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Seems like yesterday. I think about it every year between February and April-ish. Man I’m getting old. So if we raised $160-200, would that pull us back on track?

@Friday was better at elucidating my “find out what’s actually happening without peer support being one’s sole support system and help center” feelings and the ticking clock aspects of that reaction from members. I couldn’t figure out what “before the forums were separated” thing was about...

I didn’t say it was an inevitability. Read what you quoted carefully, which is the concluding overview of my rather comprehensive reply, and you might find it less strongly worded than you initially thought. I think I was pretty thorough in my explanation for why there is a tendency toward...

@PlainJane nailed my experience with this phenomenon. I have a strict 48 hour maximum on exposure to my home state and family for this reason. I turn into myself at 15, and I have the same disorienting aftershocks you described afterwards, sometimes for weeks or longer. Even an intense phone...

Right, so the lack of a diagnosis is problematic, and it’s not, in my experience, because people are being “elitist” but what @Skywatcher expressed: it’s a curse of a Dx. Whether you have PTSD or not, experiencing a disruption of functioning due to an event calls for the attention of a...

JMH, I hate that I have nothing to actually add, but my god I needed to read this too. I just got severely f*cked over by people who are too incompetent to realize how utterly screwed they would be if I bit back with my full force... but I’m just so tired right now. It’s really just shocking...

I’ve really wanted to respond to you here, JMH, so I’ve kept this tab up since the thread started, but I still haven’t found the energy to say everything I want to say to you. My mother has become increasingly lacquered in sentimentality as the holidays wore on. She even got weirdly wistful...

@scout86 I actually highly recommend putting cold grapes in a bowl and squeezing the hell out out of them. It’s extremely satisfying. I have actually been coping by playing tug with my giant dog, but it’s been so cold it’s been difficult to drag myself out of bed to suit up for longer than I...

Do you remember your montage of “STOP” photos, which I solicited? I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t stop. I was right, though! He was trouble. So much trouble I fell in actual love. How dare he do this to me... :D

My symptoms are all kicking. I’m reminded too much of My Actual Stalkers, like the one who woke me up in the middle of the night in my room, standing over my bed, stroking my face. And The Good Doctor was so, so gentle. So delicate. He reached out and held my face like he was touching an...

Oh, my dear Scout, please—go for it. You should hear me. I have switched from the constant repetition of “I don’t want to kill myself. I don’t want to kill myself. Stop it. Simon, calm down. No. You don’t want to kill yourself” to “That motherf*cker. You’re a f*cking asshole, you know that...

Oh @Friday, you’re always so... nail, head, etc. And you know me. I have, well, a vocabulary. Accost feels right to me, too. Attempted/failed seduction occurred to me, too, but it was sooo creepy in retrospect—the isolation of the dark woods, the sudden fear, the absence of an escape route...

These are both extremely validating. Thank you. It helps that these words echo my own to so many others who went through similar circumstances, especially the part where men tend to honor the wishes of other men far more than they care about the woman in question, because she is no longer a...

But I let him. I used what I consider the most cowardly, repulsive line you can feed someone coming onto you. It wasn’t no for the sake of no. I said no, I’m taken. I’ve always considered that a cowardly way of putting someone down. It’s like saying, I would, but you know, I can’t because of my...

I just came back to say it’s too late now. I am far enough away from my addiction that I don’t even want it back, especially because the side effects, the resurfaced symptoms it had quelled so damn effectively, are yielding too many things I think of as benefits. Yes it feels like my body is...

Why is this eating me up. Was it because, for a moment, I was genuinely tempted? I was licked by the seductive flames of danger and went unburnt, the way it always begins, and the adrenaline was such a sweet reminder of what it feels like to live in the deafening din of chaos? That the stress of...

Because this shit always seems to happen to me, I’m stuck trying to decide whether it’s my fault, as usual. The last time I was seriously assaulted, I didn’t even think anything of it. The only reason it glares in my memory is because my best friend was also assaulted. He got us both. Her...

# So I got my master’s last year, and then I did exactly what I said I’d do for years: I moved. I got everything I could squeeze out of that tiny backwoods town—lifelong friends, a graduate degree, a substantial bug out fund, and my boyfriend turned husband, who proposed before we got in the...

sometimes feels

I seem to be excessively given to existential depression... but I’ve learned to embrace a one part hedonism one part Buddhism kind of framework to stave off my characteristic nihilism. I think the purpose of all life is to experience the ego, suffering, ecstasy, and Everything Else that is...

I appreciate the truth of this response, and it is true. But no... I use these substances as entheogens. The very few times I didn’t come correct, I got my ass handed to me. I use them to create new neural pathways, check myself, seek ego death, and access the divine. But I know better than to...

Hello and I’m glad you’re here so you don’t need to be quite as alone. If my lifetime of experience (and decade in this community) is anything to go by, this will probably keep happening to varying degrees. The bad news? As @ladee said, PTSD is not linear. I like to think about it like having a...

Thank you so much! Yeah... it’s a real trip what a total game changer our relationship has been for me. I stopped dissociating, and I didn’t even realize until then exactly how much I was totally numb. I mean it was absolutely scary as hell, but now I like it... usually. I can tell when I’m...

That’s totally fair (the fluff is just how I write unless I’m in an icy mood, but that doesn’t mean it’s not also a comfortable buffer), but you realize... LSD isn’t addictive? Or DMT? Or mushrooms? That’s why I wrestled with whether or not to seek benzos for two years before I sought them...

I feel like this is not a surprise, but it is an accomplishment. Right before the wedding I bought a two-seater car. A car I can’t pack my whole life into and leave. Somehow that actually felt bigger. But yeah, it’s Mrs. Simon, MA, which I guess won’t be a thing as much when it’s Dr. Simon...