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I encourage reading "A voice in the wind" An Echo in the darkness" "Mark of the lion" Francine Rivers. It is a trilogy.

Yes,it is well worth thinking about. Anger raises your blood pressure. Hence,your heartbeat. My grandfather and sister tried to kill me. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. My heartbeat is a personal trigger for me. Remaining calm is a certain must for me. You have to dig...

I wasn't suggesting Lucycat to force the issue. Lucycat stated she will never forgive or forget her sister in law's reaction. If she wants to harbor resentments she is free to do so. I offered a positive solution and perspective. It was met with the same resistance. So be it. :)

Has anyone heard of a faraday cage? While flying in an airplane thunder strikes the plane without causing damage to its passengers. That is how I protected my heart. In the mist of all their thunder (stupidity) I fiercely protected my heart. I protected my heart from their anger and shame. Their...

OK. So you are happier writing her off as a lost cause?

If you don't see the above quote as an unresolved anger issue that certainly is your right. It is your life. I am sharing how I process anger. Ironically there are people in this thread who are angry and/or defensive I am not angry!!! Peace to all.:joyful:

I respect your right to feel the way you feel. We process pain differently..that's all. I was mortified I was the kid with the crazy mother. She tried shaming my friends as well. It was her norm to lock all of us out of the house and refused to give us water. Neighbor kids were not allowed at...

Is there a chance you can allow your empowerment to extend to the general public? To people like your sister in law. Together you and your sister in law can help lift the silence and taboo surrounding sexual abuse.

Willful ignorance on her part. Perhaps,she has issues she hasn't dealt with. It could be many things. Sounds like an excellent opportunity for you to empower yourself and share sexual abuse awareness. :)

Take that a step further. Do you want to be driven by peace or anger? In another thread...or maybe this one...lol.. I shared I want (ed) to dig up my grandfathers grave to stomp it through the center of the earth (core) sending him on his way to the moon! I quickly realized he isn't worth my...

My abusers can heap their shame on me all day long and I am still going to understand it is their shame.

What I see in this thread are the many ways people try to rationalize their anger. Where there is anger there is always pain underneath. You have to go to the core. Justme tried comparing it in a psychical sense. OK. Think of a planters wart on your foot. You have to get the very last seed or...

I have already shared how I feel. Am I correct in assuming you now enjoy your anger and want to keep it so you can continue helping your cause?

Do you believe you need to carry your anger around the rest of your life to reach your goal for change?

True. Lets focus on anger. How does it make you feel and why?

How does anyone become angry? What has to happen?

Absolutely! Thank you for sharing Muzikluvr.

Emotions are powerful. Grounding yourself is bringing yourself back to reality. The here and now. Where you decide to go from there is your choice. Some people dwell in sadness others in anger or shock and many use humor. I have used humor all my life and will extend its usefulness recovering...

IMHO Grounding is flicking the switch. That is how you reject negative feelings. It is the moment of discernment. :) @Jess At some point you are going to have to look past all the hurts scars and trauma you have been through. And just be. Be you. You just graduated. Sounds like you're off to a...

That is just it. If you have enough shame heaped on you,you understand the difference. You can flip a switch and tune it out. Me and my childhood best friend did it all the time we had many laughs! As a rule I always went to her house. My family is nuts it deeply embarrassed me. As time passed...

Yes,we have discussed anger. I don't have anger issues. My T understands I understand the grief process. My family is batsh!t crazy. I accept that. I have always accepted that. That is half the battle. You cannot control people you can only understand them. Why anyone remains angry over...

Sure you do. You are controlling your emotions at this very minute. Matter a fact your emotions have determined your attitude and negative vibe in your post. LOL We can't control PTS...that I'll give you.@Muse. I cannot answer your question because it doesn't describe how I feel.

You must learn to get in touch with the innermost essence of your being. This true essence is beyond the ego. It is fearless; it is free; it is immune to criticism; it does not fear any challenge. It is beneath no one, superior to no one, and full of magic, mystery, and enchantment.” —Deepak Chopra

Oh my!! I freed my anger years ago. Sometimes during the abuse itself. That IS why I feel joy!!!!!!! They picked the wrong little girl and they know it. With understanding cometh peace.

It is not about my feelings.