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The 21st was my anniversary. Ten years ago there was an amazing party in Hawaii with close friends and family, the funnest 4 days ever. Unfortunately there was a groom. The end of the 4days in Maui marked the beginning of the worst decade in my life. Perhaps darkness was set in motion by that...

Gosh, I am not sure where I fit, but any memory thread hits a chord. I can't keep track of time. I wake on Monday morning and by evening it is Friday. It confuses me, horrifies me, makes me unsure of all reality since time seems the basis of most. Memory is a slippery world for me.

That is a great decision, as I see it! Good for you! Don't let him take your money unless you are comfortable and in control. That other circumstance might just lead to more trauma. I have noticed the attack from all sides hasn't let up even when I give up on confronting. The attack of the...

We all do what we know best serves us, I think. I hung on tooth and nail to those in my life until it was no longer an option so I feel it has little to do with strength and more to do with options. We all do the best with the options provided, in my opinion.

This statistic is widely recognized and many resource available with a google search. I was wrong it is 78 per hour not 73, in the US. But I got my statistic from Gavin De Becker's 'The Gift of Fear'. Here are two references that were at the top of the google search I just did stating the same...

I have never been good at organizing although I can be rather clean. But since ptsd I do my very best to organize, but then can never remember how it was organized, what the set up was. I have tried labels, list, computer programs but have settled on setting aside time for my lack of...

purgemeofthepain, I believe is anger is good. I embrace it, as it is a messenger that places me in danger when suppressed. You should be angry! Speaking of, I must agree with KwanYingirl. Respectfully, Dana1010, perhaps the sentiments of "barefoot, pregnant in the kitchen" is a metaphor...

Thank you, purgemeofthepain, for your kindness in response. I used to do a lot of drugs as a teenager and dissociative amnesia is the biggest trip thus far. But I am never sorry for what has happened, I have gained more than I lost, absolutely. And most importantly I have compassion that is...

I am sorry for all you have been through and go through. I relate to much of what you are saying. I had severe dissociative amnesia from about Jan 2010 until late 2013 and still suffer time loss when triggered. It is a confusing and frightening phenomenon, but you are not alone. I have no...

"Others have suffered so much worse and are successful and happy." "You're just a victim and always have been." My favorite, from my sweet mom: "If you had revealed the an*l penetration we might have more sympathy."

Guess what KwanYingirl and JEKBreatheandBelieve? I have found at least part of the culprit! Since I am on numerous meds I somehow did not notice that I had been given the wrong medication by the pharmacy. I have been taking Enalapril 20mg which is for high blood pressure, heart failure, etc. I...

Thanks JEKBreatheandBelieve, it is exactly like Meniere's, with those exact symptoms. The only difference is it is bi-lateral, never has remission like Meniere's and is not effected by the lifestyle changes that can control Meniere's. It is a specific auto-immune attack of the inner ears...

Thanks for mentioning this KwanYingirl, it helps me to feel less alone. Just last night I searched the internet for the link between allergies and depression. My depression is off the charts, like the kind that convinces me I am crazy and will never feel anything different. I agree the trigers...

No, I work from home. I sell vintage clothing. I am HIGHLY allergic to dust mites but have my inventory in storage and air purifiers in my work areas. I moved here because the relative humidity is so low supposedly dust mites can't survive. It seems to be something natural, this is my first...

I was feeling some hope. With a counselor from rape crisis we went to 3 dentist appointments, something I didn't think was possible since the assault by my gyn. I was newly energized about my business, hopeful about ptsd progress and getting things done. Then something got much worse...

No one. I too am good at pretending, although not as good at it as I was before ptsd. I long to long for company, to have fun and let go. I feel anxious, unsafe and judged. There is a lot of reality to these perceptions.

That made me laugh outloud, Go Hungry. Thanks for the context of reversing roles, since they treat me like I am crazy, while I remain baffled by the context. I notice the comfort of many in painting a portrait that is false, but most accept. Thanks all for your wisdom.

Thanks for your insight. I find this is an area where I am stuck and lack perspective. May I ask what, in your opinion brings the blow back? It is constant and unrelenting and the area I would like most to progress.

I am persecuted for my honesty by the few that remain. I hope to someday be as pure and addiction free as my friends and family. It is my imperfections and addictions that have created my circumstance unlike others, who's circumstances have created their imperfections and addictions. If I...

Gosh, wish I knew too. They are so cunning and plague me constantly since the assaults. I do notice mine worsen when triggered. Last Nov I was the worse ever and it took me a couple of months to realize it was because the man that broke into my house with a knife was house-sitting next door...

I am sitting in front of my computer waiting my third dentist appointment this week, in 3 hours. I am sobbing and not sure why. I sobbed at the first appointment for obvious reasons, I have developed a phobia of all doctors since the assault by my gyn. But I found a wonderful crisis center and...

DO NOT stop taking zoloft, or any ssri, cold turkey. It is compared to heroin withdraw and is dangerous. Yes, I know this from personal experience. You need to ween off of it by slowly lowering your dose. If you recall how long is required for Zoloft to truly take effect in mood modification...

It seems this post is an excellent start! I find it is a messy process and allowing myself that reality enables the most expression. For me, there was no way to go from zero to perfection. Seems anger is one of the least accepted emotions socially, and it rarely goes over well in spite of...

Wow. I am tearing for you now shimmerz. I am sorry and get it in my own way....

I am pleased for different experiences. I was attacked twice by strangers and not only did the neighbors not come, nor did the lapd. So I figure others coming to my aid is a fabulous benefit in a horrible situation. But, I will not lay my life on the line depending upon another as I am the...