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Waiting in the wings. Great description of what it feels like at times. I have developed a lot of patience wit this. Not necessarily a bad thing. But I wish he was direct and wanted to talk about things, like you. But he doesn’t and won’t. I’m past, if I’ve sensed something was up and...

Yep, he’s very indirect and won’t talk about anything. And he’s very definitely avoiding me, was hard to describe details, but it was really clear (it’s happened many, many times before, but he always comes back after a time and tries to be friendly). In early days, he used to sort of apologize...

I have a friend with combat PTSD and he sometimes seems to need major space from me. Recent example: I encountered him randomly in the woods hiking, and I know he saw me but went way out of his way to steer clear of me and waited until I was in my car and driving away before he went to his...

It is for sure. I have thought about letting him go a few times definitely.... He’s a good guy with a good heart. I suspect there is childhood trauma accounting for some of the “testing” and mind games. It’s not been terrible, the good has always outweighed the bad by a wide margin. If that...

My friend with PTSD has high expectations of others, including me. It seems to cause most of the problems in our friendship—I don’t live up to one of his expectations and he gets irritated. He ‘tests’ me at times apparently. A while ago, he told me he ‘tested’ me when he stopped communicating...

That’s interesting... That makes sense.

Just wondering about this: if you’re physically feeling unwell (cold or other illness) do you find you are more symptomatic or have more trouble coping? I would think maybe, but don’t want to presume, I’m still learning. Been giving a friend extra space right now; sort of seems like he needs...

I’m not sure what ‘normal’ is, but two of the things that I seem to notice some sufferers talk about here (that I don’t identify with) is a fear of feeling emotion and inability to identify what emotion they’re feeling. (Would you agree, or maybe you can explain it better?) I would say that I...

@anthony Thanks for your thoughtful answers. He really won't discuss anything with me; he's extremely private, so to even bring up some of this would likely cause him to retreat. I'm not his girlfriend, so am not really entitled to get right into things with him; doesn't mean I can't set...

@Sophy Very thoughtful answer. Thinking of it as “fake vs real” instead of “nice vs not nice” is very helpful for supporters I think. Won’t end up taking it so personally.

@Friday I am curious, but he will absolutely not talk about anything military-related. Only know where he served, won’t discuss why he left, or even anything really about the military. I sort of wondered if that was where he learned it. Thanks.

@Kubash16 I agree with you on this. I've always had pretty close, platonic guy friends all my life, mostly when single (but still have a few close ones I keep in touch with) and I've been sad that we as people, can't continue this as easily once in a relationship. I have an amazing man, he...

@Kubash16 Thanks. I may have ditched him long ago had I not encountered this site. He (self-admittedly) is an ass at times, (but I've seen such good with him, I know he's a good person). When I got to understand things better, it's been much easier to have compassion and understanding. And...

@Junebug I started this as a more general thread to possibly help supporters, but it's turned into an in depth analysis of my personal situation. I feel a bit bad! Appreciate the help though. My relationship is excellent actually, I've got a great one, am very lucky. Been together a long...

@lostforgottensoul I did almost let him go a while ago but he convinced me not to. ?

@lostforgottensoul Does it muck up the situation if I tell you he has had feelings for me?

@lostforgottensoul Yes, with someone else. He’s been an important part of my life for another reason (long story), but it's the reason I care about him and how he’s doing. Never together, he knows we can’t be, doesn’t want to mess up my relationship, has never crossed a line and don’t...

Fortunately I go off on tangents myself sometimes (just generally my own tangents!) so I’m good with going off but then coming back. And yes, I’m not sure how to say something! I’m not sure joking about it will go over well. Not very thick-skinned (but man, has he ever expected me to be! Good...

Yes, they did a great job with responses. Very helpful. And yes, you're thread is excellent! Your insight is always really helpful with excellent descriptions of how you're feeling/what you're thinking. Have learned A LOT. That thread should be permanently at the top for all newbie supporters...

This resonates. He's ex-military and he’s the most observant person I’ve ever met. He does remember what I’m saying later, so yes, I think he’s taking it all in. And we don't divert either. He sometimes is just quick to jump in and keeps asking questions as I'm trying to answer, which makes it...

Your description sounds like what I’ve imagined is happening... How would you guys word it so I don’t offend or upset him? He’s pretty sensitive. Cannot take even light teasing (even though he dishes it himself!) so I don’t tease him at all anymore. He seems to embarrasses easily and it...

From what I understand, impulsive behavior and impulse control can be an issue with PTSD. Interrupting is considered to be a bit of an impulse control issue, and I've read it can be related to anxiety. I have a friend with PTSD who will very frequently, interrupt me, right in the middle of a...

Ah, I see what you're getting at. I'll just say--yes, he's admitted a long time ago to having feelings for me, but he says he compartmentalizes it as I'm unavailable and can't/won't reciprocate. (Where did he learn the term compartmentalize? I hadn't heard it before...) I guess the trend...

@EveHarrington In answering this, some slightly identifiable information might be mentioned for both of us, so if there was a way, I'd rather answer directly to you privately...but new on here so not sure if there is even a way to do that. I kind of figure there isn't....but unsure. I don't...

I’m not a counsellor/therapist but I am a health care professional in a hospital, and it does sadden me sometimes how professional boundaries prevent us from being a human being sometimes. I’m older now, but when I first graduated I had a young man just about my age I had to treat. He was...