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So on Wednesday I did a psych eval. It got me all discombobulated. I had to sit and drink cold water at the psych office before they let me drive home. Here I am a dizzy emotional mess telling the psychiatrist I often want to die... then I go out to my car, and a friend calls me, and I switch...

What I do in the day, even the morning, affects how I sleep at night. The cumulative effect of the day's intake has a huge impact on my nerves at night. No kind of sleeping pill overcomes that. I've tried every remedy under the sun, from prescriptions to Chinese herbs, and nothing brings me down...

I have siblings who I haven't seen in literal decades. Some of them are badly disordered. One of my brothers is schizophrenic; we've had one coherent conversation in the past 20 years. My family is a wasteland of drug abuse, homelessness, gang involvement, partners dead or in prison, etc. These...

I can’t tell people my dreams because it takes too long to tell the story. They go forever. Highly sophisticated in detail and dialogue. Then I wake up for 30-60 minutes with my brain feeling refreshed. This happens most nights.

I have a feel-good day when I got some sleep and have a little energy. I'm going to do it. I'm going to adult today. Take a shower, eat lunch, go outside. My motivation gets me into the shower, then the space-out begins. Sometimes it's a novel in my head with lengthy complicated plots...

People think panic attacks escalate because the sufferer gets emotional. They think it's a state of emotional terror that manifests an ever-growing fight or flight response. Panic disorder doesn't work that way. During all of my attacks, I'm completely lucid, not scared, knowing full well it's...

I have CPTSD and Panic Disorder from childhood stuff. Presently in counseling, and in the process of getting a psychiatrist. I’m good at hiding pain and being there for others. Most times I don’t tell people anything about my troubles. I can be in the hospital and my friends won’t know. Even...