it just....takes a lot of work huh!! I also think part of me is more devastated by the flatmate walking in, in the middle of it and not doing what I...

Evanescence - Snow White Queen Stoplight, lock the door. Don't look back. Undress in the dark, and hide from you, all of you. You'll never know the way your words have haunted me. I can't believe you'd ask these things of me. You don't know me, now or ever. Wake up in a dream, frozen in fear...

I do this, all the time. I do this about trauma, about my eating disorder, my difficulties relating to my mum's illness/parents divorce. I strongly believe in this. I have recently posted about not understanding why the emotionally abusive aspects of the (mainly) sexual abuse I experienced...

@The ANP - I'm so sorry that happened to you. Yeah, I'm someone who used to believe that everyone is inherently good. It feels sh*t to think that people who do that think it's ok etc. - because that suggests that there could be a lot more people like that, that anyone could do that. But it also...

Pahhahaha @Friday - they'd have believed that as well cos I'm terrified of them!! Typical that at the time I wasn't in the best of frames of mind so couldn't think of anything to say...not a word!

Thank you @WildernessScout for your encouragement. It's really hard and I'm a complete mess at the moment....even though it's been like 4 years. The whole aspect of it where you do things that seem not to make sense, and that enable the abuse to continue totally baffles me. I wouldn't blame...

Thank you all for your replies. It helps to know that even though it doesn't make sense to me right now, other people have similar experience/feeling. Yeah totally. It makes it more than someone having lost their temper/it somehow seems more calculated. Sometimes in my flashbacks of the actual...

I love her stuff anyway, but these songs really get me because they ring so true, particularly about the complexities of abuse in a relationship. The Glass Child - I'll Never Tell It's quiet now... Broken glass and pieces of me on the floor I hear you now, please don't be angry anymore I'm...

I find it hard to talk about any of it, but I am trying to write/type because I really need some support/understanding/insight into this. This is a kind of very much abridged version, and I can't write a lot of it so I've just sort of...implied. Basically when I was 19, I was dating a guy I met...

This is a reassuring song for me. In fact my boyfriend played it to me, for me. It's well worth listening to, as it's beautiful. KT Tunstall - Heal Over It isn't very difficult to see why you are the way you are Doesn't take a genius to realise that sometimes life is hard It's gonna take time...

It will be thoroughly worth your while!!

I suppose they are, I guess it makes people feel more comfortable with what are often very uncomfortable topics/concepts to consider to be real. I use humour to cope with my eating disorder and OCD a lot - it's how I manage them, it's how I address them with other people and it's how I reduce...

In the past week or so, I've realised that I have a lot more triggers than I previously thought. Weirdly they seem to be mostly about things around what happened than the actual "thing(s)". I never realised before how completely crippled I am by fear of these objects/situations/words on a daily...

Me too! I LOVE Sia, how emotive her voice is and her lyrics are amazing. My favourite songs at the moment are Alive, The Greatest (for trying to encourage myself), Unstoppable and Broken Glass (it's also on her new album). And I've always loved and related to Breathe Me and Chandelier. I can...

30 Seconds to Mars - Was It A Dream? Was it a dream? Was it a dream? Is this the only evidence that proves it? A photograph of you and I... Your reflection I've erased like a thousand burned out yesterdays Believe me when I say goodbye forever is for good. The Glass Child - Hit The Ground (NB...

I swear this song is literally written about trauma...well at least that is how I relate to most of it (the bits I have included below). Evanescence - Understanding "You hold the answers deep within your own mind. Consciously, you've forgotten it. That's the way the human mind works. Whenever...

I don't know how I haven't actually posted on this thread before, as I basically can only talk about how I feel about my trauma through lyrics and express feelings through music...but hey, here we are. I thought I'd start with songs by RED - there are SO many songs that I relate to for varying...