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Thanks and after alot of reading especially from this site I understand that as the truth. It's still hard not to fall into those mindsets though.

I suggested going to relationship counseling before we broke up but see wasn't very open to idea. We are trying to be friends at the moment. However I feel like she would rather date other people than try another relationship with me. She says she still loves me. It's definitely hard to hear...

I've been struggling lately a lot about my last relationship. With the respect that I keep harping on myself about how If I could have always done the right thing or acted the right way I would be still in a relationship with my girlfriend. A little back story my ex girlfriend suffered from past...

Now put on top of all that I just don't get dates, matchs, or even intrest at this point. So that's definitely feel like she was the one and that I should have done better.

Most likely. Idk it's a hard pill to swallow knowing you can't have a loving romantic relationship. I don't mean I'm looking to have a amazing dating life, but you need some kind of dating life to find relationships. Thank you for the kind and thoughtful response. It does make sense. I think my...

Oh always on a path of growth, don't get me wrong. I love growing as an individual I'm a completely different person in my mid 30s compared to where I was in my early 20s and I love it. However it all of this growth never really translated to a better dating life so I don't hope for the future...

I appreciate your response and I don't feel like you are pushing me at all. Do I wish thier was another good fit for me yes. However knowing my past and understanding my future won't be much different has me down. I understand I will probably never meet someone again. I've sat on the sidelines...

I get what your getting at. I didn't think they were perfect by any means and knew that thier battle with trauma would not be easy. Even when they were in thier lowest I still loved them for who they were no matter what. Again even in those dark moments. They were the person I had been...

Thanks for the the thoughtful response. Life definitely can willfully show you something. If life keeps giving you the same result as you try different things to help work on your situation it's showing you. I would also disagree being in the game of dating and always being on the losing end...

I understand what your getting at and yeah it's not fair for me or them to stay friends. The other part I truly believe that I will never meet someone else. My dating life has never been much of anything. As I got older I know understand that there is even less of a chance to find someone. So...

I think because I never got over her the first time around. Now that we have had a deeper and longer connection I understand I'll never get over her. I know that I will never meet someone like her again. Like the whole idea of her being the one.

It's been a long path with her. We dated for a bit and broke up for two years. I was devastated for those two years before we got back together for another year. So I know I'll never get over it. I know I lost the one.

I do want to stay friends but I know in my heart I will always want more from her than just friendship.

@nursenurse Thanks for the response

I'm going through some strong feelings at the moment. I've stayed in contact with my ex that had ended our relationship due to past trauma from another relationship and past life experiences. At the end of our relationship she asked over and over that we stayed friends and that she still loved...

Just came across this post. This reminds me alot of my last relationship. I still see my ex from time to time and she to this day still tells me that she loves me and I'm very important to her. Does she want to have a relationship with me no. I think you need to understand is most likely this...

Also just like to add I had no idea that this was a trigger and she had never brought to my attention that it was an issue until that moment. I immediately moved from that spot.

It's definitely not easy.

Maybe if it was a very surface level friendship it could work, but having her want to have deep emotional friendship is hard.

It was something I was more than willing to do when we were in a relationship. However now I'm a bit hesitant about it.

Would you want to be friends with an ex that pulled away due to there struggles with past trauma? My ex pulled away due to feeling triggered around me and ended the relationship. Now she wants to be friends again and I feel like I'm taking on alot of emotional load from her in the few times we...

I agree that inconsistent is like jekyll and Hyde.

No I'm not talking about that kind of consistent/inconsistent. That sounds brutal. I think what they wanted was someone that would always side with them and never show that they were upset. If I set a boundary say something like please send me a "I'm okay but I need space text." When they...

I guess I'm a little confused as well. I tried to come to that relationship with as much consistency as possible and tried to show my actions and responses to situations to be the same supportive partner each time. I'm still confused on what my partner consider consistency as even after the...

Thanks for the reply. I agree with what you brought up and always tried to do this.