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See, for me, healthy relationships have been nonexistent. I’m starting some really good ones with friends and family I’ve reconnected with but it’s slow-going and I’m still treading lightly. I think I have all this pent-up caring, you know? And wanting to speak my mind and I never could when I...

You don’t think it’s about learning to build a relationship with someone? This isn’t some machine you’re talking to, it’s another human being. Initially upon reading your comment I felt a bit guilty for even posting this, like I was somehow wrong for telling another person what’s working for me...

Like negative AND positive. Do you say or write that to your t? Why or why not? I’ve started doing that with my current one and I love it.

I totally get that and I would mention that as well! It takes a lot of courage to open up about something hurtful someone else does. I hope you can recognize that and be proud of that. To share it here and with her. Anything you do is completely ok. Whenever I’m undecided I try to do what’s...

Is it possible you’re looking for an out? You haven’t addressed these issues with her so it’s not exactly surprising that they are showing up again. Now if you had told her all these things and she STILL did them, yeah, that would severely piss me off and I’d walk away most likely. Mention the...

This sounds amazing and so does your t! I want to go there!

Haha yeah, kind of. But he did it himself and likes it so it’s cool. At least he has a window. Last t didn’t have one.

I totally think and feel that way, too. But you can think that way and STILL do try something new. You can believe your old thoughts and still entertain the idea you’re wrong. And I think the only way to get out of that pattern is to challenge it in these really uncomfortable ways. And see that...

Why can’t you do the homework? What if you just let the pressure go and just do what you can, in this very moment? If she questions really stump you just write that out for the answer. It’s not meant to be as hard as you’re making it. From the mind of a healing perfectionist, do what you can...

Omg I did this, too. Like I wrote out topics and freaked out and handed them to him and I had forgotten a few complaints I had about him, with lots of swearing, was on the sheet lol! Like I wrote it for me, like notes to self to read but felt so much anxiety. I think he felt bad, he apologized...

I’m so very sorry for how you had to live! It’s not fair, it’s not ok, and I’m glad you have your t to show you that you are worthy. I have no clue how to be accepting towards someone’s caring. My current t too gets that weird look in his eyes! Like a gooey affection that’s so sincere. I...

My mother was a bipolar, alcoholic mess who saw me when she needed to cry on me and have me tell her how amazing she was only to not believe me and when I would tell her how much I loved her (cause she often told me she was gonna kill herself) that she didn’t believe that, either. I existed to...

I doubt she reminded you she will be gone because she doesn’t trust you. Seems like more something a t would do for everyone so they are aware and can plan accordingly. And it’s also likely she didn’t even read the email yet. I know mine once replied saying he got it and replied a couple days...

Yes! Everything gets magnified there!!! It’s incredibly normal for you to feel all those things. And I can’t help but notice the similarity between you feeling disregarded by you mother and talking about that when AT THE SAME TIME your t is seemingly disregarding you in real time by being...

Omg I love this idea. Perfect! Satisfies my overthinking brain, too. Thank you!! He wants me to be very gentle and patient and ask myself the questions in a loop as a way of getting to the core of the questions but I keep getting hung up.

My t wants to help get me out of my thinking brain and gave me an exercise to do that consists of 3 questions to ask myself for a week, whenever I think of it and I’m overthinking it lol! They are: What are you doing? (And I don’t even know what that means. In life? Right this moment? There...

In my own experience I find that the anger part stays way longer than the embarrassment and shame. And your t’s reaction will help with those feelings.

Used to? How did you get it to stop? I’m working on just being reassuring to myself. How nothing is wrong with me, I’m ok, how it’s so good that I’m able to let down my guard more there and of course that’s gonna come with some worry about what anyone (not specifically him) thinks about that...

I’ve decided that I can’t really trust my thoughts on this because they are so habitual with this kind of thing. The fact that it’s a pattern is what’s making it untrue. So to trust my feelings (which is hard work). After our session I realized how much I need to just practice self-compassion...

Gave myself a huge dose of self-compassion this morning so I’m feeling way better.

It’s happening again with new t. Nooooooooo!!! We had such a good rapport! Now I think he thinks I’m annoying and batshit crazy and just no! Not again! I told him if that happened with him (cause I told him about transference with old t) that I would be really open and honest but I can’t...

So just had the double session. I thought I was gonna puke I was so nervous! Wasted first 30 minutes by having him talk about whatever until I said my own stuff. Omg. And the list of things I went in there to say I never even said. I talked about how freaked out I was by all the pressure I...

It was well-received! :)

That was a cool idea (and nice loophole) to get her something for the baby!!! Yeah, I think my gift will be fine, it’s so meager. I think I just overanalyze!!

Oh no way! She couldn’t accept that?? I actually considered giving something similar to my last t. I never did give her anything though. I don’t know why. Good for you for trying again! I think I would’ve never tried again!