Search results

Yes, 'lucky' isn't how I feel either today. But, it is good we are alive and can have the chance to gain some healing from it all. :hug:

(((((Hugs))))) to anyone who needs one.

Numb, disconnected, let down, like I'm not worthy of needed help.

Rainy_daze, I am really glad you are now getting the much needed help you have had to wait for. ((((hugs)))). And hugs to you ((((Greenfrog2)))).

It seems there are such similarities in the way bad parents single out one child, usually the eldest for the worst abuse, neglecting all the children, forcing that child to be a mother to her siblings, and then blaming that child, who never had a childhood, for anything and everything. Then...

Debbet, I totally understand and feel your pain. My heart goes out to you and anyone faced with this. It hurts so badly and whilst I do believe I may never be whole in the way a person who had not survived trauma is, we can achieve a degree of healing that can provide a quality of life that...

Knowing that my pdoc thinks I should be in hospital right now, but as we don't have a high enough income (due to my inability to work due to severe PTSD) to afford private medical insurance, I can only be admitted in the public system if I'm actively suicidal. So, basically when you are poor...

I agree Philippa. Abstract, your Mother wanted to ruin your sisters wedding and hurt both of you in the process. It's appalling she would do that to you both. I've often thought my mother was jealous of the relationship I had with my sisters and needed so badly to destroy that. It seems your...

Thanks Movin'On, very detailed reports have been submitted rom my counselling centre and a psych doc. I'm glad yours got approved with the help of a letter from your T :) They obviously saw sense.

I think being blamed for my sister's sexual abuse is more damaging than anything my parents did directly to me. I would have willingly taken any abuse from anyone (and did later on during my worst trauma period), if it meant my sisters were spared and protected. I virtually brough my sisters up...

I'm very glad you are okay. It's such painfully horrible stuff :hug:

Big hugs ((((Philippa)))). I'm sorry my stuff triggered you. I hope you are okay?

Thank you Abstract and MD :inlove:

Thank you Philippa and Ms Spock. Yes, they did fail in many more ways, in fact in nearly every way possible. And the sad thing is, I kept on going back for more, trying to buy their love, giving them money etc all through my 20's, allowing them to blame and shame me over and over, but...

Thank you Ms Spock for validating that. It was one of the main reasons I tried to end my life as a teenager, I hated myself for letting my sister down. Then when I ended up in hospital due the suicide attempt, my parents were annoyed and labelled me a drama queen. One of my recurring...

Thank you dear Abstract :hug: It's Sunday evening here now, so it's tomorrow I'll be going to see my doc. Was hoping to convince her that I'm okay and don't need hospital. My dissociation stuff is pretty bad though, so not sure I'll be able to avoid having to go in. Thank you for your...

Thanks Springer80. Me too.

When you're getting your kids out of the pool and your 3 year old who can't swim, jumps back in the pool without his floaty vest on, and you jump in to get him out, but as it all happened - it was like the whole thing happened in slow motion with no feelings of panic, no emotional reaction, just...

I slept okay last night, didn't wake up with terrible nightmares - as is my usual nightly experience. Good old Seroquel.

(((((MD))))). It must be very hard having your home as a trigger for distressing memories and emotions. Your home needs to be a safe place and when it doesn't feel safe, it will bother you a lot. I don't know how you can turn your home back into a safe place, but I really hope that happens...

The metabolism thing is a nightmare when medication also causes it to slow down. That on top of an already wrecked metabolism is like a double whammy. I'm on 2 meds again that cause weight gain, and I'm now scared to eat anything. And too tired from the meds to go to the gym to work any of it...

I'm sorry to hear your Mom is in hospital and you are having trouble finding out what's happening. I really hope she is getting good care and is okay. I can understand this is very upsetting and stressful. (((((PL))))))

Thank you Britt.f7. I really don't want to go, but lots of people do go through it and are okay. Safety is a priority and I'm lucky to have people around me who care, wanting the best for me.

It is definitely a control thing. I use food as a reward and punishment for myself as well. If I'm not feeling good, I'll withold food. It's all related to previous abuse. I can see so clearly that I'm hurting myself the way I was hurt before, but I keep on doing it to myself.

Thank you :hug: I will be thinking of everyone too :inlove: