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Yes this seems fairly simple to action...I think it gives a good template to sit back and try to reframe where you're at in hard situation with someone else like a disagreement or grievance... but only once you're out of feeling it at its worst... I will try to do this this weekend This is...

Cocsa really is a complex and confusing topic. And the hard thing about it often is knowing whether the actual event was traumatic, in whatever way, at the time, or whether, with a growing understanding of what is considered 'bad' sexually (socially) whether we then start to reframe our...

What strikes me about this post is the focus is on cocsa and you being the abuser where the real issue is you were sexually abused by an adult - a serious offence... and a knock on effect from that likely happened with your brother which you now frame as you being the main wrong-doer... you...

I would say this is key... if it's never been an issue or impacted your life in any way until your friends comment is unlikely to be trauma This can go both ways. In your case likely not cocsa if you haven't had any other come back from it... But there are cases of cocsa which happen where...

Thanks for v this @Ecdysis ... I'm going to try to get reading this all later today... I really appreciate you sending me these things... sometimes I get over whelmed at the amount of info out there and don't read anything... so the fact you're pulling out relevant material has helped with that...

It's sounds like you've acquired alot of knowledge re this which is great...I think essentially it's the ultimate goal for everyone... we're all working on it, abuse history or not.... it's really helpful everyone's comments, thank you for your input

Thanks @KayW No. My intention is for my perspective to be heard / listened to. I'm well aware we may get to a 'Let's agree to disagree' point with it, which is fine as long as everyone's been heard. No, not at all. Like I just said, this is about being heard. And me learning to speak up and...

It will come back the more you exercise that muscle... the first step was writing it out and sounding it out here... you've got this 👍

Thank you @Movingforward10

I get alot of what you've written here @Ecdysis ... I recognise that absolute need to hide it all and put energy and effort into looking like it's all ok and you're half sane. Could have written that myself. I also feel writing it out is a good idea. I've used this in session before and imo...

I think the realisation that the work in trying to repair (jointly) could be worth alot in my own journey. That if anything, like others have said, walking away when things are upsetting and messy doesn't do the good work we've done any justice. And that even if I decide I don't want further...

Thanks @Friday .. your post made me laugh out loud 🤣 Ok so I do realise, having listened alot to others on this thread, that when I'm triggered my full blown paranoid state (zombie state!) kicks in and I see everything through that lens ... it's essentially mis trust playing out in real...

I can vouch for this! ctad has a really exhaustive list of self education videos on DDs (it'snot just DID). Including alot of practical suggestions but mainly really good education and discussion. I think it's also the best option for those people who can't get DD specialist therapy (this isn't...

Sorry if I've missed lots of info here... but when I read your post i thought that maybe considering whether you're experiencing symptoms of more severe forms of dissociation could be worth looking into? There is a spectrum of dissociative disorders ... and doing things you don't remember and...

Yeah, honestly steer clear from people professing they know how to teach you all about DID based on their own experience...esp those on YouTube.. it's become almost celebrity like in style.. like the in thing to be... very very annoying and actually not a true account for most who have it...

The fact you have first hand experience makes sense. You, like so many here, have many wise words on the matter... This is so good to hear. . For you..... and for me that someone has done it before me 🤣 I like this I like this idea... although the last major therapeutic rupture was as a...