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I have been thinking that maybe my guy doesn't feel safe himself so of course he can't make me feel safe...and the idea of him feeling so incapable makes me even more scared. I am sorry you're going through this too...and with a little baby. For sure I feel like I can survive on my own but it...

I don't really like the way you wrote your post. It was abrasive and not really helpful. I didn't say he was the first guy I met, I also didn't say how long we have been together or that I am passively being with him, it's a choice and it's willful. About the wedding. It's practically paid for...

It makes a lot of sense. I should be honest here that I actually according to him meet his needs and make him really happy except on a physical level. Everyone is pretty happy unless I am in need everything is pretty much fine. We have a pretty great life it's just that I want things that he...

You said that so well, thank you for that. It took a while for me to get to that point...its a conditioned response...him yelling and screaming and crying is enough to make me choose silence. I could have fought back though but I chose not to because of the kids. I am just going to go into...

I do. I feel like for other people that is a standard they should hold. But for someone that is broken I am not so sure. it's like can you ask for things that maybe your brokenness does not allow you to give?

He is getting mixed messages from me. I call him my fiance because the wedding is still planned and being paid for and I broke up with him and asked him to leave but he has refused to do so. I say we are done and he goes on as if things are the same. If I never say anything again he won't...

Wow, you worded this so well..it's so hard because unless I say I point out that his ignoring me or disregarding me is hurting he says nothing...but the minute I do he's like it hurts me that you can't see that I love you. I think to myself sometimes when I don't say anything.."why can't you see...

This is my only relationship. I have friends, family, I go to graduate school, and work. I travel frequently to see family and friends and do have issues specifically c-ptsd and some disassociation but I have done a lot of work. I feel like it may be true that my primary relationship to me...

I feel like I am not replying correctly. So I will try here: @Friday I realize that him and I are different. I realize I have specific wants and needs and I was able to bring these things down to the most basic needs I have. I then expressed these things to him and have done so for some time...

I mean that he falls apart, starts crying, gets angry, this in turn gets me to not open up at all to close myself off which makes him more comfortable. It is co-dependency on his part. I know it is. He percieves me as strong...like a survivor or something and I feel he leans up against that...

Thanks for saying that...I have been honest with him, I ask for what I want, I am clear and direct and have been so. I can't not be that way. His response is that he doesn't understand why I can't see how much he loves me, cares, etc...so this plays on my own insecurities like if I don't know...

Jagem, It's hard for me to socialize too...that trust thing for me is like I never know if they will use my openness against me if they will exploit it because if they do then maybe I won't be able to come back from that..maybe that will push me over the edge. So I find myself keeping a lot of...

I am worried that I don't know anything but abuse. That I can't see how great everything is in my own life because I want to be abused. I really don't though or I am confused about it all. I want to feel safe really badly which seems really stupid. Safe to me means being accepted, understood...

I have c-ptsd too...I want to be connected too but my partner only cares about physical touch and pretty much ignores or tries to suppress the rest of me. When he touches me I feel sick and have been reeling from him being all over me last night..I don't know if this is because of the c-ptsd or...

I wasn't prepared for that. I really appreciate you sharing your story. In the box thing omg...I always feel like my feelings are a stormy ocean locked inside me. I can't imagine letting it out...but sometimes it leaks and it's a bitch.

Wow. Me too. I have this..and the interesting thing is that when I with someone that is open and accepting of me like this...all of a sudden I super present and aware of myself...like no longer disassociated but in my body and unafraid. This is a new experience for me...but I feel like the not...

10/26/16 I feel like again I am lost in the woods. I feel like I have been here for a very long time. I guess it's just a mix of feelings but I think maybe I have just found the right direction to walk. I'll call it west and I'll assume I'm in the Eastern Woodlands which means I am going to...

I think about death and dying daily too. I am not sure if it's a good thing or bad thing. It's just how I've been for so long. Are you seeing a T? If so..I would probably bring it up there. Sometimes when I travel I try to get things in order before I go ..I have no idea where this comes...

I feel like I should be over it but I am not. I wish I could feel safety outside of this random connection with a married man but I don't. I wish I could get over it but it just keeps growing, a darkness looming under the surface, a deep ocean wildly thrashing about inside me, water only leaking...