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*Hugs* All the best for you - it'sgreat that you've been able to be so honest :) x

Not discussed with him, worried how he'd react, but I guess I've started to let him in by being honest about the abuse, hopefully things will be easier in the future...

I freeze if he tries to cuddle me from behind! He always initiates any intimacy and I don't reciprocate as too busy trying to keep flashbacks at bay, repeating in my head over and over that I'm safe now... We've been together 2 1/2 yrs and never had sex, he hasn't pushed, but I feel like I'm...

*Hugs* thanks for sharing. It's so hard to think things can be different and what was abusive 20 years ago can be pleasurable now??!! So messed up!!! I trust him, but I can't help how I react... I've had a lot of visual and somatic flashbacks when he's tried to be intimate in the past... This...

Been trying to write this post for days, unsuccessfully!!... Well, after T pushing for over a year that I told my man about sexual abuse and her giving up trying as I wasn't prepared to... Finally, on Wed I had to tell him. We'd been away at the weekend, he did something sensual and I reacted...

So, yesterday was 1st day of taking lamotrigine... I didn't sleep at all!! :( I really miss the sedative powers of quetiapine that knocks me out within an hour for a solid 8 hours :( I have mitazapine to take to help sleep if needed - think I'll be taking it tonight!! & I have a feeling diazepam...

Thanks @d-art1lot really appreciate it :) x

Thanks @d-art13 my therapist is pretty awesome and genuinely cares :) she's seen me on and Off for the last 2 years and has helped me a lot with trauma work and is not put off by my complexity that a lot of professionals are... Trying to look after me - I've spent a lot of time with the family...

Thanks @d-art13 ;) I therapist fortnightly. Am seeing her on Tues :) She knows what's going on at the mo as I keep in touch with her between sessions via text. She's been checking in with me a lot as when I saw her 2 week's ago I admitted I was low & hadn't contacted her as didn't want to worry...

Your psychologist should write a letter to your New psychologist. This has happened to me in the past, and I had a copy of the letter sent (which was quite accurate and detailed - very different to my discharge letter...) In fact, I make sure I have a copy of any letters written about me - I...

@spookedlife - I agree therapy is so important, I wouldn't be able to function without it! ;) But medication has helped too...

@d-art13 - my concern is around flashbacks returning and hypervigilence that quetiapine stopped... Eeek! My hope is that I've dealt with the trauma enough in therapy for them not to return. My PTSD was not even mentioned when I saw psychiatrist - she couldn't see past me having a personality...

This is why I hate psychiatrists! Not at all caring! :( & I'd never lash out & be melodramatic - even @ my fullest 10yrs ago! *sigh* This is why. I hate BPD diagnosis as so diverse & no 2 sufferers are the same... :(

*Hugs* I know a couple of people who have been diagnosed with BPD who are now married, one of which has children. In fact, the therapy I went through 10yrs ago for BPD had a lot of married people with a family. Don't ask me how as I'm diagnosed with BPD but it's not the instability and...

*hugs* I agree with Brat17 ~ sounds like fibromyalgia :( I was recently diagnosed. It's very often linked with trauma & psychological stuff. It feels like pain in my muscles all over :( Some days are worse than others. It's definitely worse when I'm stressed... Xxx

Thanks for all your replies :) @cherryblossom - my therapist is a psychologist. I've been seeing her on and off for 2 1/2 years. She's the only one that's helped me when the NHS has turned me away. I currently see her privately, but for free... My PTSD symptoms are a lot better since we've...

Finally saw the psych today. Usually I go with my therapist, but went on my own. Really wish I hadn't :( I felt totally judged - she couldn't see past my BPD diagnosis, despite the fact that last time I saw her she said I was on the bipolar spectrum as well... Urgh!!! So, aripiprazole she put me...

I am a teacher and know this tussle all too well :( I had 4months Off 2 yrs ago and everyone changed how they were towards we when I went back, I even fell out with my supposed best friend... :( I started a new job tho in September and love it - I can be me... Those who need to know I suffer...

I'm only on quetiapine 100mg at the moment... Was supposed to be taking aripiprazole/abilify but I didn't tolerate it well :( Should be seeing psych soon & hoping she adds in a mood stabilizer... I can't tolerate quetiapine at a high enough dose to be one

*huggles* it was a reputation as being very addictive sadly when it works so well :( I still have some left as emergency if needed as it works so quickly when I'm anxious/ it helps so well with sleep xzz

*hugs* I'm in the same place 'RE weight - I have put on 4 stone :'( Boo!!! Off diazepam now and back on quetiapine - luckily it's sedating me enough to not need diazepam :)

So, after about 6 week's Off quetiapine, trying to change over to the evil drug that is aripiprazole, I'm back on it again... :) :) :) Yes, it's still up in the air as to whether it caused my manic spell or if that was purely coincidence, but hey, it's working already after just 2 days of being...

From a sufferer of borderline just wanted to say hugs and it's not as scary as it sounds x

Hugs!! I was in quetiapine for flashbacks and changed when it made me manic so going back on it. It seems to work well for me. Maybe u need to Inc quetiapine? X

Back on quetiapine yey! So relieved!X