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Where I live most of the psychologists/psychotherapists wear casual clothes and the psychiatrists wear suits. I have to say I have always felt more comfortable with someone wearing casual clothes as it makes me feel that they are on a same level as I am . When I talk to the psychiatrist in a...

It has been 10 months since I last saw you and I still miss speaking to you. I wonder if you ever think of me at all(even if it is just for a minute or two) or am I just part of your history.I wish I could tell you about everything that has happened in the last 10 months and all the secrets and...

Thank you so much @Wendell_R for your reply and your advice. I suppose I thought that if I had sex then everything would go back to normal and it would be easy but it was the opposite. I think you are right about taking things more slowly and needing to get in tune with the adult me and that I...

Thank you @somerandomguy and @Mach123 for your replies. I am not in therapy at the moment but I meant to be starting DBT soon. I did see a specialist counsellor but our work together ended in March. I am sorry to hear that you still find it hard even after 30 years of marriage @Mach123 . The...

Last year in March I started to remember some repressed memories from my childhood. I have had such a difficult time trying to get my head around everything and I have been having flashbacks,self harming and suicidal thoughts. I have also been avoiding any sexual contact with my partner.That was...

Up until last March I had no memories of CSA and then I went to the dentist and that triggered me. Over the last year all these repressed memories have come out. I have had doubts about remembering after such a long time but I have been told by most mental health professionals that our brain can...

@Changing4Best I can understand your anxiety about working with a man but I would also say give it a go and see how you get on. I have worked with three male therapists and I can honestly say that all three of them are the most wonderful human beings that I have ever met.I felt safe and secure...

With my old T I would have been really embarrassed to tell him certain aspects of my life. We had quite a close relationship and there was my transference and attachment towards him which brought up its own aspects of shame. With my new counsellor I have told him some very personal information...

I think this type of reaction is quite common. I have a few different mental health professionals and they all use my nickname as my full name is a kind of trigger.

Welcome to the forum.There are lots of us on here that feel exactly the same way as you do and use different things to punish ourselves. You are not alone and we are here to support you.

Thank you very much for your reply @zarae . I agree it leaves you confused because you do feel that if you got pleasure then it couldn't have been that bad. I think it is quite common but it doesn't make it any easier to process.

It has been 5 months and I still miss him. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. Only a few more days to the anniversary and my life changed forever. I just want the pain to stop. Everything makes sense now.

I watched it up until they started talking about their abuse but then I had to turn it off. However like others have said the main trigger for me has been other people's reactions on social media. I have seen many tweets which have upset me, especially ones like all sexual abuse victims are just...

@Cypress. Defiantly have a word with him about the way you are feeling. The therapy room is where you can be open and honest and it may even strengthen your therapeutic relationship.

Good luck

Before my repressed memories came out my fiance and I used to share a bed at weekend's and in separate beds during the week(mainly due to him having to get up early). In the last year since remembering CSA we haven't shared a bed at all and just the thought of being intimate makes me feel...

A McDonald's strawberry milkshake ?

I agree with the others about writing down your thoughts and then giving it to your therapist.

@Justmehere I wanted you to know you are not alone. I am on Lansoprazole 15mg and that works about 75% of the time and I top it up with heartburn medicine.

So I saw my T again today and we discussed my nightmares which I've had over the last few nights and he explained to me how they relate to how I am feeling in real life. Then we talked about flashbacks and what I wanted to do with them , I said I am scared by them and he said that we could work...

For me the body memories are even worse than the flashbacks as they bring up shame,embarrassment and guilt. In regards to flashbacks and how to deal with them.I have been told to rub my ear whilst at the same time you look at certain objects in the room and describe them to yourself.

Well done @Lucycat, you should be very proud of yourself.

Thank you very much @Starfire for letting me know of your experience and how talking through your flashbacks helped you. My T has said to me that I could talk through mine with him.I have a restricted number of sessions with him so it really is make or break time for me.

Thank you very much @oakleaves for your reply and very kind words. You should be very proud of yourself as it is such a difficult subject to talk about. Since I told my therapist about what happened we have had a couple of sessions and we have not mentioned the abuse as I think he wants me to...

@Briellewannabe Wow I could have written your post including the part about feeling suicidal at an early age. I completely understand where you are coming from when it comes to wanting to be better but at the same time being scared to be better. Dealing with trauma is scary,you have to show your...