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I can't stand people I don't know touching me, for any reason. I'm not even good with people I do know touching me, though I can tolerate it if I know it's coming. I feel for you. If someone touches me, and it is uninvited, I just move or shift away, look at them and ask them please not to do...

@CrowFeather The acupuncturist I'm seeing said almost exactly the same thing to me, so I may have stumbled on the right one! She said she needed to slow my system down, to let it have a chance to "reset" correctly, and that it could take awhile. She wants me to come in once a week for the first...

Thanks everyone. I'm scheduled for another round of chiropractic and acupuncture next week. I still haven't slept any better, but I am feeling just a bit more awake despite the lack of sleep. I've definitely noticed I'm not as negatively emotional. I even had the courage to give notice to my...

Mine is the nickname my grandfather called me, Anna, and that I didn't win, I lost. But the war isn't over, as long as I keep fighting, right?

Well, no one replied but I thought I'd give an update. I went to the acupuncture appt today. It was a very mellow space, and totally not what I expected. The room was a communal room, with recliner chairs all around the walls, facing inward. There was enough space that I didn't feel "up in...

I read you entire post. I resonated strongly with several of your experiences. I'm hurting, for reading what a child has been forced to go through, and cheering, because that person had the strength to know it wasn't right and to seek help and reach out. There are no easy answers I think, and...

Oh no, my husband never hurt me! The slaps are my abuser from when I was a child. Sorry for confusion. Thank you for your kind reply. This thread has been like finding my people! Ok, this whole site :-)

Wow. This is fascinating. I've had nightmares as far back as I can remember. I'm also a very lucid dreamer and have a lot of repeating dreams. My late husband would always just curl around me and put his arm over me to wake me up. The pillow would be soaked from my tears, and he would just hold...

I went to see a chiro today, first time in over 10 years. I used to go regularly and am a strong believer in the philosophy of a healthy nervous systems equaling a better chance of healthier living. Not to mention relief of pain and tension from subluxations. After the adjustment I found...

To clarify, it was my mother and her husband that nearly killed me. I realized the way I wrote it, it sounded like MY husband. Oops. :O_o: Truthfully, it can be very hard not to act on it. Especially around holidays or anniversaries of certain events. I feel very left out sometimes (even tho I...

I understand. I have a friend, someone who wants more, and I just won't do it, because I can't trust myself in a relationship right now. I don't care how great, honest and kind he is - I'll never really know, you know? I'm sorry you are going through this. I can only tell you what I am doing...

To be blunt, you don't cut contact and not feel guilt. That is a kind of fictional lie, isn't it? The ideal tough person, unaffected but making the strong choice character? Not real. Ten years and I still think of them, worry and ruminate how I could have changed things. But I also know, when...

One of the issues I've struggled hardest with the loss of my husband was that he was a serial cheater. Not in the traditional sense, but always online. We had a marriage that everyone was envious of, rarely fought, good kids, best of friends. He was my friend, and I his, in the deepest way I...

I saw this a couple weeks ago. I found it incredibly calming too!:p

I was furious. His actions were premeditated and deliberate. He attempted to destroy evidence during the investigation. He had 20 girls on his list to "slay". It makes me want to barf. Oh wait, I did. :mad:

I have three tattoos, each for someone I lost/died that contributed to my PTSD. One was my abuser, the other two my supporters (even though I didn't know to call them that at the time). I've been considering having the abuser tattoo reworked, because as it is it's a painful reminder every time I...

I'm new to these forums, but I read your post and cried. In solidarity and with fists raised. So happy for you!!

Thank you, for all of your replies. Isn't it strange that connections through this medium help us so much? but they do. I'm grateful for that. I can't even parse what is in my head. I want to sleep, but I cannot. I want someone to hold me and tell me I'm safe, but I can't trust enough to allow...

I haven't slept a full 6 hours since before my husband died, unless I drank myself to unconsciousness. I'm trying not to do that and have been mostly successful the last 5-6 months, but the lack of sleep is so difficult. If I try and talk about it to anyone I get very little understanding. I'm...

Like @void I grew up in a cult, severe in its thinking and very demanding in its proscribed views. I got out and struggled with what I believed. I'm now an atheist. I don't believe in any human definition of God or gods or that they have some sort of influence on my life. I just can't bring...

I'm not sure if this will help, but I can identify with what you're saying. I spent 40 years in a very tight knit cult, one where my identity completely relied on the people I was around. After my husband passed away I had to redo my bedroom, to create a space where I was safe. I realized I...

Oh that's tough. I'm in the early phases, >1 year, and I have no idea. The people who are still in my life and know what I'm dealing with, all respect my space. I'm fortunate in that. They know if they don't hear from me that I'll check in when I come out of whatever fugue I'm in. The most...

As a sufferer I feel for you. I don't know if this will help, but I heard a sing by Gabrielle Alpin and the lyrics struck me as almost exactly what you described. "Just please don't say you love me 'Cause I might not say it back Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like...

I tried dating a few months ago. My T thought it might be good for me to resocialize or something. That's ended up being an emphatic NOPE. I can't do it. I've had one friend who's been persistent in his interest. I decided to have a frank discussion with him about where I'm at. I'm not a good...

I just weaned off lexapro and it's still tough. The emotions are much stronger but I'm practicing a lot of mindfulness to get through. Thankfully the apathy and exhaustion have been quickly dissipating, which was why I wanted off the meds. Definitely, take it slow. Best of luck!