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Vulnerability hangovers are the worst. Giving yourself whatever you feel like you need is the best way to recover from them. You opened up the wound and now it just needs some care from you. Awesome job by the way. It doesn't feel worth it in the immediate aftermath when you need to walk out of...

I like those things. My T has also given me pieces of her story that are very similar to mine and that has made me feel understood and able to say more than I would otherwise. I did talk to her about what I wrote here. I think we got to the crux of the issue which is that I can't feel...

Same here. And I wish I could switch off the denial but I can't because of how abstract my flashbacks have been. But not believing myself is my number one hurdle because I often don't believe my feelings are valid or that I'm allowed to have them.

Same for me @tontoe. It has been the hardest part and my T does the same. I sometimes wonder why anyone would make this stuff up. What would be the point? I'm not looking to get anyone in trouble. I'm only looking to get well and handle the symptoms better so I can enjoy life... sometimes that...

I struggle with that as well. I imagine many of us do. It's hard to feel dependent on someone. And somehow we are supposed to feel that in order for the therapeutic relationship to rewire our brains. It's all attachment stuff and it's hard to navigate. That's why it's up to the T to set and hold...

I don't think you have crossed any lines whatsoever. I tend to agree that it's a good thing and speaks to the comfort and strength that the relationship brings you. The internet is public. Anything your T puts online is fair game and I highly doubt he has not considered this when posting. The...

:hug: That's such good news!!!!

Will you be able to start with someone new? Sounds like you need a much better fit so you feel emotionally supported. I'm sorry it hasn't been that way for you. And your answer really did line up with everything I experience.

Oh, it's not new found insight. I've known it all along. I do forget and wonder where I'm going wrong and need to be reminded though. Which is what she does. So that I dont fall into the mindset that I'm actually failing therapy. Everything you wrote makes perfect sense and is exactly how I...

My T responded to my email about being a failure at therapy saying I'm afraid of emotions if all sorts, so I get stuck. But not to give up or isolate. I don't know if it's the same for you. And I have no idea how to get to the bottom of feeling afraid of emotions. :confused:

This is something I've gone back and forth on as well. For the same reasons. @mrsmegan I think the things you do want to tell him are really important.

Yes. Symptoms of CSA. No knowledge of any until I was in college and some flashbacks happened before I knew flashbacks were a thing. I hesitate to ever share specifics with anyone (family, husband especially) because I won't incriminate someone unless I'm sure. And I don't think I'll ever be...

I have no idea if my memories are true. Sometimes I'm convinced they aren't. Sometimes I think they might be. I'm never convinced they are true. It has been a massive battle for me. As @Ragdoll Circus said, how would it be possible to have all of the symptoms? I had the symptoms before the...

I don't think you need to keep the emotions "in check." I think you should feel what you feel. You deserve that much. And the therapy space is for that purpose. Keep us posted! You're doing a really good thing for yourself. Words can be hard to say but you're taking incremental steps to freedom.

Oh man, I wish I had advice. I haven't done EMDR. But I have the exact same experience in therapy. I literally just emailed my T two days ago saying I'm failing therapy. For the same reasons you state. And like you, I keep going back. I keep trying. I do everything I can- but I just sit there...

I can't handle SC in movies or tv shows at all. I've been happily married for 15.5 years, and my husband tends to gravitate toward things that would be disturbing for me to watch (Like True Blood for instance). My issues don't come from insecurity, however I do have panic attacks and am super...

I bet there would be more people to talk with you about this on the therapy forum. What you're experiencing is totally normal. Stick with it and you'll get there. It can be a really long process but if you're with a therapist you like, with whom you feel safe, you will probably connect more...

What does the email exchange usually look like? Mine often asks me to email her. I do, once or twice a month. Usually it's short. If it ever gets longer than a paragraph I ask her to print it and bring it to session so she doesn't need to use time outside of session on it. (Any time I have done...

I don't think you can equate therapy to a class on how to behave. I think the change has to be fundamental and change doesn't usually happen without an emotional component. Therapy is a relationship. Otherwise I think completing a workbook or something along those lines would be enough. Just my...

I have that happen only when something intense is going on around me and I get almost tunnel vision. I can't think or move. When I come out of it (when I'm alone) I usually experience extremely painful emotions. One time the shut down part happened with my T and she called it flooding.

Way to go. You're being really brave and this is a massive step forward. I can imagine only good things will come of it. Even if you dissociate, going forward your husband will be able to support you better. So don't put a massive amount of pressure on yourself to do it "right." It's not really...

Sounds like you made the right choice. I can't imagine it was easy, but in the long run I hope it's what you need. Sometimes starting over can be a good thing. You'll get a new perspective without all of the frustration from your current T clouding everything. Keep us posted?

Can you ask your T those questions? How is talking supposed to help? What can I do to get through the here and now so that I feel like healing is even possible? She may not realize you can't utilize her suggestions right now. I had to tell mine that. I had to explain that I can't use her...

That's what I did. Over time, through emails, I have communicated everything. And it's the same for me- I am grateful she has the information. And if she ever brings any of it up she always prefaces it by asking if I'm ok to talk about it and if I'm not, we talk about why I'm not, instead. Thank...

I'm in a season of being triggered by physical pain after a medical procedure (due to slow healing after childbirth) and I know how draining it is. I've always dealt with triggers but never have I been consistently dealing with the same one for months without a break. I, too, feel very alone in...