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You're not alone. I basically didn't talk to my therapist, at least not anything important, for months. Eventually journaling and poetry helped. I'd let my therapist read what I wrote and then we eventually get to talking...sometimes. It's better now (3 years in), but I still have times I...

Yes, I know those strategies, but it's hard to apply them when I am not co-conscious and am dissociated into another part. It gets tricky. But that won't stop me from working on figuring out how to teach this part other ways and get her to believe she is allowed to use them.

I know other ways, but I am not always co-conscious with this part which makes it hard. She's stuck in her own world and she has relaxation places in there to help her, but when times get really rough she says she can't get there. I am working on creating a new plan to help with that, but that...

I failed. Twice this week. Don't know if it's helping the part that's doing it, but it's certainly not helping me. I feel so lost.

I am pretty sure it was a panic attack. I get asthma-type syptoms after running in cold weather, this was not the same.

Since I have DID, I sent out red flags in different ways. I never talked or drew anything of a sexual nature. I knew nothing about sex or male anatomy until I was much older. All that was hidden from me for quite some time, but still the other red flags like the hysterics and the not talking...

I've been going through very similar things. I barely spoke in kindergarten to the point where my mom was surprised that they sent me on to first grade (I never knew that). I do remember that I stopped talking in 7th grade as well. I also was super clinging to my mom and freaked out if I...

I am not sure what I would have done before I knew my own sexual abuse history. I keep wondering why people didn't pick up on the red flags that I was sending out. I think this mother probably wanted to protect her daughter and didn't stop to think of why you knew such language and...

@Silver. , thank you for taking the time to share words of support. I really appreciate that.

Yes, I feel that way sometimes, too. I also feel misunderstood and shunned by people, but I have come to understand that a lot of people just don't know what to say or do and so I want to teach them. I am sorry that you had such a horrible car accident. Mine was bad, but I didn't get...

Today is the 4th anniversary of the car accident that literally flipped my life around. The accident itself was pretty serious and horrible. The car ended up on it's side. That's why I always say my life was literally flipped because after that things just kept getting worse. I learned I had...

I was able to switch from narcotic pain killers to a more specified and non-narcotic one so I am feeling better about that.

I struggle with that. It's a bit different perhaps, but the struggle is the same. I have a part currently that I struggle with. Mainly she bangs and cuts, but if she could find her preferred method, then she would try to kill and has before. The showering part, I just realized was not so...

Yes, to all of that. I blame myself for anything and everything. I feel selfish and lazy. I feel worthless. I try to work on figuring out things, but I can't. I just see myself as always wrong.

Definitely. There's a lot of stuff to sort out in my life and it's an anniversary time of year that lasts about 4 months so that's hard. Plus there's stuff I am remembering or piecing together from childhood trauma that my system keeps me from talking about and that is eating at me inside. I...

@Ronin , I appreciate that thought/suggestion. Maybe someday I could do that. But no, not an option. Even when I was an in-patient and it was perfectly "normal" to not shower and I was lightheaded and could barely stand, I showered before going to staff with how I was feeling. It's a hard...

I have not cut for months. I am not sure how many but I think about 6. This is a hard time of year for me and I can feel parts of myself longing for the release that they know cutting will bring. I am huddling in bed with a computer in front of me sometimes crying or calling out to the void...

I didn't really know about my trauma when I wrote my college essay, but I did take a small event and portray it as an analogy to the bigger struggles in life. I wrote about when I was running in a cross-country race and had kept running up a really steep hill (basically a small mountain) and no...

@cupfish , that is a hard decision to make. I've been there and I am there in a way.

Well, I just found an error in their documents. It says my last date after a leave of absence at the end of the 2014-2015 school year and electing to take and unpaid leave of absence for 15-16, that I worked a half day of my own time on December 16, 2105. I can assure you, I was not anywhere...

Thanks, @jaccat for responding. They already have all of my medical records, statements from my former employers, and from my therapist. I have to go to an appeal hearing at which I know I can definitely dispute that I am gainfully employed. Should I re-submit the parts of the other stuff...

I am wondering if anyone has any advice for appealing the denial of disability specifically related to a state retirement system and not Social Security. I was a teacher and cannot function well enough to perform those duties currently. I applied. At first, I thought that it would be a...

When I have spoken to my children, it's been about feelings and how I need more help with mine just like when they're physically sick they need more help. I've mostly talked with my 7 year old since was probably 5-ish, but not the whole thing, just little bits here and there. I have always...