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What I try to remind myself (and my students when I am teaching them mindfulness meditation) is that "the purpose of the mind is to think." My mind is always going a mile a minute! Meditation does not always result in "inner peace" or stillness ... and that's okay! You are not a "bad meditator"...

Calm and anxious at the same time

T today My team at work for holding down the fort My special forum friends

Someday I will Be strong enough To face the past Soon

I'm sorry you went through this, Maria. You are very strong to have made it out of the organization/cult. And you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are a good person, you are whole, and deserving.

Nervous, anxious and resentful

Took a walk! Finally!

dry, sore throat. :(:inpain::dead:

@barefoot and @ladee, many, many years ago I wrote a letter to my body, as a place to get started. Can you imagine doing that for just one body part, not necessarily the one you feel the most disconnected to, or the one that has the most pain. For me, the most "benign" body part is my right big...

Hi, @Renegade26. I "liked" you post to show solidarity. I had something similar done to me when I was 4 going on 5, but it was not nearly as bad as your experience. It was at a time when I was being molested by an older boy in the neighborhood, my mom was pregnant and my parents were fighting. I...

... and anxious

It's Ghiardelli chocolate, all the way from San Francisco!

Yes, it now stays light until about 8 p.m., fortunately!

Got on the forums!

Amen to that, sister!

Sadly, I'm at work on this gorgeous day. But obviously not working ...

Niiiice

When can you get back the drawing and music?

When everything is going smoothly, you feel hopeful, even, and then, just for fun, you trigger your own damn self just because you don't know how to sit with contentment. And when, after triggering yourself you feel inordinantly proud that you used your grounding skills in public effectively.

OMG, will have to play that will my group of friends. One has a very large Victorian house with lots of places to hide ... Does anyone like those mystery dinner games? Might be triggering, I guess, but I played in one once and it was so fun to get dressed up like the 20s and solve a "murder."

Yes, drawing and music are very healing. ¡Good insight, Mariiiiaaaaa!

Hopeful ...

Prayers, hugs AND chocolate for ALL! Hee hee

Good insight Maria, buena visíon. Does your husband know your history? Is he supportive of you when his mother comes to visit? You've talked about her before, how hard it is for you when she's around. I don't have any advice but it sounds like you are figuring things out on your own. I'm proud...

So sorry to hear what you are going through! That's some intense shit to have so many things happening at once. I hope you get lots of support in the "real world," as well as the support I know you'll find here on the forums. Sending prayers and gentle hugs, if you accept them, chocolate if not!