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Crickets on a stick? Wow! I have loved Coca Cola all my life. Now I have one and my feet swell. No doubt sodium. I don't mind losing salty foods - but Coke? Wah! I am going for physical soon just to check everything out. I am sensitive to anything not easy to digest because at 57, after...

Sleeplessness Hyper Vigilance

Yes and I believe so. For example, for decades, I would get extremely anxious from 5-7 p.m. and finally realized that's because those were the hours as a little girl I would get nervous anticipating my dad's arrival home each night. I would get nervous at ten p.m. because that was the time for...

I was checked out as in good health. That's when I learned about buried emotional energy or trauma energy. We may not have felt it at the time, but the energy gets buried. The body remembers. My feet get the sadness - far from my heart. The pain uses to wake me up. I learned by accident that...

Have you ever considered Somatic Therapy? That releases trauma energy in the body. The primitive brain which dissociates us, activates fight or flight, etc. in an effort to help us survive cannot understand words or thought so talk therapy can't access that, though it can intellectually...

I am so sorry for what you have gone thru and your experience of life. You are being heard here, and we can see you from your words. You are a beautiful person. I know what it is to feel unloved and wish the whole thing was over. I am 57 now and that has changed for me slowly over the last few...

Well, he was certainly a royal jerk. I know this sounds a little strange maybe, but I was thinking that if you hadn't started involuntarily shaking and so on, if you had kept it in somehow, zoned out, blocked it, dissociated - that could have proved way worse in the long run for you. More...

I am glad you trusted your instincts. I wish I had more over the years. Wish I could've felt them. Now I do anyway, and now is all that exists -though my primitive brain would have me believe otherwise sometimes.

Welcome! You are no less a man for having PTSD. There are reasons why some people get it and some don't in similar situations. One reason might be you never released the trauma energy after experiencing trauma. Animals in the wild do it automatically, or they would all be sort of frozen and...

Wow! That's fantastic. Good going!

I self medicated with alcohol or drugs from 15 to 43. My shrink meds never did much but allow sleep and numb me. But eventually - especially first off drugs and alcohol - painful feelings and physical discomfort rushed in. It might be best to accept you could feel discomfort for a while. It's...

For sure my feelings were blocked or numb for decades. Then with they began rearing their strange little heads, I self medicated them away, which I don't advise of course. Once off all meds, it took me a long time to understand I was feeling certain emotions like sadness, for instance. It was...

I think your interpretation sounds right. She was another version of you. Maybe it was easier to see that abuse when it wasn't you, or that part of you has somehow been separated from the core you after the trauma. There is a school of thought in dream interpretation that everyone in your...

Oh my gosh, I love you playing the guitar and singing to them. That is so beautiful. I have been using yarrow drops for my husband's arthritis with a lot of success, but his pain, etc. isn't crippling. Stiffness and aches in shoulder and fingers. I am always interested in new ways to help. I...

(((@hope4now ))) I am so sorry you are going thru this. Nothing triggers me like family, then you throw in an emergency and Whoa!!! You are not at fault in any way. It is so difficult to be in an actual emergency type situation when you are exhausted and have PTSD. Your body/brain may be...

That's so interesting @arfie re arthritis and bee stings. I wonder what's in it - something anti-inflammatory I suppose. Are the bees affected by the emotions of the beekeepers? How do you calm them? I think that's so cool you do this.

When I was young, I used to talk so fast people were always telling me to slow down. It felt near impossible when I tried. I had a great deal of anxiety at the time, and also looked into being bipolar, which I wasn't. And from a psychological point of view, I had very low self esteem and felt I...

I feel like I am a kid strapped to a hospital gurney at night when I try to sleep sometimes, and of course I can't sleep. I am scared and feel abandoned. I also have had the felt sense of hands holding me down at ankles and upper shoulders when meditating. I think this is related to overdose...

I like that - Be gentle with yourselves. Trauma is a violence to the system. PTSD has frequently got us in an emergency state when there is no imminent annihilation situation anymore. We might feel as if - we must fix this now!!! Because our bodies are so revved up. It is important to step back...

I was on Zyprexa. Ugh. I was always slim, and actually didn't gain on Zyprexa for a while - and then BOOM! 40 pounds. I worked out 2 hours a day - 70 minutes aerobic, 20 minutes boxing, 30 minutes weights and core. It took forever to lose 17 pounds. I got off the damn drug, which never did...

Welcome back! And so glad the bees are calmer! I was having horror movie visions.

I would definitely talk about it with your therapist. S/he could ask all the right questions and help you figure this out. I wish you weren't seeing this. I used to keep bright lights on until I went to sleep and then keep my eyes shut when I went to bed. My hallucinations stopped when I...

@greenleaf - I am so thrilled to hear you are having these positive body experiences. Peter Levine talks a lot about the body and how it can heal us. I can't remember his exact terms in Waking the Tiger, but a phrase I've seen used in a lot of PTSD books is "the body remembers". It holds all our...

Do you have this experience when you are sleep deprived and/or under a lot of stress? Have you spoken about it with your T? I hallucinated years ago when I was horribly sleep deprived. Your brain goes into a dream state when you are that exhausted and you dream with your eyes open. Do you only...

What is working for me is Somatic Therapy where I safely release trauma energy without discussing the details of the original trauma, and also mindful meditation, where I safely experience my body head to toe. Have you read Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine? It's fantastic and illuminating. I...